You know, after I made the first "Cheesy English" video,
I felt like that topic was finished, and I didn't need to say anything more about it.
But a few months after that, I found there were a few more cheesy phrases and structures that I should fix,
so I made the second Cheesy English video.
And after that I once again felt sure that Cheesy English was done,
but in the past six months I've come across yet a few more cheesy phrases,
so now I've got no choice other than to make Cheesy English 3.
I often don't know what Vietnamese people eat, because when I ask,
for example, I often get answers . . .
rather lacking in information.
Do you know what native speakers picture when you say "I had rice for lunch?"
They picture that you had a bowl of plain rice.
Same goes for "I had noodles" and "I had bread."
From a Westerner's perspective, the rice, the noodles, or the bread aren't the main dishes,
but are just something on the side that we eat in order to feel full.
If I ate a noodle dish, I'd say the whole name of that dish:
If I had "bread":
And if I had a traditional Vietnamese meal of "rice," I'd say:
The mistake you guys make with the word "worker" is similar to the previous mistake,
in that you typically use it in a way that doesn't include enough information.
I'll often ask a student,
for example, and they answer,
Back when I didn't know much about Vietnamese, I felt really confused by that answer,
and naturally wanted to ask,
I now know that what those people mean is "Anh ấy làm công nhân,"
but in English, anyone who works can be called "a worker,"
so the word "worker" usually needs to have another word come before it as a modifier.
For example, "công nhân nhà máy" are called "factory workers."
Or here, we have "farm workers."
Or in the case of prostitutes, we have the euphemism "sex workers."
When learning a foreign language, everyone has moments when they use too many words or too few,
but aside from that, there are also moments when we inadvertently speak impolitely.
(You're not going to get the joke here if you don't understand Vietnamese culture and modes of expression. Sorry. It's not really that funny, anyway.)
Vietnamese people often have that problem when using "of course."
For example, one time a student of mine told me he knew how to drive a car,
so, naturally, I asked,
and he answered,
Or another time, when I was doing placement testing, I asked a guy who was about 22 years old,
and he also answered,
What the hell?
I don't really know why those two guys, and lots of other people, use "of course" like that,
because just like "tất nhiên" and "đương nhiên" in Vietnamese,
"of course" can carry a meaning kind of like:
"Yes, and you ought to have know that already, dumbass."
Perhaps you guys use "of course" a bit too much due to your habit of using "có chứ" in Vietnamese.
And a lot of times "có chứ" doesn't really mean "Oh, you should have known that, what the hell are you asking for?"
but instead just emphasizes the thing you're affirming, for example,
"Do you have kids?"
Hell yeah! Seven of them.
But in that situation, instead of using "of course,"
you should emphasize your affirmation using another phrase, like "I sure do."
Or just emphasize through your tone and body language:
And just use "of course" when you get asked something truly obvious:
"And did you have those kids by way of doing the horizontal tango?"
In the two previous videos, I chose not to talk about this phrase,
because at the time I felt like it was only primary school students who actually said it.
But recently I've encountered a lot of adults, too, who say,
so I feel like I need to correct it.
And even if you don't use that phrase anymore, I still want to explain to you just how unnatural it is.
It's unnatural in three distinct places.
The most unnatural part is the "thank you."
Thanking someone for asking "How are you?"
No. It sounds too formal.
I might say that when meeting someone truly important, like a new boss, or the president . . .
But with friends, coworkers, or teachers, we don't say thanks for that.
The second unnatural part is the word "fine."
There are times I use it when answering "How are you?"
but it's usually when I feel like the person asking doesn't really care, for example:
But when they ask genuinely:
I'll say:
Or :
Or if I just feel okay, then I'll say:
Or :
And note the intonation there. Don't say:
But instead:
So we've gotten rid of the "thank you," and we've changed "I'm fine" to "I'm all right."
And what about this "And you?" bit?
That one also sounds too formal.
In this case, most native speakers would just repeat the question "How are you?"
Or another common question is:
And one really short question, which you should only use with familiar people, is "Yourself?"
So now you guys know a few more natural greetings and responses.
And if you happen to be a primary school teacher, or if you have kids that age,
then please don't teach those kids to react to the question "How are you?" like a bunch of robots.
I've heard that Vietnamese students are usually afraid to voice their opinions in class,
but in my experience, they're totally ready to do so in English classes.
But one problem is that in writing assignments, they often express their opinions in the following form:
Or :
I know you guys often write like that in Vietnamese—
—but in English that structure feels a bit goofy.
You guys should just write,
(Vietnamese people write these as crying sounds.)
Ok, I'm going to follow tradition here.
Both of the previous Cheesy English videos finished with things that appear in your guys' text messages,
so I guess this one should finish the same way.
When you guys encounter sad situations, you often write "hu hu" or "hic hic" in your messages.
For example:
Or :
Where I'm from, no one writes that.
Especially this "hic hic" thing.
In America, that's not the sound of crying, but of hiccuping.
In English, the sound of crying is "boo hoo."
Or it can also be "waaaaa."
But it's even better if you guys don't write any crying sounds at all.
To Westerners like me, it seems really childish.
It's best if you just write:
Okay, I've got to stop here.
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