hey tech wait here and welcome to the
Tecla show I'll be your host the tech
lead welcome to coffee time today what
we're going to talk about are the top
things I wish I knew when I was in my
20s I am an influencer and one of my
jobs here is to influence it is coffee
time in a part of me when I look back on
my 20s I'm just glad I made out alive
and in one piece and I would say that a
lot of people they would look back on
their 20s and they'd say it's a period
of time when a lot could have gone
horribly wrong and even for myself
things turned out alright for me and I
know that a lot of people they look at
me and they say well seems like I took
all the right paths everything worked
out and I planned so well but things
could have easily fallen apart for me as
well during this time I had done a lot
of soul-searching trying to figure out
who I was as well as abandoning of any
soul-searching simply not looking for
anything deeper in life a lot of
misguided traveling wasting my time and
potentially career-ending moves in which
I could have easily ended up in the
deserts of Nevada luckily for me as I
approached my 30s I managed to land a
good job at Google and things took an
outpour term for me and turned out this
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alright thanks Sam back to the show so
here was my critical flaw that I did not
realize about the 20s the 20s are a time
when you need to start preparing for
adulthood when you really need to start
taking on the responsibilities of being
able to become a family person this is
your transition period from being
someone who's completely single and you
have no responsibilities for anyone to a
period of time when you may need to
start thinking about how you're going to
support a whole other person
plus a kid or maybe even two kids and be
able to support all the housing and the
food and this was my critical flaw in
which I did not think about this I did
not want to think about any of this I
spent a lot of my time envisioning
myself traveling the world three months
at a time maybe I could support one
other person my wife say my spouse and
that's all I ever really imagined about
and I think that this is something that
you see in a lot of young people these
days too they're embracing this idea
where they're just traveling around
doing adventurous dangerous activities
investing in hobbies like say scuba
diving motorcycling rock climbing none
of these are really going to be useful
when you get into your 30s when you need
to start watching another person and you
need to start being conscious about your
own health and making sure that you're
healthy you're around and you can take
care of other people not just going out
having a bunch of crazy times for
yourself breaking your back breaking
your leg traveling around living at
dirty house those eating cheap unhealthy
meals at McDonald's I would just have a
single pair of clothes out where I'd be
pretty cheap and I felt that well I
could support myself and that's him good
enough and then I would start doing
crazy activities I would go scuba diving
learning how to do motorcycling and yeah
maybe I could afford individual health
insurance for myself but supporting
health insurance and the good quality of
life for another person and the kid none
of that was really in my plans you know
I remember when I would go traveling as
I sat in an airplane ready for another
10 hour flight I would start thinking
deeply and trying to think about the
meaning of life who I was what I wanted
to be but after doing this enough times
I just stopped thinking I stopped soul
searching and I just said you know what
I'm just gonna go out there and have as
much fun as I can and that's it there's
nothing more to it it's a shallow
experience and I think that's a pretty
easy thing to be doing in your 20s you
just stop thinking stop planning and you
expect that the 20s will last forever
and that this could be your life but
that's kind of a dangerous move right as
soon as you meet the right person in one
or two years you'd be married and then
you start thinking about having kids and
you start having to go out fast now my
second tip here is that this is a time
for you to really enjoy yourself because
this is a time of luxury I believe that
we all have a four core assets I've
talked about this before but it is time
energy health and money and in your 20s
you're going to have at least three of
these time health and energy for most
people and this is a great time to use
those to the fullest you can explore
hobbies you can go travel you're pretty
much free to do anything that you want
and for me I would go train hopping in
Europe on the whim
I'll just go spend three months living
in Japan just
I felt like I was gonna live in New York
for a while go live in London for a
while just go around travel whenever I
felt like it and I would always think to
myself well it seems that other rich
people other magazines they'd always be
talking about how travel is such a
luxury but it seems so easy for me how
come I could do it and no one else could
do it wasn't i living the life and now i
realized that the 20's were truly a
special time in which i was really able
to do a lot because when you get married
and then you have a family then you have
a lot of other people that you have to
start thinking about I don't know when
the next time will be when I can hop on
the train in Switzerland and then go
down into Italy along the southern coast
of France into Spain that was a fun trip
that I had gone on the wind but now I
have a kid I have to think about you
know my kid is not going to be able to
go on some crazy hostel train trip for a
number of years at least probably
another 10 years I would say and then
even when I do go I'm going to have
other people around me that I'm going to
have to be considerate about doing
things that I don't necessarily want to
do it's probably going to cost more too
because other people are going to want
better standards eat better food then
when I had gone I had just been eating
McDonald's along the whole way I
prioritized the adventure more than food
for myself and probably when I do go
many years later I'm not going to have
the same energy I'm not going to have
the same quality of health I remember I
would spend a long time living on
sailboats traveling long-term love these
activities don't really work out when
you have to support a family to be able
to provide the health insurance vision
benefits dental benefits all that good
stuff
live it up a bit have some fun if you
want to travel by all means go travel
it's going to be probably the best time
in your life to do it I wouldn't overdo
it necessarily because there are so many
other responsibilities that you need to
think about and keep on track but it is
a good time to start doing a lot of
other things that you may have dreamed
about doing when you're a kid this is
the time to do it my third tip for you
is to take care of yourself physically
mentally and in terms of health because
I think that especially for the men out
there as a young man myself I would do
all sorts of really crazy things and I
don't know why I did it
they say that for men brains don't fully
mature until age 30 and I would tend to
agree with that I remember I would just
go driving 120 miles per hour I would
find mountainous curves and just go
curve around and I would be doing this
in a really crappy car that I did not
maintain I did not
and I easily could have hurt myself
easily could have hurt somebody else and
I would just go searching for the
craziest most dangerous adventures that
I could find I remember that as I was
getting towards age 30 I wanted to think
about how I could get to Mount Everest
and I wanted to do that whole Everest
base camp stuff I remember I wanted to
climb Mount Kilimanjaro i pre-ordered a
Ducati motorcycle you know all of these
things they say like for example
motorcycling it's only a matter of time
until you fall it's not if you fall it's
a matter of time and these are all
guaranteed ways for me to get myself
injured and now looking back I realized
that this whole time I was a family man
I was carrying my whole family on the
back of that motorcycle I was carrying
my whole family when I went scuba diving
with this loose screw in which water
could have gone into my respirator and
killed me right there I was taking my
whole family when I was speeding around
120 miles per hour in the crappy car
because my whole family would be in my
future
and if I had died then they would not
have existed and worse if I did not die
if I had instead just injured myself
injured my back injured my leg then I
would not be able to enjoy good times
with my kid with my wife what you don't
realize is that when you get to age 30
you're gonna be really happy that you
still have your body intact you're gonna
be happy that you still be able to walk
pretty well still be able to take a good
hike you still have your ears to listen
to the birds with if you were going too
crazy loud concerts and you bust your
eardrums you're not gonna be able to do
that watch your back watch your joints
careful pal things like speed kart
racing trampolines rock climbing
anything that can cause any sort of
permanent damage
you are not invincible the human body is
fragile and if you're having to suffer a
lot if you find that you need to put
your body at risk then think about maybe
you're just being too cheap it's quite
possible that for some in their 20s what
they're truly lacking is money money if
you pay enough you can make it safe
that's why I lost some of my interest in
motorcycles now my fourth tip is that
this is when people's paths will start
to vary wildly this is where heroes are
born and we're old legends die because
this is when you leave the classrooms
you leave your teachers you leave your
parents and for the first time in your
life this is when you need to decide
what you're going to do with your life
and it's going to vary
some people are going to focus on their
careers and you're just going to go all
the way up that career ladder other
people are going to go traveling other
people are going to go on drugs other
people will go play video games some
will get themselves killed in some crazy
adventure if you want to party all day
long you can and if you want to work all
day long you can as well this is when
you are actually in control and you need
to start putting your life in order add
some structure to it think about what
you really want to do with it who are
you going to be and make that happen
because nobody is going to have the
authority to be able to tell you what
you should be doing you're not even
going to want to listen to other people
especially your family especially your
dad but what you will listen to our
generally random influences that you
find online people like me which is why
I gotta be here making this video for
you because your dad actually had to
phone me up and tell me to make a video
for you because he knows that you follow
me on YouTube so now I got to do this
show for you when you look at other
people especially in this age of social
media you're going to feel like you're
missing out because other people are
going to be doing so many other random
things and you're going to be on your
path don't compare yourself to other
people you need to focus on what you're
doing and I want to know sure that
there's going to be a lot of inertia
this is going to be a fundamental change
in the way that you live life because
throughout most of your life throughout
most of your 20s they're being guided by
other people this is when you actually
have to put your hands on the driving
wheel and the funny thing is nobody
actually tells you that this is what you
need to do at some point people just
stop driving and you need to realize
that and you need to actually be the one
Drive in your life so that's what I mean
there's going to be a lot of inertia
you're not gonna want to do things
you're going to feel that you have to be
proactive all the time always be asking
yourself is this who you want to be and
that if you're the one writing the story
of your life how would you want it to
read now my fourth tip is that the 20s
is also a good time to do some dating
and it's something that you should
definitely be thinking about because one
of the biggest choices in your life is
going to be who you choose to spend your
life with now I'm not a marriage
counselor although I very well could be
and I might advise avoid getting married
too early because what marriage really
does it just brings the government into
your relationship you don't really want
that in a relationship until you really
need to have one maybe when you have a
kid or something like that my number one
tip when you meet someone is maybe take
them over to Ikea so
thing like that you won't be in an area
conducive to disagreements where you
have to pick the color and style of
furniture for example and this will
allow you to see how people act when
there are tough times when things aren't
necessarily going their way how did they
build consensus how do they compromise
when there are good times women take
people to an expensive restaurant of
course everybody's going to be happy
everyone's going to be able to put a
smile on their face my last time final
tip will be that your 20s will end
sooner than you think one day you'll
wake up you'll be in your 30s everybody
will look at you all the kids will look
at you and think oh yeah you seem old
and you imagine that when you used to
look at other people in their thirties
you thought they seemed ODEs to you look
at both peers both classmates on
LinkedIn you'll see that they're pretty
successful and then you realize that
you're a complete adult now and this was
your life it's not so much a moment of
self-reflection as much of a moment
where you just don't care anymore
everything just turns to garbage your
old high school classmates who used to
have a crush on you just don't care
about them anymore
those stupid dreams that you had have
been an Instagram influencer that you
had those stupid little hobbies like
rock climbing that you seem to care so
much about that motorcycle or that car
that you seemed to treasure so much all
of that's gone all that's been sewed
washed out doesn't matter anymore what
really matters is just the present and
the future moving forward what do you
have and that's why I might recommend
that you invest in some of that invest
in yourself invest in learning your
assets are going to be as some of their
peak here you're going to have time
health and energy and maybe even money
if you're lucky enough make those count
I just wanted to chime in here and
mention that one of the best skills that
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please let me know your top tips in the
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next time bye