- Heya Playa!
Let's say you talk to your crush regularly.
The two of you get along and you're ready to ask them out.
But is it too soon, should you wait longer?
When is the right time to ask out a crush that you have.
I'm gonna share my answer with you right after this.
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Now we could just give you the short answer which is
it really all all depends on how well you know them.
But I do wanna explain that a little bit more
so that when you do finally ask them out
you don't feel like it's too soon
because you feeling like you're ready
to ask them out then feeling like
they're ready to be asked out need to sync up.
What I've noticed is that your personality
plays a huge role in how soon or how late
you should ask them out.
For example, if you're a shy and timid guy
maybe you talk to your crush every so often
and the conversations are just very very safe
and normal and there isn't a lot of flirting going on.
Well then yeah, it's actually gonna take you longer
to get to that comfortable spot when you can ask them out
because you haven't really shown them any kind
of romantic side of you.
You've only shown them the friend side
and there needs to be a balance of both
in order for them to feel comfortable
with you asking them out.
But if you're the type of guy
that is confident and outgoing
every time you interact with your crush,
you flirt with them, you tease them,
you talk to them a lot, you show that initiative
well then yeah, you can ask them out
a lot sooner than expected simply because
they're already getting to know all rounds of you.
They're starting to see that you're
the kind of person that's gonna be forward
in making any kind of initiative here.
And that's attractive.
That's kind of what your crush is gonna wanna see from you.
And honestly I would say this goes for girls
that wanna ask out guys too.
A lot of times girls wanna wait
and have the guy ask them out.
But if you're the person with the crush
then it's on you to act on that crush.
You can put all the signals that you can,
you can kind of drop hints whenever you want to
but at the end of the day if you want something to happen
it's best for you to make it happen.
Does conversation flow between the two of you easily?
Can you guys just talk naturally
or are there a lot of awkward silences,
awkward pauses or just moments where
you just don't know what to say to them
and both of you just kind of wanna distance
yourself from the situation?
The second checkbox is that physical presence
in the air when you're around them.
Can you make eye contact with them?
Can you smile at them?
Do you guys have some kind of playful touching
where you can put your arm on their shoulder,
you can maybe put your arm around them
or they grab your arm from time to time?
If you have that physicality that's definitely
gonna make it a lot easier for you to segue
into asking them out.
And third, do you know enough about them?
Now look, you don't need to know every single detail
about your crush to ask them out.
In fact, asking them out is a way to get to know
every detail and learn more about them.
But you should know enough about their personality,
about their interests, about their hobbies,
the things that they like and the things that they don't
so you're not just jumping into a situation
where you're only evaluating it based on looks
because sometimes it's easy to approach a girl
or approach a guy that we like based on looks.
But knowing more about who they are as a person
is really gonna help you make a better judgment call
when it comes to asking them out
because you might be able to find plans
that the two of you can share that caters
to both yours and their personality.
It isn't something that you just want to do
that they're just tagging along on the ride for.
For example if you talk to your crush
and they tell you that they love romantic comedies
and animated films, they don't really care much for horror
don't invite them to a horror movie.
Like I said in earlier videos this week
especially my date ideas video,
the whole point of inviting them out
is to get to know them better.
So you wanna find something that the two of you can do
where the two of you can open up
and share things with each other.
Remember asking that person out isn't just to be
boyfriend and girlfriend.
It really is to kind of build a path with each other.
And the only way you're gonna do that
is by getting to know them first.
So take a little bit of time before you ask them out
to learn about their personality.
If you just ask them straight out
look it might potentially work.
Sometimes it does work for guys or girls
that just straight out ask out their crush.
But I think you have a way better chance
of making something happen and developing
something in the future if you invest the time
early on to get to know them.
Look, I've seen guys walk up to girls
that they didn't know at all, tell 'em,
"Hey, you're hot. Let me get your number,"
and girls actually give it to those guys.
Now look, depending on whatever those guys'
goals were that's that.
But I can't really say that's gonna be
a blossoming relationship.
That doesn't seem like the basis for something
that's strong and built on just really
getting to know each other better.
It just seems built on attraction
so if that's all you have going for you and your crush
I would say add a little bit more to the mix
because if attraction is the only thing that's there
and it's just based on physical looks,
well then where are you actually heading
with that relationship?
But I know deep down you want hard numbers to work with
so here they are.
If you've had at least three conversations
with your crush that go longer than five minutes,
that could be online, that could be in person,
but they're deep meaningful conversations
where the two of you are talking about
your interests or hobbies,
that's something to look for.
If you guys make eye contact periodically
for longer than 15 seconds at a time
and what that basically means is in a conversation
the two of you look at each other
without one person awkwardly looking away
it's just a deep, meaningful soul exchanging gaze
then yeah, that's something to look for.
And I think most importantly
every single time you interact with them
you want there to be a bit of flirting
and teasing going on.
You want them to be excited about
their interactions with you.
Not to look at it like another hey how's it going
type of conversation.
Now most likely a bunch of you are gonna
fall somewhere in the middle,
either you haven't done that at all
or you've done only a few of those things.
So I would encourage you to take the next step.
Work towards getting to know your crush better.
Work towards flirting with them.
Work towards making eye contact
and really getting to know them.
That's how you're gonna feel confident
in asking them out.
You already have what it takes to be somebody great.
Now you just gotta put it forward.
Now guys what I want you to do is to tap on the video
right on the side to learn more about hanging out
versus dating someone.
That's a video I did earlier in the week
that I think would be super helpful.
If you've already watched it, re-watch it.
Learn those principles and get ready to ask your crush out.
On that note guys, I'll catch you next week.
As always love and peace.