The inenviable task of being “the one that came after…”
in this case it's “the one that came after 'Innocence'”.
At some point, we’ll be covering the one that came after 'Hush'.
The one that came after 'The Body', and to a lesser degree,
the one that came after every season finale.
Though in fairness, season openers are hard.
After the narrative and emotional bombshell that was 'Innocence',
'Phases' is a return to early 'Season 2' or even late 'Season 1' form
with a plastic Monster-of-the-Week,
high school hijinx,
and a Big Bad lurking in the wings to remind us he’s still there.
Problem is, I just wasn’t ready yet for Angel to take up that role
vacated by Spike
and the Master.
It felt a little cheap.
I was still grieving damn it!
Whatever stage of grief that is where you shame gorging on gummy bears
while watching YouTube videos of Buffy and Angel set to an Adele song.
[And I set fiiiiiirrrreee--]
'Phases' opens with a phenomenal throwback moment to 'Witch',
as Oz notices the eyes of the cheerleader trophy
following him wherever he goes.
After a short awkward talk with Willow,
Oz runs into Larry
- the stock high school character from 'Halloween' who has douche dialed up to 11.
[laughs]
"That's great, Larry."
"You've really mastered the single entendre."
Larry asks Oz how far he’s gotten with Willow and in a nice cut Willow tells Buffy
...they’ve gotten nowhere.
In an unusually insensitive (and slightly unbelievable) flub,
Willow forgets the soul crushing events of the previous episode.
"I don't wanna be the only girl in school without a real boyfriend.'
Xander and Cordy are making out in her car when they get attacked by a hairy monster.
In gym class the next day,
Larry has a fresh wound on his arm from a dog that bit him.
Oz quips:
"I've been there, man."
"My cousin Jordy just got his grown-up teeth in."
"Does not like to be tickled."
Self defense class then begins and Sexual Harassment Larry is in a group with Buffy.
Willow reminds her:
"--you're supposed to be a meek little girlie girl like the rest of us."
Really?
Since when?
In 'Halloween', Buffy already threw this guy into a vending machine.
So Buffy feigns wimpiness and Larry takes advantage.
"Oh, Summers you are turning me on!"
All right.
There are a few elements in this episode that just don’t play right for me.
Larry is the first.
Yes, I understand the joke
his persona is setting up for later in the episode,
but the writers have him dialed up so high
...it’s like watching a cartoon.
"Oh thank you, Thigh Master!"
[background heckling]
Buffy and Giles go werewolf hunting and stumble on the misogynist MacGuffin werewolf hunter, Cain.
Problem #2 for me in this episode.
All right, so leaping ahead a bit, Cain exists
solely to create a problem for our characters to solve by the end of the episode:
can they get to Oz before Cain does?
It's just lazy writing. He’s a chicken nugget in a steak house.
There were so many juicy opportunities for drama here without tossing this guy in.
Oz is a werewolf now.
He’s Bruce Banner and the Hulk
which comes with automatic opportunities for drama that,
unlike our 1-dimensional werewolf hunter,
grow a significant character in the show:
They do a little bit of that
but why not simply have Oz on a rampage.
Can Buffy get to Oz in time before he does something that can’t be undone?
Instead we get...
"And you well..."
"You're a girl!"
Theresa, the object of Larry’s earlier desire is walking home from class
and runs into Angelus who walks her home.
At The Bronze, Cordy and Willow are commiserating over Xander’s levels of distraction and Oz’s lack of touchy-feely-ness.
It's another scene that doesn’t work for me given the thing that Xander is distracted about IS Willow
and in a scene earlier with Buffy Willow called Cordelia a "skanky ho".
Would these two REALLY be sharing with each other.
REALLY?!?
The werewolf apparently agrees with me because he jumps in to end their conversation.
Everyone flees.
Buffy tries to capture the puppy and fails.
And Cain shows up to remind Buffy she’s a girlie girl
and how could she think she could girl the werewolf
with all that girlie girl she’s girling.
"You're a girl!"
Buffy and Giles hear on the radio the werewolf has killed a female student.
Oz wakes up in the forest naked and has a sneaking suspicion he’s the werewolf.
He calls his Aunt, mother to Geordi, his cousin, he mentioned in gym class earlier
and it turns out
yep, little Geordi is a werewolf.
What a wonderful detail this was.
Perhaps the only bit of subtlety in the entire episode.
The gang tries to figure out who the werewolf is and Xander decides it's Larry.
Xander goes to confront Larry and we get the joke.
"How are people gonna look at me after they find out..."
"...I'm gay."
It's not a terrible scene.
I just think Larry’s one-dimensional behavior earlier in the episode
...isn’t worth this payoff.
Also, a lot of the jokey werewolf bait and switch is lost on us the audience
because we already know that Oz is the werewolf
...not Larry.
Buffy suspects Theresa’s death may not be werewolf related and goes to investigate.
Theresa wakes up and passes a message on from Angel before Buffy stakes her.
Back at Oz’s place, Oz is locking himself up with chains he apparently bought at an antique shop.
I was struck by how conspicuously absent Sunnydale parents are again.
Oz is locking himself up in the family living room and no one is going to be around while he's all wolfed out?
Willow confronts Oz about his oddly aloof behavior
and notices the chains before Oz changes.
Buffy and Giles pursue Oz into the forest and Willow tranq’s Oz just in time.
Buffy ruins Cain’s "gun'" and sends him on his way.
At school the next day, Willow and Oz have a very Willow and Oz conversation
... and decide they want to go on with things.
"I'd still if...you'd still."
"I'd still. I'd very still."
Yeah, all right fine.
I'd still too.
It's not that any of this is without merit.
The Cain’s and the Larry’s of this episode DO serve a purpose
- Larry’s being slightly more interesting.
There are many Phases going on.
Oz is in his werewolf phase.
Willow mentions her three days a month phase.
Larry is in his closet phase.
And Angel even mentions in the last episode a phase of his own.
"No more of this "I've got a soul" crap."
"What can I say, hmm?"
"I was going through a phase.""
All of them are sexually related.
In keeping with the season's themes.
The wolf himself is said to be attracted to sex.
As a symbol for sexual desire then, there’s a reading here in which Buffy’s choice to capture the wolf rather than kill or become one
indicates a newfound ability to control and take responsibility for her own sexual desires.
It's slightly refreshing given how doom and gloom the season has been about sex in general.
So yeah, I get it.
And I don’t DISLIKE the episode.
Problem is, I think it's a case where being a slave to the message detracted from the storytelling.
So many details felt flat to me.
Larry’s douchiness.
Cain’s cliché sexism.
"You're a girl!"
Willow calling Cordelia a "skanky ho"
...and then commiserating with her about men.
I respect that the episode sits in a long shadow,
but for me there were only a handful of good lines and a couple of redeeming scenes.
What was left after that couldn’t hold it all together.
[---burned while I cried]
['Cause I heard it screaming out your name,]
[Your name]
[I set fire to the rain]
[And it flew us into the flames]
[Well, it felt something died]