- [Narrator] Hey, Psych2Goers,
welcome back to another video.
Healing is not easy.
There's a lot of stigma regarding going to therapy
and doing any independent inner-self work.
It's still seen as something
that either weak or crazy people do,
and that's just not true.
It might not be 100% easy, but healing is a journey
that leads to deep fulfillment
that nothing outside of you could shake or take away.
This process is very humbling,
but with high risk comes high reward.
During this journey, you will start to feel
the growing pains of change and self-integration.
Keep moving forward.
This discomfort is helping you move into a beautiful life
in which you have a deeper sense of inner peace.
Here are nine uncomfortable signs that you are healing.
Number one, you allow yourself to feel your emotions.
When you're still stuck in survival mode,
you are mostly focused on logic and what you see
because emotions are painful for you to feel and process.
It's hard for you to take the time and make room
for your emotions to just be acknowledged and validated
because it reminds you of hurt
that you would've liked to keep buried.
When you heal, you start acknowledging your negative
and positive emotions because you realize
that extreme focus on one is detrimental to your whole being
and that you are a whole person.
It's uncomfortable at first,
but as you are no longer suppressing or denying them,
you see the value of your emotions and feelings,
and of just letting yourself sit with them
and allowing them to pass.
Number two, you're getting better
at expressing and maintaining boundaries.
When you're not healed or in the process,
you struggle with stating and enforcing boundaries
because you're afraid of rejection, feelings of shame
and guilt from putting your own interest first
or saying what's on your mind.
It's unusual to set firm boundaries
when you're not used to it, but once you start,
it creates more healthy interpersonal dynamics
because you stated your opinions and emotions.
You have the mental and emotional clarity,
and you are more capable of making your own decisions.
Number three, you accept
that you've been through difficult experiences.
Life is hard and unfair, and instead of suppressing all
of the experiences that you have been through,
you acknowledge and accept that they happened.
You accept that these people, places and things
had life-changing impact on you and probably still do.
Once you have accepted that these uncomfortable events
impacted you in their entirety, they actually start
to hurt you less because you've accepted the truth
and are in charge of the narrative of your life again.
Number four, you're less reactive and more responsive
when you're in survival mode.
Everything and everyone is a threat and is treated as such.
Nothing is trusted, and you don't have time to sit
and logically think things through
because you are pure action
needing to defend yourself constantly.
Once you start healing, your natural response
of lashing out, shutting down, running away,
or people pleasing is tested and slowly makes way
for questioning your feelings
and reactions regarding things.
You even find yourself asking,
"Why do I think this way?
"Where does this thinking come from?"
You start practicing emotional self-regulation,
self-analysis, and responsibility.
Number five, you realize that healing is not linear.
Healing is uncomfortable because you are unearthing
and confronting things
you would've preferred to keep suppressed.
Once you get into the rhythm, you realize that part
of that healing is that this distress is okay and normal
because it's not a straight road to inner peace and healing.
You understand and have experienced the highs and lows
of healing and know that the feeling of today
will not match the feelings of tomorrow or even later on.
Number six, you begin to step out of your comfort zone.
Here's the thing about healing.
It's not something everyone will do.
However, if you decide to,
it actually has far-reaching benefits beyond the acceptance
and acknowledgement of the traumatic experience.
Once you are in the healing process,
you are developing bravery
around your emotions and your mind.
With this newfound conscious control,
you are no longer scared by things that scared you before.
Scared of making a living situation change?
You now are redecorating your bedroom
and experimenting with paint colors
you never thought you would.
Going to a party you don't know?
Before, you would've recoiled at the thought,
but now it's a little less anxiety inducing,
and you have a bit more confidence.
Number seven, you easily accept the disappointments
and take them in stride.
Life is a balance of success and failure,
light and dark, ups and downs.
When you're not healing, disappointments hit you
like a freight truck to the chest,
knocking all of the motivation and passion out of you.
With healing, you understand that bad days do happen
and can't be avoided, but are also temporary.
Any disappointments or unmet expectations
are accepted and taken in stride.
You respond in better, healthier ways
that are less reactive.
Number eight, you have more inner peace.
Healing brings about self-integration.
If you're a Harry Potter fan,
it's as if Voldemort brought back all of his Horcruxes
and decided on becoming a better, complete person
who accepts the natural way of life on a soul level.
And if you're not a fan, it's like taking inventory
of all of your experiences, painful or not,
and seeing yourself as the whole person.
You develop this inner peace
because you deeply forgive yourself,
and you can readily forgive others, too.
By having this peace and integration,
you are less likely to self-sabotage
because you're no longer a warring country within yourself
with conflicting desires and emotions.
You reconcile your inner differences.
You no longer criticize and dismantle your character
in your mind.
And number nine, you welcome help and support.
The independent survivor has a don't ask for help mentality,
maybe because they never got it when they needed it
or because of the harsh rejection when they spoke up.
They shut down to get by and decided to do it by themselves
because they had no choice.
With healing, you start to realize
that, as strong as you are,
you can't carry and do everything by yourself.
You do need help, and we all do,
and it's available out there for you.
You are more open to support and less afraid
of having this need for assistance met.
The pride and shame you might feel for asking for help
are gone because you know that it's okay
to let go of the heavy burden on your shoulders
and have someone to lean on.
Did you relate to any of these points?
Do you feel that you are beginning to heal?
As rewarding as the first step of healing is,
you will run into the discomfort of your healing,
and this will try to make you stop, to lessen
or ignore the pain, but whatever you resist, you prolong.
If you are in the healing process, well done,
I'm proud of you for doing this work,
and I hope you can find peace through it.
And if you're not, that's okay because healing
is a long process that takes time.
You're still living and doing what you can.
Applaud yourselves. Did you find this video valuable?
Tell us in the comments below.
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All the references used are added
in the description box below.
Thank you for watching and see you next time.