-Welcome, everybody.
Welcome, welcome, welcome to
"The Tonight Show."
You're here.
You're watching. Thank you.
[ Cheering and applause ]
You guys, we are just ten days away from Christmas.
[ Cheering and applause ]
That's right, just ten more days
and 900 more emails from Amazon.
[ Laughter ] Yeah, that's --
Let's get to some news.
Yesterday, former President Trump said
that he was going to make a "major announcement,"
and today he did exactly that.
And this is real. I'm not --
[ Laughter ] We did not make this.
We've not -- We did not do this.
This is a real thing. -Oh, boy.
-Here is Trump's major announcement. This is --
[ Suspenseful music plays ]
[ Laughter ]
[ Triumphant chorale plays ]
[ Laughter ]
[ Laughter, cheering, and applause ]
-Even the most diehard Trump supporters were like,
"Okay, now I'm worried, okay? This is --"
[ Laughter ]
Even the MyPillow guy was going,
"I think Trump's lost it, okay?"
[ Laughter ]
If you saw that at 2:00 am, would you be like,
"Am I having an Ambien dream?"
[ Laughter ]
You know your campaign isn't going well
when your reelection strategy is --
[ As Trump ] Maybe people will like me as a Pokémon.
[ Laughter ] Trump was like --
[ As Trump ] These cards are like classified documents.
You got to catch them all.
[ Laughter ]
Well get this -- today in Washington,
a disciplinary council called
for Rudy Giuliani to be disbarred.
[ Oohs, cheering, and applause ]
Rudy was like -- Rudy was like --
[ As Giuliani ] Joke's on you. I never had a license, to begin with.
[ Laughter ]
After the ruling, Rudy said,
"Well, on to selling baseball cards, alright."
[ Laughter and applause ] Well, here's some big news --
First Lady Jill Biden is reportedly now all-in
on the idea of her husband running for a second term.
I mean, after watching that Trump video,
how could she not be?
[ Laughter ]
Some more news from Washington --
last night, the House passed a short-term
government funding bill to avert a shutdown, yeah.
[ Cheering and applause ] Here, check out what some members of the House had
to say about it. First up, Congressman David Price said...
[ Laughter and applause ]
And Congressman Josh Harder said...
[ Laughter ]
Congressman Jeff Duncan said...
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ Rimshot ]
I just --
Then Congressman Ken Buck said...
[ Laughter and applause ]
Then Congressman Tom Cole said...
[ Laughter and applause ]
Then Congressman Virginia Foxx said...
[ Laughter and applause ]
And finally, Congressman Dutch Ruppersberger said...
[ Laughter and applause ]
Everyone had -- Everyone
-But him. -had their say.
[ Rimshot ]
Did you see this? -Yeah.
-This is this is real as well.
Did you see this? TLC just announced
a new reality dating show
called "MILF Manor."
[ Laughter ] -Ugh!
-It features eight women, eight younger men,
and one shocking twist.
Yeah, I think the shocking twist is
that TLC used to stand for The Learning Channel.
[ Laughter ] -[ Claps ]
-Actually, the shocking twist is that it's hosted by Mike Pence.
[ Laughter ] -Really?
-Well, I saw that several TikTok users
have been posting their own Tinder Wrapped, okay?
Where they wrap up their year of dating.
[ Laughter ] Yeah, and a lot of them were very similar,
so, since it's the holidays, I'll sum them all up
in the most festive way possible. Here we go.
[ Cheering and applause ]
[ "The Twelve Days of Christmas" plays ]
[ Bells jingling ]
♪ In the last day of Tinder ♪
♪ My love life gave to me ♪
[ Cheering and applause ]
[ Laughter ]
-[ Joins in singing ]
What a year.
♪♪
Thank you very much.
[ Cheering and applause ]
Thank you very much. Thanks, Steph.
Guys, I read a new survey that said
the most stressful place to be during the holidays is the mall.
-Hm. -It's so stressful,
shoppers are walking up to mall Santas like,
"Let me get a swig of that."
[ Laughter and applause ] Guys,
we have exactly two shows left
before we go on Christmas break, which means it's time
for that beloved "Tonight Show" tradition.
It's time for "12 Days of Christmas Sweaters."
-♪ 12 Days of Christmas Sweaters ♪
♪ Two days l-e-e-eft ♪
-That's right. Every show between now and Christmas,
we'll be giving one lucky audience member
a swag-a-docious Christmas sweater
from the Countdown to Christmas Cabinet.
Since there are two shows left, let's open door number 2.
-2. -Yeah. Where we going?
-Down this way. -Ooh!
It's over by -- close to me. All right.
Whenever you're ready. Yeah, go for it, bud.
Oh, wow.
♪♪
[ Cheering and applause ]
Wow.
Thank you very much. -Yeah.
-Can we -- -That's crazy.
-Can we -- [ Laughs ]
Can we dim the lights?
Can we dim the lights on this guy?
Look at this.
Yeah -- ooh, that's -- [ Cheering and applause ]
Now let's see who's going home with tonight's sweater.
Everyone, look at your seat number.
If I call your number, come on down!
Quest, can I get a drumroll, please?
[ Drumroll ]
112!
Where you at, 112?
♪♪
[ Cheering and applause ]
There you go.
♪♪
Come on over! Hey!
Hi!
Nice to see you. It's a pleasure.
-Thank you.
-What is your name, and where are you from?
-My name is Afsani. I'm from Iran.
-Hey! Welcome!
Thank you for being here! [ Cheering and applause ]
Welcome, welcome, welcome to our show.
-Thank you. -And New York.
It's a little chilly outside. -It is.
-You need a little bit more than that.
-Of course. -Yes, I mean, it looks gorgeous,
but this -- do you have anything like this at home?
-No. -No?
Would you like to try this on for every--
-Of course. -Yeah, this'll be fun.
Here, I'll help you out. Thank you.
Go through there.
There's no real right way to put it on.
[ Cheering and applause ]
There you go. Oh. -I think I'm stuck.
-Are you stuck? -No.
-No, you're in. Wow, look at this.
Are you kidding me? [ Cheering and applause ]
You look gorgeous! Look at this.
Wow! -Thank you!
-You look fantastic! What a model.
Thank you very much. -Thank you.
-Congratulations. Thank you for being here.
Oh, please, I appreciate it. Give her a round of applause.
[ Cheering and applause ]
That was fantastic.
It's like feathers.
-Feathers everywhere. -Feathers everywhere.
You know what? You know what?
I'm in the giving spirit tonight.
[ Cheering and applause ]
Why? Why does just one person get a gift?
Why can't everyone in the audience get a gift?!
[ Cheering and applause ] That's right!
It's time for "Tonight Show Stocking Stuffers"!
Here we go! -♪ "Tonight Show" ♪
-♪ Stocking Stuffers ♪
-♪ It's the "Tonight Show" ♪
-♪ Stocking Stuffers ♪
-♪ Stocking Stuffers ♪ -♪ Yeah ♪
-Every night until Christmas break,
we're giving away an incredible gift
to every single person in our studio audience.
Are you guys ready for this?
Ready to see what you're taking home?
Questlove, drumroll, please. [ Drumroll ]
Tonight's stocking stuffer is a
House of Marley Get Together 2 mini wireless Bluetooth speaker!
[ Cheering and applause ]
-Yes, Jimmy, created in collaboration
with the Marley family, the House of Marley Get Together 2
mini wireless dust- and waterproof speaker
is crafted with natural bamboo and REWIND fabric created
from 99% postconsumer materials.
The speakers boast 15 hours of perfectly balanced sound,
making it excellent for any investor.
Head to houseofmarley.com to get yours!
Jimmy?
-Thank you very much, Higgins.
Look at this.
Look at the woofer on the --
Look at the bass on this guy.
Ooh! [ Imitates bass thumping ]
Yeah.
How about we test these guys out?
[ Cheering and applause ]
You guys want to hear how they sound?
Here we go. Let's go.
-♪ There are times when I look above and beyond ♪
♪ There are times when I feel your arms around me, baby ♪
[ Cheering ]
[ Rimshot ] -[ Laughs ]
-What -- What is going --
What is going on?!
Janet Jackson! -Jimmy...
-Janet Jackson is in the house!
[ Cheering and applause ]
-I see all this. What are you doing?
-Janet, what are you doing here? What are you --
-Listen, I start my new tour, "Together Again," in April,
and I was looking for someone to come onstage
and dance with me in Madison Square Garden.
-And you -- So, you saw my dance moves
and you, like, want me to go on tour?
This right there?
I'm a little stiff, but, yeah. You're looking for dancers?
-Yes. -You're looking for --
-No, that ain't gonna make it, Jimmy.
-I'm not going to make it. Thank you very much.
I appreciate it. I was trying --
-No, but, listen, I would love to see if someone
from the audience wants to try.
[ Cheering and applause ] Yeah?
-Does someone want to dance with Janet Jackson?
You, sir, in the hat right there.
Why don't you pick one, and I'll pick one.
You -- How about that guy with the hat?
-Okay. -I think he should come down.
Yeah, I think so. ♪♪
And who else?
-The girl with the black shirt.
-In the black shirt, yes. Come on down.
-Whoo!
-Welcome. Hi.
Hello. What is your name?
-Jenny Mariani! Hi!
-Hi! Where are you -- -Whoo-hoo!
[ Cheering and applause ] -What is your name?
-Jeff. Jeff Cherry. Jenny looks like a real dancer.
-She does? -Thank you.
-No, I think you look like a real dancer, too.
I mean, come on. I can see some moves here.
Alright, now, Janet, do they need to know anything
before they dance for you?
-No, no. Just freestyle. Just do what you want to do.
Just -- No, seriously, freestyle.
-Here we go. This is freestyle.
Let's play a little "Together Again"
for them right now.
-♪ There are times when I look above and beyond ♪
♪ There are times when I feel your arms around me, baby ♪
-No, hey, that's not bad.
I mean...
A lot of spin.
A lot of spins going around there, too.
-Come on. -I can do that spin.
Alright, I like that. Alright, I think that's good.
Janet, what do you think? Do they have what it takes?
-You know what?
I would love for both of you guys
to come and dance with me onstage, yeah?
[ Cheering and applause ]
[ Rimshot ]
As a matter of fact, I would love to give tickets
to everybody here in the audience
for the Madison Square Garden show.
[ Drumroll ] -Oh, my God! Come on, now!
[ Cheering and applause ] That's what I'm talking about!
You're all getting tickets to see Janet Jackson
on her "Together Again" tour at Madison Square Garden!
What a night this is!
Janet Jackson, everybody!
You can get presale tickets
to her "Together Again" tour right now.
Tickets officially go on sale tomorrow.
We'll be right back with more of "The Tonight Show"!
-What was that?
♪♪