Steve ahaz, the first question: how Can we know the difference between unhealthy repression and healthy self-restraint of sexuality?
well, i would say
You know, part of what-
Constitutes.. ethics, let's say
First of all, let's start- let's think about ethics to begin with, so what's the point of?
Conducting your life ethically? The answer that isn't so that you follow
The proper rules precisely.
The answer to that is so that you balance your life, so that it is
Productive and meaningful as it can possibly be and that would be productive and meaningful for you, with any luck but, also
For people around you. That would even be better and for you now, and next week and into the future
So, it's sort of a variation of the philosopher immanuel kant's moral
Dictum, which was act such that, your action becomes a moral
Universal something, like that although i think that it's it's better phrased
Across, time and across people like that
So, when you're thinking about an ethic that has to do with any fundamental motivation, like sexuality
You have to think about it in the context of the rest of your life
The question is whether or not?
But what did i say- what did i read at one point that i really liked with regards to sexuality
who's in control
That's the issue. Is it you or is it the sexuality that's in control?
Is- Have you integrated your
Sexual life into the rest of your life, so that the whole thing
Makes a harmonious balance? And are you in charge or, is it in charge so to speak, because
If you're not in charge with that harmonious balance, then things are going to waver wildly out of control
And you're going to find yourself in dreadful trouble
That happens whenever, any given drive or me really any given value
predominates to the exclusion of all else. Now-
It seems to me that, sexuality is best handled within the confines of a relationship
That's the classic ethical solution to the problem. It's because sexuality
Brings with it a tremendous amount of responsibility now
People don't like to think that. Especially people who i would say, are low In conscientiousness let's say or high and impulsivity
it's easy for people to believe in
What would you call it? Casual sex, which is not something that i think exists because i don't think you can divorce sex from its
sociological, or political, or economic, or psychological consequences and i would say
The endless scandals that have plagued
The United States in particular, in the last year, with regards to
Sexual behavior are proof positive that
There's no such thing as casual sex. I think the reason for that
Is that the consequences of sex are too dramatic.
It's not just pregnancy and disease let's say, which are both
As dramatic as consequences can be in life, but also the fact that
There's no disentangling sexual behavior from emotional behavior or maybe you could say
Even worse if you try to disentangle your sexual behavior from your emotional behavior then i think what happens
Is that you end up cold and cynical
I mean if you're- let's say, if you're a serial- if you're a
If you have a lot of one-night stands and a lot of casual partners then
First of all, there's not much discrimination between one partner and the other and so, in some sense you're in a loop
And and just repeating the same act over and over but, you can't
There's nothing deep about it there's nothing
that enables you to establish a relationship with another person and i think that that's a- I think that you corrupt your soul in
That way. And that, you hurt yourself across time and of course you're going to hurt other people as well
So i'm not a big admirer of the casual sex idea i think it's
A demented adolescents fantasy
Fundamentally. It just doesn't work out in the real world
Now, healthy self-restraint, well with regards to sexuality it's the same with everything else is that there's there's the necessity to
forego immediate gratification for the purpose of medium to long-term
Thriving -let's say- so if your sexuality is integrated in an ethic that encompasses the rest of your life
And if it serves that ethic, then i would say it's properly
Restrained. If it's unhealthily repressed, well then you're angry and bitter and resentful and
And, cursing the opposite sex or perhaps the same sex if you happen to be gay for
failing to recognize your particular form of sexual
What would you call? Attractiveness. i think resentment and anger are a good indication that there's something wrong with the manner in which your
Sexuality is restrained, so i hope hopefully that's a decent answer.