Well, let's,
let's bring Chris in, Chris.
I am here.
I have always been here.
I do not leave.
How far were you in the process
of finishing your special before
the whole shutdown happened?
I was so close, man.
I was like five jokes away from a full hour.
Um, and then they were like, Hey, if you sneeze,
your dad get in the house.
And I was like, alright, damn.
Okay, cool.
Yeah
And a lot of the jokes don't carry over.
Like I had a joke that was like
black people don't get Coronavirus.
Uh, which it didn't end Well at all.
(laughing)
I mean, my,
my whole PSAP was about how Covid is a hoax
and it's going to go away in April.
Oh. So then that means that
Trump has stole your material.
So it's, it's,
it's honestly comedies, comedies,
just gone to another level.
Yeah, you and I were talking last night about,
even if we got the green light tomorrow,
we would still need to tour before
to essentially work out the specials.
Yeah.
Maybe an outdoor show.
Have you done anything?
That's like outdoor virtual shows.
Yeah.
Outside shows are cool, but I didn't know.
I didn't feel good without a top hat turned upside down
to collect money afterwards.
No.
It feels like it just feels like
you're just yelling outside. Uh,
Yeah
I I've looked at the outdoor shows
where it's just like a guy yelling in a field.
I can't do outdoor shows.
Cause the way I look, if I yell at people in a field,
people think I'm just announcing the rules
to an ultimate Frisbee game.
That's about to start.
I know tag box,
we got double up snow touches.
This guy loves it.
I can't perform in the field
because you perform for free and working free
in a field would not make my ancestors proud
and sent me back a lot.
No, not the time for that.
Nah, nah.
This is cool.
So a lot of people got sent.
Uh, Most of you should have gotten sent
a little gift box from HBO Max.
Yes I did
Oh, this is cool.
I, you know, HBO max sent me one to sort
of a no hard feelings for all the HBO Max jokes.
Very nice to them.
I love it, man.
Yo, I'm honestly very excited about this.
They sent me a lot of cool stuff they sent me two tickets,
two tickets to nowhere.
This is my first time getting two tickets.
to have tickets to a mandatory work meeting.
(laughing)
Oh, they sent me some, uh, liquor.
They sent me some ginger book.
SVC ginger buck and some Matador Barbecue.
Um, I don't think I might,
I don't have the, I just have one,
four Loco in mine now with all testosterone.
I don't think these are legal.
You shouldn't be doing that.
Well, they got me.
Boom, my baby, my favorite, my bullet bourbon.
And they got me a black label, Johnny Walker.
They know how to treat a guy.
Uh, he just sent me a loose bag of vodka.
Oh, I wouldn't drink that.
Oh, I got a full bottle.
It's not all. Oh God.
It is a piping hot flat diet Mountain Dew
left in a Kia Sorento.
Mountain Dew is the only,
only piss FDA proved to drink.
That's dope.
Did you get any snacks?
Did ah, I was about to show you my, uh,
my organic grapes.
I didn't even know you could sing grapes in the mail
and they, and they did, um, smell so great.
Oh, I got snacks. I got starboard.
Oh, that's kinda dope.
It's just yellow.
It's just the worst one.
Oh, that sound,
Hey, yellow's not terrible sheepish.
I got some skinny pop.
They sent me a leaking can of tuna.
Oh, they don't like you dog.
I feel like they don't like you.
Oh, they sent me,
they sent me a DNA kit just in case.
They just sent me a bunch of squirrel DNA and parts.
For what purpose? Oh no.
They send me some Air Pods.
Um.
Okay, Um, I'm not getting any.
Oh, they did send me some Apple product.
Oh, it's just 11 iPhone fours with 2020 software.
So they don't work.
But if you, you know,
if you time traveled and you you'll be able
to talk to everybody in one specific year.
They sent me an Emmy for no reason.
I don't even deserve this. This is crazy.
And package it up for nothing.
It seems really mean they just sent me a 2020 calendar
and planner already filled out with nothing.
Hey Listen, you don't got to fill it out.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
So I can read books without owning them.
They sent me some fun packing paper yet
it matches my pubis.
My box is just lined with actual human hair.
Who's hair is that?
It says John Travolta, OJ, FX.
I don't know.
Um, well we know how your Hollywood career by then
Oh, I spoke too soon.
They sent me an iPad. Uh,
Nope. It's an empty box.
It just has true detective season two in it
that explains the blood pocket.
They just sent me those shoes
that every white sitcom comedy writer wears.
Oh man, those are going to be great
for the live action version of Doug.
They sent me Jay's baby
presents Jay's
Oh, and the tickets to the NBA bubble.
(screaming)
What, this is dope?
They make my dreams come true.
(laughing)
When's the game.
What now, I gotta go, man.
You know whatever, whatever the shit this is
Uh, okay, well that was, uh, Chris Redd
living everyone's dream comedy special coming soon,
hopefully to HBO Max.