Your life will be blessed
when you remove the people
who do not belong in it.
So, you've got to learn
not everyone you cross paths with
needs to stay on that path with you.
Not everyone that you've entertained
needs to remain in your life.
You've got to learn how to cut people off
and I'm going to give you five ways
to make your cut off game strong.
My name is Stephan Labossiere
aka Stephan Speaks
back with another
dating and relationship advise video.
Today's video is for men and women, all right.
We're talking about the five ways
to make your cut off game strong.
As always before we begin be
sure to like this video, share it,
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and hit that notification button.
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So, make that happen, all right.
So, now listen, cutting people off,
it's got to happen sometimes.
No way around it
everyone does not belong
or deserve to remain in your life.
But I understand that a lot of people
a lot of you
struggle in that area.
Some of you have been like, hell no, I'm good.
I have no problem cutting people off
awesome, all right.
Still watch the whole video, but awesome.
I understand it is normal.
It's not something to be ashamed of
if you struggle with letting go.
But I want to help you with understanding,
how you can work through that
and how you can improve in that
area so that you don't allow
the wrong people to linger
longer than they should, all right.
So, it's important
to learn how to get this
method of cutting people off
as quickly as possible, but efficiently.
There's a right way to do it.
So, let's get to it, number one,
address the issue
that you're going to cut them off about.
Now, some of you all might be thinking
hell no, why do we need to talk to them,
why do we need to address it?
I want you to understand something.
Addressing the issue
is for a couple reasons.
Number one, yes, there's always
a possibility that what you are interpreting
as offense on that end,
maybe a misunderstanding,
maybe a mistake,
and simply by talking about these things,
it may be corrected,
and you guys get into the same page.
So, their bad action
initially isn't always evidence of
they're a bad person.
Yes, there are some things that are just
you just got to cut them off.
So, it's going to be some exceptions to this rule
but I do think that in many situations that we go through,
we can talk about it first and address it.
But here is the other huge reason
why addressing it is
so powerful believe it or not
in making your cut off game strong.
Is because one of the things that
causes us to struggle
with letting people go or
keeping the door shut on people
is the lingering questions in our head.
Well, maybe if we would have talked them more,
maybe it didn't mean it like that
or we start analyzing all these things because
we didn't get those questions
answered by simply
addressing it and talking to them.
So, we leave the door open
for thinking maybe we can
give them another chance.
And here's the tricky thing
about giving chances.
Every time you let someone back in
it can get harder to push
them back out, all right.
If you notice with people
when they fall into that cycle
of giving a chance is you did not just once,
it ends up to two chances, three chances,
it gets harder and harder.
The person lingers longer and longer.
And so now, someone
who should have been
and could have been gone after the first time,
is still a around two three years later.
And what you'll notice is again,
it was never properly addressed.
So, addressing the issue
actually accelerates our ability to remove those
who do not belong,
and to give us more clear cut answers
on lingering questions that could have
opened the door back up for them.
So, it's a very good thing
for your own peace of mind,
for your strength to walk away,
and again,
and then the chance that sometimes
it's actually correctable issue.
So, addressing the issue
first way to improve your cut off game.
Second thing
after we've now addressed the issue
and we've cut them off hopefully
is acknowledging that they weren't best for you.
So, whether it is the friendship
or romantic relationship,
you know, we have to be able to say to ourselves
this is why you don't belong in our lives.
This is what the issue is
because what happens
and lets just use romantic relationship for a second.
It's really hard
to let go and keep them out
when all you keep telling yourself is, but I love them,
but they did is good,
but there was these good things.
We're not really acknowledging
why they're not best for us.
We're not acknowledging why they should remain.
We're choosing to dwell on
these good memories and all these other things that
only make it harder
for us to keep them out.
And to stay detached from them.
And even like,
you'll come across them on social media
and sometimes
even though you may have a negative thought at first,
you then drift to this positive well,
I did enjoy that time we went out.
I enjoyed this like, you got to stop doing that.
Acknowledge why they're not best for you, and that’s it.
Don't go diving in the pool of happy memories.
That's a set up for disaster every single time.
You got to learn how to just, it is what it is,
they're not best, they don't belong,
we move forward.
So, learn how to stay there
and move on,
not going to the mindset of positivity
that can really trick you
and cause you to fall into their trap.
Which now brings me to number three
and notice I said a number two when
you come across them on social media
so, number three is remove the reminders.
So listen,
sometimes you got to delete the text messages,
delete the phone number,
unfollow on social media,
remove the pictures,
anything that reminds you of this individual
get rid of it.
Now listen, a day may come
where you can handle seeing these things
and it doesn't trigger you,
it doesn't cause you to want to let them back in,
but the initially, especially initially,
where you trying to cut someone off
who doesn't belong in your life.
Having to see them
only causes a bigger struggle.
So, you have to be honest with yourself
about what you can handle.
And how those reminders
again, social media, pictures,
old text messages, any of these things
are going to cause you to stumble.
You have to remove them all.
And I understand that sometimes there is a fear
of that complete release and letting go.
But this is why if you addressed it,
if you acknowledge that they're not best for you,
letting go completely gets easier.
I'm not going to say it's easy,
but it gets easier, all right.
And some of the other things I'm going to mention on this list,
will help strengthen you
with this step of removing
all the reminders.
Don't allow yourself to be set up back for failure,
by having to see things
that's only going to draw you closer
to wanting to let them back in.
And it's normal.
It happens to so many people.
So, there's nothing wrong with you
that you even go to that emotion
when you see them,
because we... You know, it depending on
where you are like, at that time,
maybe you are feeling lonely,
you're vulnerable,
it's very easy to want to let them back in
despite them not being good for you,
despite them being toxic.
But you've got to stand your ground.
So, remove all the reminders
keep that cut off game strong.
Number four
is focus on you
and focus on being productive.
Again, in all my years of coaching
one of things I have noticed with people is that,
when they go through, whether be a breakup
or having to let go of someone,
they're very consumed by the
parts of the situation.
They're very consumed by the person
and in a lot of situations
they’re not being productive in their life.
They're dragging their feet.
They're not focused on them anymore, all right.
They may seek out distractions.
But notice I didn't say go distract yourself.
I said focus on you
and being productive.
Now, productive I want to make clear
isn't productive with distractions.
Productive is with things are going to
to enhance you,
enhance your life, grow you as an individual.
That's going to help you accomplish
things that you need to accomplish.
That's how I want to be productive.
When you shift your focus
on to these things and yourself,
you will allow yourself greater strength
to resist the temptation of
letting that person back in, all right.
Not to mention that
as you grow as an individual
your evolution as a person
is going to strengthen you in understanding
why you should not let them back in.
And if you include healing,
which you should,
in your productivity,
in your focus of self,
then you will definitely
allow yourself to have what you need
to not just only
fall back into the trap of that person,
but to fall back into any negative cycle
with anybody else in the future.
Because many individuals
cut off one toxic person,
just to let a new toxic to person in their life.
Leave one bad relationship
to jump into a new bad relationship.
Why? Because they missed the step of healing.
They missed a step of focusing on self.
Now, I wasn't going to bring it up but
it's just perfect timing.
it will give you the exact steps to healing,
tell you exactly what you need to do.
So many people
are having their lives changed by this,
you know it's like having a coaching session in the book.
So, I highly encourage you
click the link in the description or on the comment section,
or go to loveafterheartbreak.com,
but bottom line is
you got to heal, you got a focus on you,
you got to focus on that self-love,
you got to focus on being comfortable,
being by yourself.
All these things will strengthen you
in your ability to move forward
and not let the wrong people back in.
Or not allow the wrong people
to linger along in your life.
And now, the last thing,
the last one and for some of you this may not apply
depending on where your belief system is,
but the last thing is talk to God.
Yes,
God will help you cut off game be strong, okay.
And the reason why
is because
when you can say you have gone to God in prayer
and you ask God, because that is what you should do.
Ask God if this person should remain in your life.
And you feel you're being told
within your spirit this person needs to go.
It gives you an extra layer of conviction.
It gives you that extra layer of
that kick in the butt that you might need
to remind you
that they don't belong.
Now, it doesn't mean 100%
that once you feel like God is saying it to you
that you won't fall into the trap,
because plenty of people
will tell you
they've felt God say,
don't deal with this person and they still did it.
Hell, there are people who will tell you
that God told them not to marry this person
and they still did it.
I hope and pray that's not you,
or it doesn't happen to you moving forward,
but it does happen, but the point is
we're trying to strengthen
your cut off game.
We're trying to strengthen your ability
to remove people and keep them out.
So yes,
going to God, talking to God,
letting Him speak to your spirit
will at least give you more strength,
and allow you to move in a better direction
and on a better path.
Because ultimately listen,
the reason why it's so important
to make that cut off game strong
is because, more people
the wrong people linger in our lives,
it can block our blessings.
It can derail our paths.
It can derail our purpose.
It can set us up for unnecessary drama
that you don't need to be going through.
And so, it can also delay the process
of you receiving what you're
supposed to be receiving.
I don't want you thinking that you can just leave
however you want willingly.
Do whatever and it is never going to stop you
from receiving what God has for you,
that's simply not true.
We got decisions to make.
We got to take the right path.
And yes, keeping the wrong people around
is going to throw things off.
And again, I know none of are perfect.
I'm sure I've had
the wrong person in my life
many times you know in different ways, okay.
The point is not to beat yourself up
if you already allowed somebody to linger.
Hell, it's not to beat yourself up if somebody is in your life right now
who doesn't belong.
It is just to recognize that they need to go, all right.
And recognize that this time
people don't need to stay going forward
and what we now need to do
to ensure we're better
and not falling into this trap.
We're better at handling the situation
the way it needs to be handled.
Hey, thank you for watching this video,
be sure to check this one out right here
and I'll see you there.
When you're deeply into that man
I always say the man she loves most
has the least room for error.
And so, I've seen situations where
women are willing to go back to the toxic,
unhealthy relationship or to the man who....