welcome to this video on perspective taking this is part of the cognitive
behavioral therapy nuggets series and i am your host dr dawn elise snipes
in this series we're talking about different tools and techniques we can use to deal with
the stress in order to more effectively use our energy to move towards a rich and meaningful life
and sometimes it's hard to understand exactly why we reacted the way we did why we did what
we did or why others reacted the way they did and perspective taking can help us look at the bigger
picture get away from that tunnel vision and recognize all of the factors that may have played
into it so we have a deeper understanding of what happened so we can figure out how to address it
when we talk about perspective taking there are four p's that we're going to talk about
predisposing what were the background factors that contributed to my behavior or this other person's
behavior you know what was going on maybe you know let's talk about somebody who is a grown-up and
a dog runs up to them and they have an absolute panic attack okay what were the background factors
that led up to that well maybe this adult was attacked by a dog when they were a child
so now they have a intense fear of dogs which explains why they reacted
so strongly to this you know assumingly uh very lovely but very excitable dog
it's important to understand historical context what what situations have you been in or has the
person been in that were similar to this one in the past because prior situations that we're in
that are similar teach us what to expect in probably expect in future situations it
doesn't mean it will always happen for people for example who get into a bad relationship
and then they get out of it and they get into another relationship those two relationships
are different they're the same in fact in terms of the fact that they're relationships
but they're different but the background factors now that this person's been through a unhealthy
relationship that may impact how they perceive and react to things in this present relationship and
it's important to recognize that personal traits are another thing that may predispose someone to
react one way or another to a certain situation some people are more high strung some people
are more laid back and transference is yet another factor and that kind of goes along with historical
transference is when we take our feelings and thoughts about someone from our past and project
them put them on somebody in our present who reminds us of somebody in our past so
if i see somebody that reminds me of my first love i may project all kinds of positive qualities onto
this person if i see somebody that reminds me of my biggest nemesis from high school i may project
negative qualities onto that person and that person has i have no idea who that
person is but they reminded me of somebody from my past i see them so i have almost
automatic expectations and it's important to recognize that our expectations can be wrong
they inform us to a certain point but it's also important to recognize okay you know in the past
when i've experienced something like this this is how it's gone and this is how i've had to react
in the present in what ways is this situation similar to and different to that
prior experience and what what do i need to know okay so predisposing factors include you
know your experiences your learning experiences up until that point and your personal traits
or that person's personal traits precipitating factors those are more things that are going on in
the present vulnerabilities and contextual factors that precipitated the reaction vulnerabilities
are things that make us more likely to respond strongly to a situation if i don't have enough
sleep if i'm in pain if i don't feel well all of those things maybe may make me more vulnerable
to reacting strongly and negatively to something that may not deserve that strong of a reaction
so it's important to recognize vulnerabilities in people's behavior whether it's how you're reacting
or how someone else is reacting and contextual factors may also contribute to vulnerabilities if
you know you're in a noisy sports bar and somebody drops a dish you may not think too much about it
and it may not startle you if you are in a library and somebody drops something really loudly it may
really shock you and trigger a much different reaction so it's important to consider you know in
what ways did the context of what happened impact this person's reaction or impact my reaction in
what ways did vulnerabilities potentially impact my reaction or this other person's
reaction in this situation so predisposing those are historical things precipitating
those are things in the present that may have um contributed to the reaction provocations
now this is when you really look in yourself and say in what way might i have inadvertently
provoked this behavior whether somebody was irritable with you or
dismissive of you or you know obviously if you're having a great relationship you're probably
not going to be going through the four p's so something unpleasant happened in what ways might i
have inadvertently provoked the behavior maybe you were dismissive maybe your non-verbals were very
hostile thinking about your part in it one of the things that i teach a lot of people is that when
we're blaming somebody else when you're pointing a finger at other people two fingers are pointing
at them and three are pointing back at you so what was your part in creating the ultimate situation
and plans did the person have good intentions sometimes people do things and they don't turn
out right sometimes they do things with the best of intentions and it rubs you the wrong way so
it's important to think did the person have good intentions and there was a book and i'm trying
to think of the name of it right now just for you by little critter it's a little kid's book
but it talks about um plans for example little critter wanted to do things nice for his mom
but every time he tried he just you know didn't follow through and you know he had good intentions
but it never quite worked out right and his mother was always you know feeling frustrated
and so it's important to really look did the person really have good intentions and you know
what what is the big picture the big picture is so important in order to avoid uh miscommunication
and misunderstandings so predisposing factors what factors inherent in the person
precipitating factors you know what's going on right now that may have made them more irritable
more judgmental more suspicious provocations in what way might i have inadvertently
provoked this behavior or caused this behavior and ultimately did the person have good intentions and
you can apply that to yourself or you can apply it to other people but it helps you many times
develop a greater sense of compassion and empathy when you start looking at the bigger picture