MALE SPEAKER: I can't believe it!
Owen Wilson.
OWEN WILSON: How are you doing?
MALE SPEAKER: Vince Vaughn.
VINCE VAUGHN: How are you?
Come on, baby.
The hottest comedy duo there is.
The heat from you guys. "Wedding Crashers," enormous.
What I'm trying to do is to get you guys as the red hot
duo in a new movie.
What do you think?
You like this idea?
OWEN WILSON: Yeah.
That makes sense.
MALE SPEAKER: Mm-hm.
Vin?
VINCE VAUGHN: You have a good idea?
MALE SPEAKER: I've got a project for you
that you might love.
It's called "The Hobbit." Enjoy it.
Read it.
OWEN WILSON: "The Hobbit?"
MALE SPEAKER: "The Hobbit."
VINCE VAUGHN: I don't understand what
you're talking about.
MALE SPEAKER: OK, buddy comedy, right?
VINCE VAUGHN: It's not a buddy comedy.
I don't want to step on your feet here, but--
MALE SPEAKER: Wait, wait, hold up.
You don't want to step on what?
Hold on.
OWEN WILSON: It's--
MALE SPEAKER: So that's it.
So we've got our movie.
Do I just say green light it?
VINCE VAUGHN: No.
I'm not doing "The Hobbit."
MALE SPEAKER: Shawn, we'll call you back.
So not the "The Hobbit." Not "The Hobbit." But tell me why.
Is it because there's the tiny thing?
VINCE VAUGHN: Because I think I'm-- look, I'm a tall guy.
And hobbits are small.
And it doesn't make any sense.
OWEN WILSON: Oh, I guess somebody should let Eddie
Murphy know he can't play a Klump.
And he can't play the white guy in the barber shop scene
in "Coming to America."
MALE SPEAKER: And I would say Dustin Hoffman's not a woman.
But he played Tootsie.
You can do this, VV.
You know what I mean?
OWEN WILSON: He does raise a good point.
It's about dreaming.
That's what film's about.
VINCE VAUGHN: I understand, Owen, but--
OWEN WILSON: We let ourselves dream a little bit.
VINCE VAUGHN: It's not a buddy comedy for me and you.
OWEN WILSON: You know what hobbits have?
Heart.
MALE SPEAKER: Oh, god.
OWEN WILSON: This guy has heart.
MALE SPEAKER: Yeah, what about that?
OWEN WILSON: And he can play it.
MALE SPEAKER: So what about that?
Let your heart shine and become a tiny guy.
OWEN WILSON: I love the idea.
I love the idea of playing Gandalf.
But throw out some other ideas.
You're right, you're right.
MALE SPEAKER: We have an amazing-- you know what it is?
Maybe do a period piece, huh?
About a president.
About the president.
OWEN WILSON: Lincoln.
MALE SPEAKER: Ah!
OWEN WILSON: Guess who's from Illinois?
MALE SPEAKER: I can't imagine it's Vince Vaughn.
OWEN WILSON: Yeah.
MALE SPEAKER: No, man!
VINCE VAUGHN: I just don't think it's--
MALE SPEAKER: How about this?
OWEN WILSON: Can't say you're too big to play that.
MALE SPEAKER: Put this on for me.
Just for me.
VINCE VAUGHN: No.
MALE SPEAKER: Come on.
Oh!
Owen, do you feel that?
The officer just turned oval.
I feel like I'm staring at the president right now.
Just say four score.
OWEN WILSON: Although, how would that be a buddy movie?
MALE SPEAKER: Easy.
John Wilkes Booth, Abraham Lincoln.
VINCE VAUGHN: OK, John Wilkes Booth and Abraham Lincoln were
not buddies.
One was an assassin.
OWEN WILSON: No, no.
But they didn't--
it gives us an arc.
It gives us someplace to go to.
VINCE VAUGHN: They weren't buddies.
MALE SPEAKER: Um, OK, then we rewrite it, easily.
We make them roommates.
VINCE VAUGHN: John Wilkes Booth kills Lincoln.
It's not a buddy comedy.
MALE SPEAKER: Give me a little improv, maybe.
Maybe you guys live together.
Oh, give me some of that riff magic you guys do when like,
Vinny says like, sarcastic, but then Owen
goes, but I'm a hippie.
Like, give me some of that stuff, OK?
You're Abraham Lincoln.
You've got to smile for me, Vinny, Jesus Christ.
A tiny bit.
Use it.
That's great.
And then Owen, you're John Wilkes Booth.
Can you envision that?
Is that even possible?
OWEN WILSON: Yeah, let's try this one.
You know, I have a big date tonight.
And I need my lucky hat.
I can't find it.
It's this hat.
Where would it be?
VINCE VAUGHN: Yeah, he's your hat.
Here's your hat, roommate.
Take it.
OWEN WILSON: Here we go!
And, scene.
Yeah, OK, but now let me play Gandalf.
MALE SPEAKER: Right into it.
OWEN WILSON: Give me a better hat, though.
MALE SPEAKER: Gandalf, pop that on, see what happens.
OWEN WILSON: OK, put this on.
MALE SPEAKER: Go, go, go.
VINCE VAUGHN: You've gotta-- honestly.
OWEN WILSON: Give me a pipe, because I'm gonna smoke of
that buckshire weed.
MALE SPEAKER: Yeah, how about that?
OWEN WILSON: OK.
Oh.
MALE SPEAKER: Oh my god.
OWEN WILSON: Where's the little--
where's my little hobbit friend?
MALE SPEAKER: Yeah, talk like an old Jewish man.
That's good.
Good, good, good.
OWEN WILSON: Where's my little hobbit friend?
VINCE VAUGHN: Then Vinny, you enter as a hobbit.
OWEN WILSON: Oh, there he is.
That's the biggest hobbit I've ever seen.
What are you guys--
MALE SPEAKER: Vinny, yeah?
Should we just say yes to this, or no?
Just tell me, I'll put it on the speakerphone.
VINCE VAUGHN: I just don't know what we're doing here.
OWEN WILSON: Oh, god.
It's so exhausting to just try and just be tapdancing like
Fed Astaire and have this guy be like Dr. No.
You're nothing without your energy.
Your enthusiasm.
VINCE VAUGHN: I think that it's crazy.
I think it's crazy.
I think I'm wasting my day.
MALE SPEAKER: Crazy good?
VINCE VAUGHN: No.
MALE SPEAKER: Finish your sentences.
VINCE VAUGHN: Crazy terrible.
MALE SPEAKER: Crazy terrible, I know.
What about "48 Hours?"
VINCE VAUGHN: I love "48 Hours." We're not going to
remake "48 Hours."
MALE SPEAKER: Of course we're not, because we're going to
make our own original movie that has nothing to do with
that. "41 Hours."
VINCE VAUGHN: Is there a camera or something in here?
Like, is this a joke?
MALE SPEAKER: There is a camera right there.
But it's for my wife to make sure I'm not cheating on her.
It has nothing to do with filing you guys.
I wouldn't cheat on her.
VINCE VAUGHN: Do you have any original ideas?
MALE SPEAKER: I do.
VINCE VAUGHN: I love your enthusiasm.
I don't mean to be downer.
OWEN WILSON: Thank you.
VINCE VAUGHN: So far we have "The Hobbit," which I don't
think is a-- let's just refresh, not a buddy comedy.
OWEN WILSON: Take the dream, put it away.
VINCE VAUGHN: Lincoln.
Lincoln, Lincoln, Lincoln, with John Wilkes Booth.
Not a buddy comedy.
MALE SPEAKER: Not yet.
VINCE VAUGHN: Not ever.
MALE SPEAKER: We'll pass.
We'll pass.
VINCE VAUGHN: We'll pass.
And now we're talking about remaking "48 Hours," but
making it "42 Hours?"
MALE SPEAKER: Oh!
Did I already say that?
VINCE VAUGHN: Yeah.
MALE SPEAKER: Oh.
It's a great idea.
VINCE VAUGHN: No.
MALE SPEAKER: No, it isn't.
I'm kidding.
VINCE VAUGHN: OK.
So what we need is just some simple, kind of fun idea with
a fun world to go into comedy.
Now, I'm happy to hear an idea, but I've honestly got to
get out of here.
MALE SPEAKER: But there's no watch on you.
VINCE VAUGHN: I know there's not.
But I've got to get out of here.
MALE SPEAKER: Two friends.
VINCE VAUGHN: OK.
MALE SPEAKER: OK?
Already this is amazing, right?
That crash weddings.
OWEN WILSON: Let's go.
MALE SPEAKER: It was great to see you.
Thanks for coming in.
We'll just reschedule.
OK, is this a no, or loosely attached?
OWEN WILSON: Loosely attached.
MALE SPEAKER: Thank you, Owen.
I appreciate it.
Hey, Owen.
You know what?
I should throw this out the window.
Can I get my assistant to open the window next time?