This whole hand is still numb.
Okay, let us know what naughty places
you've put your sticky fingers in the comments.
And cut. Good show, guys. Ryan, you were off key.
When I speak?
Ahh, pitchy.
Yes. I just got an audition
for a Shepland car dealership commercial.
Why are you auditioning for a local car dealership commercial
when you're Comedy Central? Digital?
No small parts. Just small purple.
That is wrong.
Hmm, it's scripted but it says they encourage improv.
Okay. So I'm a car dealer and I love slashing prices.
Okay, best friends listen to this:
"We take high prices and gut them like fish."
Maybe something more family friendly.
Right. Kids don't like fish.
"We gut prices like little baby bunnies."
No!
I feel like this isn't constructive.
All right, this is ridiculous.
Where's Natasha, she's not responding to my emails.
She's been off running her audition all day.
She's obsessed.
Yeah, I don't usually like think about other people
but I'm worried she's way too into this role.
What do you mean?
Oh, hello.
Might you be looking to buy a car at a low, low price.
I sure hope so because at Shepland
we make prices bleed out.
Natasha, I think maybe you've been improvising
a little bit too long, all right,
so why don't you put the knife down, okay.
Oh, this thing. Yeah.
Put it down?
Yeah.
Dudes, you gotta check out the Street Fair outside.
Jordan, it's not the best time.
Peep these bomb ass shades.
Haaaa! Ahhh! What the ...?
Ha ha ha, you think you're so cool, Mr. Dollar Sign.
Is that a knife? I can't see.
You know what I do to prices like you?
She's way too deep into character.
I'm gonna slice up the belly of this unreasonable price
and let all the coins spill out of his money tummy.
She can't slice me, my face is my money maker.
Is that why you as poor as you are ugly?
That's funny.
Sick burn, dude, but it is not the time.
Wait, if Jordan dies we have to do his work.
Ahh! It's okay.
It's okay.
Mrs. Price Slasher, I know you're mad.
Very mad.
Some things in this world aren't fair,
like when you get charged for things you shouldn't.
Like when you have to pay extra for guac.
Or having to pay for PornHub Premium.
Or having to tip.
Ew. Come on.
It's not a thing in Europe.
Okay, but even if you slash this one price,
what about the other millions of high prices out there?
I don't know. I ...
Mrs. Price Slasher, you have a family.
She does? I do.
A knife daughter and two shiv sons.
Think about them, they need you.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
And scene. That was great. Wish me luck.
What the ... was that?
That means she was acting. She good.
So come on down to Shepland Car Dealership
where we make prices bleed out.
Okay. Maybe the next one is closer to the script.
I feel like that's compromising my vision.
And I won't do that in front of my children.
Momma loves you.