Loneliness doesn’t discriminate on age, gender,
or across borders - it can affect anyone at any time. And the pandemic has made it worse.
"How to stay social and beat lockdown loneliness."
I am Karen Dolva, and I’m here today to talk about how we can be together,
while we are forced to be apart. I’m the CEO and one of the founders of No Isolation
and we actually develop warm technology for the groups of society that are always isolated.
Even before the pandemic, more than one-third of all older people said that
television was their main companion. That’s more than 4 million people in the UK alone.
During lockdown, 44% of young adults, from 18 to 24, reported feeling lonely.
So today I want to talk to you about what we’ve learnt from this lockdown loneliness.
And more importantly, how can we try to escape it.
"1. We are all in the same boat"
First let me tell you that I am kind of happy that we are all in the same boat right now,
because one of the most effective ways we can reduce loneliness, is actually to talk about it.
Everyone feels lonely at times and there is no shame in that. But even so we see time and time again
in our work that people of all ages are embarrassed to admit they feel lonely.
And as long as loneliness is a taboo, something we feel without talking about it, we are losing
the battle against it. I saw an interview during lockdown that really stuck with me,
it was with a man who said that after Covid-19 started, he felt so much better about himself.
Because for the first time in a long time, everyone around him
was just as isolated as he normally felt, which lifted a burden from his shoulders.
I want it to be just as easy to say “I’m feeling a
bit lonely” as it is to say “I have a headache today”.
"2. Technology is our friend"
Try to imagine if the pandemic of our time had happened in the 1980s or the early 90s,
before the internet was something we all had access to.
And how completely different it would be without all these amazing tools.
Loneliness is a subjective feeling,
it occurs when our own expectations for social interactions are not met.
It’s much easier said than done to maintain a social network and I would actually compare it
to exercising - it is something that you have to set aside time for and do.
And I know first-hand that technology can never replace human-to-human connection,
but it can help us build and maintain those crucial relationships
when meeting physically is difficult.
"3. Welcome new habits!"
With the pandemic entering our lives, easily available social arenas have been taken away
from us. And for many, it was a relief at first to be able to dodge a reunion, and a dinner party,
and maybe skip a night out and just stay at home, but this relief quickly wore off.
Even the introverts amongst us are social beings and we need companionship.
But there are definitely ways we can help ourselves to feel better. I think it´s worth
thinking about those rainy days where you change your routine and you stay inside, but right now
this rainy day has lasted for almost a year and we need to start establish new routines.
For instance, you can re-arrange a monthly book club to a regular video call, or you
can set up a family group chat, you can have a quiz night with your friends, and stay in touch,
be on top of each other’s most important day-to-day things.
And you may find that some of these new routines are good, and here to stay.
"4. Let’s stick to a routine"
I know that the idea of building new routines might seem boring
and tedious but having routines is a very efficient way of getting things done.
If you have lost your old routine, I think it’s a good time to build a new one.
There have been a million online classes and social forums popping up
over the past few months so take advantage of that.
It may feel like there is no reason to stay active and connected right now.
It might be even more difficult if you’re living alone. But creating those daily
routines can definitely boost self-motivation and it may surprise you how the outcome is.
"5. Never too late for new friends"
I think the last thing you need to remember is just because you
feel alone, doesn’t mean that you should be or have to be alone.
Because just being aware of your own need for social connection is one of the most
important steps you can take; simply recognising
that this matters to you and let the people around you know.
If you find yourself lacking an active network of people, you have to take initiative to establish
it. That might be extremely hard but there’s one advantage right now, with everyone being online,
your new best friend doesn’t have to live next door. They can live
wherever across the globe. Use this opportunity to build the new network.
With that, I am going to thank you for your time and say goodbye.