Hey, it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be if you wanna create
a business and life you love.
And this is Q&A Tuesday.
And today’s question comes from Spencer and Spencer writes:
“Hi Marie.
I’m a 16 year old boy and though I know I’m not part of your typical demographic,
I absolutely love your advice and videos.
Here’s my problem.
I’m enthusiastic and ambitious but lately I’ve been stuck in this negative mindset
due to the fact that I never get anything done.
I love trying new things and going out of my comfort zone, but I never follow through.
I get extremely motivated to start something as if my life is gonna change and I’m gonna
become a new person, but the excitement dies and eventually I lose interest.
This has become such a problem that it’s affecting my confidence.
I’ve stopped feeling like I can accomplish anything and also stopped trying new things.
How can I follow through with something I’ve started without losing interest?
Thanks, Spencer.”
Great question Spencer and, by the way, I am so honored that you love and that you watch
MarieTV.
Just so you know, people of all age groups from 193 countries around the world watch
MarieTV, so you are in good company.
So here’s the thing, Spence.
By the way, can I call you Spence?
You don't have a problem, young man, you have a gift.
And you haven't been taught yet how to fully leverage it.
Here’s the thing, you are creative, you’re a risk taker, you love life, you’re ambitious.
Those are all beautiful things.
I suspect you may be a little bit like me, someone who’s multipassionate.
So you get very excited about life and at times you can feel a little ADD.
Now, here’s the thing, the world’s greatest artists and thinkers and entrepreneurs also
share this gift, so I want you to be grateful that you have it.
Now, this gift you have, which is really a strength, also has its dark side too, which
you’re experiencing right now and I can really relate to this because I’ve been
frustrated in the same exact way.
The good news is I have a lot to say on this topic and I really think we can help you,
so let’s dive right in.
First thing I wanna talk about is permission to dabble.
So wandering time, playtime, just checking things out.
That’s not always a bad thing.
You have to understand that dabbling around can fuel your creativity, it can really feed
your soul.
I understand that you wanna learn how to follow through, and we will get to that, but I want
to make sure that you don't lose this miraculous sense of curiosity that you have because it’s
really important.
And to help you remember, here’s a little PSA from the armed forces.
You heard Private Jams, clarity comes from engagement not thought and you do have permission
to dabble.
So here’s the thing Spence, you’ve just got to set up some clear dabble time.
Meaning you get to try out all kinds of things and you’re not gonna pressure yourself to
follow through.
So remember this, if it’s dabble time you have permission to dabble.
Next I want you to crank your cog con, which is not to be confused with shake your bon
bon.
Cog con is just a Marieified way of saying your cognitive control, your ability to manage
your attention.
Now, researchers have found that this singular mental ability predicts success and happiness
in school, work, and life.
Now, here’s the thing Spence, at 16 years old it’s probably true that your cognitive
control is not as strong as it’s gonna be in a few years.
But here’s the thing, you do not have to wait around for this thing to naturally get
better.
There are three steps that you can take that’ll not only crank your cog con but it’ll help
you build focus habits that’ll serve you for life.
Step one is meditate on the daily.
So Dr. Adam Gazali from the University of California calls meditation a cognitive control
exercise that enhances our ability to self regulate internal distractions.
While you’re free to find your own practice, 10 minutes a day for me works miracles.
Step number two is define completion.
So Spencer, once you’ve had dabble time and you figure out you really wanna move to
completion on a project, you have to define exactly what that looks like.
So, for example, let’s say you want to learn how to animate.
So would completion be being able to animate a full length feature for Pixar films?
Probably not.
You might wanna set completion as something like being able to animate a one minute video
that you can upload and show your friends.
When you define what completion looks like in advance, you make following through a lot
more attainable.
Step number three, you wanna practice wearing blinders.
So they often put blinders on racehorses to help them stay focused and not get distracted.
And we human beings can do the same thing for ourselves.
You have to train yourself to have a one track mind.
And it’s easier said than done but here’s the thing, if you find yourself getting distracted
and wanting to jump over to another project, I want you to let this question be your guide
and your blinders.
“Is what I’m doing right now moving me towards completion?”
Finally a little bonus on follow through.
Now, if you haven’t seen our other episode all about following through, you should really
watch it because it’s awesome.
Ok Spence, let’s wrap this up with a Tweetable.
“Creative success means balancing your love of starting things with a habit of finishing
them.”
I know you can do this, Spencer, so please keep us posted.
Now I would love to hear from you.
What’s the single biggest follow through insight that you’re taking away from this
episode?
Or, conversely, if you have struggled with follow through and you’ve been able to overcome
it, what’s the single biggest strategy that’s really helped you?
As always, the best discussions happen after the episode over at MarieForleo.com, so go
there and leave a comment now.
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Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams because the world needs that special
gift that only you have.
Thank you so much for watching and I’ll catch you next time
on MarieTV.