( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THAT IS A GOOD LOOK.
THAT IS A VERY APPEALING LOOK.
HELLO!
WELCOME TO THE SHOW.
I'LL TELL WHAT YOU, FOLKS, ARE THERE ANY FANS OF BIG BANKS
TONIGHT?
( NO RESPONSE ) ALL RIGHT.
THEN THIS IS THE STORY FOR YOU.
EARLIER THIS MONTH, THE ONLY BANK WITH A COWBOY THEME, WELLS
FARGO, WAS HIT WITH A $185 MILLION FINE FOR DEFRAUDING
THEIR OWN CUSTOMERS.
WELL, THE $185 MILLION MINUS A $3 A.T.M. FEE.
AND THEY DEFRAUDED THEIR CUSTOMERS FOR KIND OF A FUNNY
REASON: MONEY.
THE BIGWIGS AT WELLS FARGO WANTED THE BIGWIGS ON WALL
STREET TO THINK THAT WELLS FARGO WAS GROWING, SO THE WELLS FARGO
BOSSES PRESSURED THEIR EMPLOYEES TO SELL THEIR ORGANS FOR CASH.
JUST-- I'M JUST KIDDING.
I WISH IT WAS THAT.
IT'S WAY WORSE.
UNDER PRESSURE FROM THEIR BOSSES, WELLS FARGO EMPLOYEES
OPENED UP A MILLION AND A HALF BANK ACCOUNT AND AND A HALF
MILLION CREDIT CARDS IN CUSTOMERS'
NAMES, WITHOUT EVER EVEN TELLING THE CUSTOMERS.
THAT'S RIGHT-- NOT EVEN A FORM LETTER THAT SAID
"CONGRATULATIONS, YOU ARE PRE-APPROVED TO GET TOTALLY
SCREWED!" AND THE MAN IN CHARGE WAS WELLS
FARGO C.E.O. AND STOCK PICTURE
OF A BANKER, JOHN STUMPF.
OLD STUMPF HERE HE STEPPED UP AND TOOK PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY
BY FIRING 5,300 LOW-LEVEL EMPLOYEES HE BLAMED FOR THE
PROBLEM.
IT TAKES TRUE LEADERSHIP TO STAND UP AND SAY "THE BUCK STOPS
5,300 OTHER PLACES."
( LAUGHTER ) THE SCHEME RIPPED OFF CUSTOMERS
ABOUT $2.4 MILLION AND RUINED THOUSANDS OF CREDIT RATINGS, BUT
IT MADE WELLS FARGO STOCK GO UP BY $30 A SHARE, MEANING STUMPF
PERSONALLY EARNED ABOUT $200 MILLION.
I THINK I SPEAK FOR A LOT OF PEOPLE WHEN I SAY, "GO STUMPF
YOURSELF."
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) SO-- STUMPF.
SO LAST WEEK, MASSACHUSSETTS SENATOR AND ALTERNATE UNIVERSE
COOL HILLARY CLINTON, ELIZABETH WARREN, DRAGGED STRUMPF IN FRONT
OF THE SENATE AND TORE HIM A NEW STUMPF-HOLE.
>> SINCE THIS MASSIVE YEARS-LONG SCAM CAME TO LIGHT, YOU HAVE
SAID REPEATEDLY, "I AM ACCOUNTABLE."
BUT WHAT HAVE YOU ACTUALLY DONE TO HOLD YOURSELF ACCOUNTABLE?
HAVE YOU RESIGNED AS C.E.O. OR CHAIRMAN OF WELLS FARGO?
>> THE BOARD I SERVE ON-- >> HAVE YOU RESIGNED?
>> NO, I HAVE NOT.
>> HAVE YOU RETURNED ONE NICKEL OF THE MILLIONS OF DOLLARS YOU
WERE PAID WHILE THIS SCAM HAS GOING ON?
>> THE BOARD WILL TAKE CARE OF-- >> HAVE YOU RETURNED ONE NICKEL
OF THE MONEY YOU EARNED WHILE THIS SCAM WAS GOING ON?
>> AND THE BOARD WILL DO-- >> I WILL TAKE THAT AS A NO,
THEN.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: SHE WILL-- YES.
SHE WILL TAKE THAT AS A NO, AND PLACE IT IN THE
BAG WHERE SHE PUT HIS BALLS.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) I'M SORRY, DO CONTINUE.
>> OTHER BIG BANKS AVERAGED FEWER THAN THREE ACCOUNTS PER
CUSTOMER, BUT YOU SET THE TARGET AT EIGHT ACCOUNTS.
EVERY CUSTOMER OF WELLS SHOULD HAVE EIGHT ACCOUNTS WITH THE
BANK.
AND THAT'S NOT BECAUSE YOU RAN THE NUMBERS AND FOUND THE
AVERAGE CUSTOMER NEEDED EIGHT BANKING ACCOUNTS.
IT IS BECAUSE-- QUOTE-- EIGHT RHYMES WITH GREAT.
>> Stephen: "EIGHT RHYMES WITH GREAT."
I GOTTA SAY, THAT MAKES HIM SOUND LIKE
SOMETHING THAT RHYMES WITH A REAL GRASSBOLE.
( LAUGHTER ) IT'S-- IT'S ( BLEEP ).
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) AAAGGHH!
AND SHE'S RIGHT!
IN THE WELLS FARGO ANNUAL REPORT, HE NOT ONLY SAID THAT
EIGHT RHYMED WITH GREAT.
HE ADDED THAT "PERHAPS OUR NEW CHEER SHOULD BE, 'LET'S GO
AGAIN, FOR TEN'."
NICE RHYMES, STRUMPF.
I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOUR CHILDREN'S BOOK: "ONE FISH, TWO FISH,
FRAUDULENT REVENUE FISH," BY THE AUTHOR OF "THE TAKING TREE."
NOW, THIS IS THE SORT OF STORY THAT COULD GIVE MULTINATIONAL
BANKS A BAD NAME.
SO YESTERDAY, WELLS FARGO ANNOUNCED THAT STRUMPF WOULD NOT
BE PAID A SALARY DURING THE BANK'S INVESTIGATION AND THAT
THEY WOULD BE GETTING $41 MILLION IN STOCK BACK FROM
STUMPF.
PLUS, CARRIE TOLSTEDT, THE SENIOR EXECUTIVE IN CHARGE OF
THE RETAIL DIVISION, HAD $19 MILLION IN COMPENSATION
TAKEN BACK FROM HER AND IS OUT OF THE COMPANY, DRAMATICALLY
CUTTING SHORT A CAREER THAT WOULD HAVE LASTED ALL THE WAY
UNTIL HER SCHEDULED RETIREMENT THIS YEAR.
POOR THING.
JUST TO MAKE ENDS MEET, SHE MAY HAVE TO TAKE ON SOME PART-TIME
FRAUD.
( LAUGHTER ) BUT IN CASE YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT
EITHER OF THESE PEOPLE, PLEASE, DO NOT FRET.
TOLSTEDT COULD WALK AWAY FROM WELLS FARGO WITH A TOTAL OF
$77 MILLION AND STUMPF WITH $200 MILLION IN CASH
( BOOING ) THAT'S HOW YOU TEACH THAT WHITE-
COLLAR CRIME DOES NOT PAY.
IT'S LIKE WHEN COPS CATCH BURGLARS IN THE ACT OF ROBBING
YOUR HOUSE AND SAY, "PUT DOWN THAT TV, BUDDY!
NOW HERE'S $200 MILLION DOLLARS."
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK