THE OPIOID EPIDEMIC HAS AFFECTED
EVERY COMMUNITY ACROSS MASSACHUSETTS FROM THE INNER
CITY TO THE SUBURBS.
MORE AND MORE GRANDPARENTS ARE NOW
RAISING THEIR GRANDCHILDREN, AS THEIR OWN CHILDREN STRUGGLE
WITH THE DISEASE OF ADDICTION.
CAROLEE MCGRATH SAT DOWN WITH MAUREEN DONELAN, THE PRINCIPAL
OF FISHER HILL ELEMENTARY SCHOO IN ORANGE, AND A MEMBER OF THE
FRANKLIN COUNTY OPIOID TASK FORCE, AND JACKI DILLENBACK,
DIRECTOR OF FOOD SERVICES FOR THE DISTRICT -- WHO IS ALSO
RAISING HER GRAND-DAUGHTER, TO FIND OUT MORE.
>> TWAOER' A PRESCHOOL THROUGH SECOND GRADE AND WHEN
I JOINED THE TASK FORCE, IT WAS MIDDLE TO HIGH SCHOOL SO
THEY WERE CURIOUS ABOUT WHY DID I WANT TO JOIN AS AN EARLY
CHILDHOOD PRINCIPAL AND I SAID OH, LET ME TELL YOU WHAT IS
GOING ON WITH YOUR 3 AND AND 5-YEAR-OLDS AND WHAT THEY ARE
EXPERIENCING SO IT BECAME A RICHER CONVERSATIONS ON THE
IMPACT AT SUCH A YOUNG AGE. >> AND WHAT ARE YOU SEEING?
>> TRAUMA, ANXIETY.
CONSTANT CRISIS.
LOTS OF TRANSITION.
I WOULD SAY OUR STUDENTS -- AND NOT ALL OF THEM ARE
DEALING WITH THE SAME SITUATIONS.
IT IS NOT COOKIE-CUTTER BUT A ROT OF STRESS AND EMOTION THAT
COMES OUT IN DIFFERENT WAYS FOR DIFFERENT CHILDREN SO WE
STARTED TO GET TO THE ROOT OF WHAT IS GOING ON AND THEN
STARTED CONNECTING THE DOTS.
RECENTLY, YOU KNOW, I LIVE WITH GRANDMA NOW OR THINGS
LIKE THAT.
SO THEY WERE, YOU KNOW, UNFORTUNATELY -- TEACHERS ARE
NOT NECESSARILY TRAINED FOR THIS.
THEY GO TO COLLEGE.
I WAS A TEACHER.
NO ONE TAUGHT ME HOW TO HANDLE ANY BEHAVIORS.
THERE WERE NO BEHAVIOR CLASSES SO AND AS THE YEARS AND TIME
GOES ON, YOU START IN-BETWEENING MORE AND MORE
BASIS HAPPENING SO WHEN YOU START TO LOOK AT THERE IS A
REASON, THERE IS A FUNCTION OF THAT BEHAVIOR, WHAT IS IT, IT
IS STARTING TO BECOME A COMMON PATTERN.
>> SKWR-BGIE, TELL US ABOUT YOUR STORY.
I KNOW YOU ARE RAISING YOUR GRANDAUGHTER?
>> YES, HER SIXTH BIRTHDAY IS TODAY.
I HAVE HAD HER SINCE SHE WAS 18 MONTHS OLD SO SHE HAS BEEN
LIVING AT MY HOUSE SINCE SHE WAS 6 MONTHS OLD.
I GOT HER AS A HEROIN ADDICT, RECOVERED, THANK GOODNESS, FOR
NOW AND HOPEFULLY STAYS THAT WAY BUT SHE -- I AM HAVING
DIFFICULTY NOT BUMPING INTO WHAT YOU ARE SAYING BECAUSE
WHAT IS SO FASCINATING TO KNEE AS THE GRANDPARENT, SO MANY
DIFFERENT PIECES TO THE WHOLE SITUATION WHEN THE PARENT IS
THE ONE WITH THE CHILD THAT HAS THE ISSUE.
IT IS EMOTIONALLY CATASTROPHIC BECAUSE YOU REALLY HAVE TO
MAKE THE DECISION WHO DO I HELP AND SO MANY GRANDPARENTS
AND FRIENDS OF MINE ARE IN THE SAME SITUATION.
IT IS LIFE-ALTERING ON A PHYSICAL LEVEL JUST BECAUSE
EVERYTHING CHANGES BUT THAT IS WHAT WE KEEP MISSING.
AND FOLKS SAY WELL, THERE ARE SUPPORT GROUPS AND YOU NEED TO
MAKE TIME TO GO AND TALK TO THESE FOLKS.
THE ONE THING WE DON'T HAVE ANYMORE IS TIME.
I AM VERY, VERY FORTUNATE IN THE SENSE THAT I WAS ABLE
TO -- NOT SURE FORTUNATELY IS THE RIGHT WORD BUT I WAS ABLE
TO MAINTAIN A RELATIONSHIP WITH MY DAUGHTER THROUGHOUT
AND IT HAD ITS OWN TEST OF ANGER AND FRUSTRATION AND
DESPARATION AND IN AND OUT OF THE PROGRAM AND JAIL AND ALL
THE THINGS THAT COME WITH ADDICTION THAT WE'RE LEARNING
AS WE GO, YOU KNOW.
WE'RE GETTING PRETTY GOOD AT IT NOW BUT AT THE TIME IT WAS
FRIGHTENING.
BUT I WAS ABLE TO MAINTAIN A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER WHERE I
COULD SAY TO HER, THIS IS HAPPENING AND THIS IS THE ONLY
WAY I KNOW HOW TO HANDLE IT. AND I WANTED TO KEEP HER IN
THE LOOP OF HOW I BEGAN TO TRANSITION EMOTIONALLY AS IT
IS HAPPENING AND THE REASON I DID THAT, I ALLOWED HER TO
STAY IN HER LIFE -- PROBABLY ONE OF THE HARDEST DECISIONS I
HAVE EVER HAD TO MAKE.
>> WOULDN'T IT HAVE BEEN EASIER FOR TO YOU SAY YOU KNOW
WHAT, YOU CAN'T DO THIS, I AM TAKING HER NOW?
>> ABSOLUTELY.
THE PROBLEM WITH THAT WAS MY DAUGHTER NEEDED ME AS MUCH AT
MY BAND FROM DAUGHTER NEEDED ME.
THERE WERE TIMES WHERE SHE WOULD GO TO THE FRONT DOOR AND
SAY THAT'S MY MOMMA AND I HAD TO BE VERY CAREFUL ABOUT BEING
THAT PERSON THAT DIDN'T ALLOW THAT AND I ALSO KNEW THAT
THERE WAS A DISTINCT POSSIBILITY IN MY HEART THAT
MY CHILD WOULD BECOME WELL AND WANT HER DAUGHTER BACK.
SO SUCH A REAL STRUGGLE TO KEEP EVERYBODY STABLE.
MY OWN MARRIAGE STABLE, HOUSEHOLD STABLE, MY JOBS
INTACT, ALL OF THOSE THINGS BECOME PART OF IT AND I HAVE
KIND OF GOTTEN TO A POINT NOW WHERE I FIND GRANDPARENTS AND
I JUST SAY I KNOW, I GET IT.
>> SO IS HER STORY PRETTY COMMON?
I MEAN, THE TURMOIL THAT I CAN IMAGINE YOU ARE DESCRIBING IN
YOUR HOUSE WITH YOUR MARRIAGE, YOU CAN PICTURE IT AND THE
STRESS ON THAT LITTLE GIRL.
HOW MANY LITTLE KIDS ARE OUT THERE LIKE THAT?
>> AND I THINK HERE BECAUSE THEY ARE SO YOUNG, AS JACKI
SAID, THEY DON'T KNOW HOW TO EXPRESS IT AND SOMETIMES IT IS
JUST BEING UNDER THE DESK AND WANTING TO BE LEFT ALONE BUT
NOT KNOWING WHY AND WE'RE SAYING THAT IS A SIGNAL TO US
THAT THEY ARE LOOKING FOR SOMETHING --
>> AND REALLY NOT WANTING TO BE ALONE --
>> EXACTLY.
>> OR TRUSTING >> IT IS A COMMON REACTION.
>> WE HAVE A LOT OF CHILDREN WHO DON'T TRUST US AND WE
WONDER WHY AND IT IS BECAUSE THE ADULTS IN THEIR LIFE, THEY
HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO TRUST.
SO IT IS REALLY ZEROING IN ON WHAT IS GOING ON FOR THAT
INDIVIDUAL CHILD AND FINDING OUT WHAT WE CAN DO TO SUPPORT
THEM AND THEN THE FAMILY BECAUSE WHEN WE CALL HOME AND
WE TALK TO THE GRANDPARENTS, WE'LL EXPLAIN WHAT IS
HAPPENING, WHAT WE'RE SEEING AND, OH, I AM SEEING THE SAME
THING AT HOME BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, I WAS HOPING YOU
DID.
BUT PEOPLE RESPOND IT IS NOT MY PROBLEM, FIX IT.
NOT MY PROBLEM, I DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH IT.
NOT MY CHILD, NOT MY TAXES THAT PAY FOR IT, I DON'T KNOW
WHY I HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT ALL THE TIME.
IT IS A VERY EASY ANSWER WHEN YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
IT IS AN EASY WAY TO MANAGE THE SITUATION.
SO AS A GRANDPARENT AND COMMUNITY TO SEE MORE OF THAT,
NOT SEND THEM OFF ON TUESDAYS TO SEE A COUNSELOR BECAUSE
THEY HAVE A PROBLEM BUT TO GIVE OUR TEACHERS AND
COUNSELORS THE TOOLS OR AT LEAST THE AWARENESS OF WHAT IS
HAPPENING PSYCHOLOGICALLY TO THESE CHILDREN AND OFTENTIMES
THEY ACT LIKE THAT BECAUSE THEY ARE DOUBTING THEMSELVES
AND DON'T LIKE THEMSELVES AND WHY?
BECAUSE THEY HAVE CONVINCED THEMSELVES THAT MOMMY AND
DADDY DON'T LIKE THEM AND THEY AREN'T GOOD ENOUGH.
>> THAT MUST KILL YOU AS A GRANDPARENT THAT YOUR
GRANDAUGHTER WOULD HAVE AND MAKE YOU ANGRY AT YOUR
DAUGHTER?
>> IT MAKES ME NOT ONLY SO DEEPLY SADDENED FOR MY
GRANDAUGHTER BUT FOR MY CHILD BECAUSE SHE IS SOBER NOW AND
FIGHTING AND A WONDERFUL YOUNG WOMAN AND WORKING TO HELP
OTHER PEOPLE BUT THAT DAMAGE, YOU CAN NEVER REPAIR THAT.
AND THAT HURTS ME MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE AND KNOWING AS A
PARENT, THOSE ARE THE JOYS OF BEING A PARENT.
AND SHE WORKS TIRELESSLY EVERY DAY TO REPAIR THAT DAMAGE BUT
I HAVE TO TELL YOU, WHICH IS WHY IT IS SO DIFFICULT,
BECAUSE I HAD TO HELP BOTH OF THEM.
I NEEDED TO ALSO WALK HER THROUGH BEING OKAY WITH THE
FACT THAT, YOU KNOW WHAT?
IT HAPPENED.
NOTHING WE CAN DO ABOUT IT.
BUT I CAN TELL YOU WITHOUT ANY QUESTION, IF I HAVE EVER HAD A
DOUBT, ANYONE WHO LOOKS AT ME SIDEWAYS AND SAYS WHAT WERE
YOU THINKING, I KNEW EXACTLY WHAT I WAS DOING.
THERE WAS NO OTHER CHOICE.
AND BECAUSE OF THE LOVE YOU HAVE FOR YOUR CHILDREN AND
YOUR GRANDCHILDREN, YOU JUST DO IT.
SO NOW WE HAVE TO KIND OF WAYO IS SUPPORT EACH OTHER TO GET
THROUGH IT WHEN YOU WANT TO SAY I DON'T WANT TO DO IT
ANYMORE BECAUSE THE OTHER OPTION REALLY ISN'T WHAT THEY
ARE SAYING.