"If you could go back in time and redo one thing in your life,
what would it be and why?"
Not wear double popped collars. Oh, my...
I make that shit triple popped collars.
What's your one regret you'd change?
A lip tattoo?
Where does it...? Is it here?
I mean, you're only on camera right now.
You done fucked up.
They don't know?
That's a great place to hide it.
Okay. "What's your worst, weirdest encounter in the subway?
If not, NYC?"
I think everyone has a crazy subway story.
Just one?
I mean, multiple, right?
My... This was the one where I was, like, "Alright, I gotta get out of this city."
So...
We live in Hell's Kitchen, right?
And... one night, I'm walking home. And we live...
We used to live across this very popular wine bar.
And I was walking, it's, like, 2 o'clock in the morning,
I'm walking back home. I look across the street.
And there was just this beautiful woman in this flowing dress...
just puking in the bushes.
You know, just like the Yin and Yang of New York,
just beauty and horror all at once. It's the Big Apple!
Only people in New York get that, by the way.
Everyone else is, like, "Why would she be in a gown... puking?"
Everyone else is, like, "Yeah, it's Tuesday."
And I was new to the city, so I look and I'm, like, "What's going on?"
And people were just walking by.
It was just, like, white headphones, like, "Hey, man, not my problem."
I'm, like, "Alright, man, like...
Just... Cinderella is having an exorcism over here.
Someone help her, please."
They're, like, "Man, I can't, I'm listening to a podcast about podcasts.
I have no time.
Man, this podcast about podcasts is the best podcast about podcasts."
So I was, like, "Okay! I will help her."
And I remember, I see her,
she's just full on... Everyone's in the splash zone.
In front of this tree, so I run across the street.
A car, I was, like, "Stop!"
I'm like, "Excuse me, ma'am. Madam.
Do you need a hand?" She looks up and she was like...
"Are you my Uber driver?"
Got it.
And I'm just, like, "Why don't I listen to more podcasts?"
Alright. "If you could say anything to Draymond Green
without Draymond trying to fight you...
what would it be?" O.R. You know what I'd tell him straight up?
"If you weren't on the Warriors, you wouldn't be in the League."
It's true! It is true, these are facts.
"How do you choose your topics?"
How do I choose...? I mean... Okay, do you really wanna know?
Okay, so we have a senior news team.
They are, like, journalists, former journalists.
They collect a bunch of stories.
We'll have a pitch meeting, they'll come into the pitch meeting,
they'll go, "I have this idea, what do you think?"
I'll have an idea. I'll be, like,
"I think we should talk about this or we should talk about that."
And sometimes if those two things align.
I'll be, like, "Okay, how can we make this funny?"
'Cause that's... really necessary for a comedy show.
Not necessarily this episode, but...
No, but is it significant or important, or do we have a piece of...?
Something that's new, that people haven't seen before,
or do we have a take that needs to be added,
or just something that I had no idea that existed?
That's really what we want to add to the conversation,
that feeling of, like, "How did I not know that?"
Or, "I never knew that about that thing.
I'd heard about that thing, but I'd never known that."
So that sort of exciting element,
that usually gets us going, "Okay, let's start writing this."
And then we'll start writing it,
and we'll put stuff up.
And then some stuff will actually... Some pieces will die.
They don't make it to the show, and so it's like a process of
pitching, writing, refining, and then what you see is... this.
People come up to me all the time, and they're just, like,
"You have to do a thing on Rohingya." And I'm, like...
Like, the people just give me homework assignments,
they'll just be, like...
"The opioid epidemic!"
I'll just be at a coffee shop and I'm, like, "Alright, man."
Right, Eddie? People will be, like, "You have to talk about this!"
And I'm, like, "Are there jokes or...?"
They're like, "Nah, man.
That's for you to figure out."