Coffee? Yeah, I like coffee. It's really good. You know, it doesn't affect me though. But when Roni drinks it? Oh.
It changes everything.
Coffee? Oh, I love coffee. Oh, thank you. It's so good.
Mmm.
Every time I see her turn on the Keurig, I hide. Yep, I hide.
That coffee is Dark Magic.
No, I mean, that's, it's Dark Magic. That's her favorite flavor.
You know, it really helps with a lot of things. I've looked up scientific facts about coffee, and there's a lot of health benefits.
She says it's a proven fact that when you smell coffee,
that's all you can think about. It makes you forget all the stresses in life for that one second.
I don't even think that's true. Like, I think she read that off of Pinterest.
Coffee doesn't ask silly questions.
Coffee
understands.
After she takes the first sip of her coffee, she goes through five different stages. Coffee gives me a little more energy.
I like to think that it makes me a more funner person.
Yes, I know that's not a word.
At first, she's normal and happy because she has her coffee.
Then a switch turns on, and she cannot stop laughing. She laughs at everything. I recorded a video once and tweeted about it.
It was actually kind of funny. She said that? I don't laugh at everything. Oh, there's a video?
Of me laughing? What happened?
In her third stage, she cannot sit still.
I'll admit that I do like to dance when I have the energy. I just get in the zone,
you know? She usually ends up dancing to 70s and 80s music, and she does this one dance move.
You know, I don't even know what to call it. It's like her go-to dance move. It's,
ugh.
I feel the music. Who cares if it's from the 70s or 80s? When in doubt, dance it out.
She says that's how you get boys in the club. Okay,
first of all,
we don't go clubbing. Second of all, that dance is going to get boys you don't want.
This is how I get boys.
The fourth stage is non-stop talking.
She can't stop talking.
Sometimes, I just have a lot to say. When I'm doing my homework,
I can't even focus because she's blabbing away about how much she loves Joe. Ugh.
You know, Joe.
Another name for coffee.
What's not to love? In the last stage, she becomes very quiet and very,
very focused. So focused to the point if I ask her a question, I don't even know what she says to me.
Hey Roni, what'd you get for question number three? *unintelligible sounds*
Okay.
Then, everyone tells me to be quiet.
You know, telling me to be quiet is like telling a beaver to stop building its home. It hurts.
Honestly, I have no clue what I just said, but it came from the heart.
I blame my parents. Ever since they got us the Keurig for Christmas,
she's gone crazy every time she drinks coffee. I don't know why Nessa's complaining.
I've been drinking coffee this whole entire time, and it hasn't affected me at all. See? I'm completely normal.
See? She's crazy.
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