THIS FOOD IS AMAZING, MOM. >> SURE IS.
>> YES, MRS. HONTAS, THE CORN IS VERY DELICIOUS.
>> WELL, I'M GLAD YOU LIKE IT, JOHN.
BUT, AGAIN, OUR LAST NAME ISN'T HONTAS.
>> WE DON'T HAVE LAST NAMES, JOHN.
>> RIGHT. SORRY, I GUESS I MESSED UP
AGAIN. >> I GUESS YOU DID.
>> IT'S OKAY, JOHN. YOU'RE DOING FINE.
>> I'M SO NERVOUS. I REALLY WANT YOUR FAMILY TO
LIKE ME. >> THEY DO LIKE YOU.
>> WOULD YOU EXCUSE ME FOR A SEC?
I JUST HAVE TO USE THE RESTROOM. >> OKAY.
>> JOHN SEEMS NICE. >> HE IS, MOM.
AND THANKS FOR WELCOMING HIM TO THANKSGIVING DINNER, EVEN THOUGH
HE'S -- >> A PALEFACE?
>> GRANDPA, THAT'S NOT NICE. YOU'RE BEING PREJUDICED.
>> I'M NOT PREJUDICED. I JUST SEE THAT THE PALEFACES
ARE TAKING OVER. THEY ARE EVERYWHERE NOW.
>> MAYBE COOL IT WITH THE PALEFACE TALK, DAD.
>> WE CAN'T SAY THAT NOW? WHAT ARE THEY CALLED?
>> I THINK IT'S JUST "WHITE PEOPLE."
>> WHITE PEOPLE? BUT THEY'RE NOT WHITE.
THEY'RE PALE. >> STOP IT.
HE'S GOING TO HEAR YOU. >> I GUESS MY STOMACH WAS A
LITTLE UPSET. I FEEL A LOT BETTER NOW.
>> LOOK. HE DIDN'T EVEN WASH.
HIS HANDS ARE BONE DRY. >> SO, JOHN, POCAHONTAS TELLS US
YOU'RE TURNING 30 SOON. >> YEAH, COUPLE WEEKS.
>> YOU DO KNOW SHE'S 12, RIGHT? >> I DO, I DO.
>> WELL, I SEE. >> I HAVE AN IDEA.
WHY DON'T WE ALL GO AROUND THE TABLE AND SHARE SOMETHING THAT
WE'RE THANKFUL FOR. >> OH, I LOVE THAT IDEA.
WELL, I THINK -- >> I'LL START.
I'M THANKFUL FOR OUR LAND AND OUR GREAT AND MIGHTY CHIEF.
LET'S HOPE HE FINALLY BUILDS THAT WALL.
>> GRANDPA. >> WHAT?
WE NEED A WALL. I HEARD THOSE ILLEGAL SETTLERS
ARE COMING OVER HERE WITH THEIR DISEASES AND GUNS.
AND WE NEED TO PROTECT OUR BORDERS.
>> THAT IS JUST SO RUDE AND OFFENSIVE, GRANDPA.
>> WHERE DID YOU EVEN HEAR A THING LIKE THAT?
>> FOX. >> GRANDPA, YOU'VE GOT TO STOP
TALKING TO THAT CRAZY OLD FOX. >> HE KNOWS WHAT'S UP.
HE MAKES A LOT MORE SENSE THAN THAT LYING PEACOCK YOU TALK TO.
>> IT'S OKAY. EVERYBODY IS ENTITLED TO THEIR
OWN OPINION. >> EXACTLY.
>> CAN WE JUST HAVE A NICE THANKSGIVING DINNER WITHOUT
BRINGING UP POLITICS? >> FINE BY ME.
>> YES. >> PLEASE.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK I HAVE TO EXCUSE MYSELF
AGAIN. >> SURE.
OKAY, BABE. GRANDPA, YOU'RE BEING A BIGOT.
>> IS JOHN OKAY? THAT'S THE SECOND TIME HE
EXCUSED HIMSELF. >> MAYBE BECAUSE GRANDPA KEEPS
FREAKING HIM OUT. >> OR MAYBE BECAUSE HE'S
STEALING FROM US. >> WHAT?
JOHN DOESN'T STEAL. >> I'M JUST SAYING, SINCE THOSE
ILLEGALS SHOWED UP A LOT OF THINGS HAVE GONE MISSING LATELY.
BUFFALOES, LAND. >> GRANDPA, THE PALE -- EXCUSE
ME, WHITE PEOPLE, HAVE MADE SOME GOOD CONTRIBUTIONS TO OUR LAND.
>> RIGHT. LIKE THOSE UGLY BLANKETS THAT
ARE GETTING EVERYBODY SICK. >> WHO TOLD YOU THE BLANKETS ARE
GETTING PEOPLE SICK? >> THE FOX.
HE KNOWS WHAT'S UP. HE ALSO SAID THESE ILLEGALS --
>> STOP CALLING THEM ILLEGALS. THEY'RE JUST REGULAR HARDWORKING
PEOPLE SEEKING REFUGE. >> SINCE WHEN IS IT OUR JOB TO
TAKE CARE OF THIS WORLD'S PROBLEMS?
>> OKAY DAD, THAT'S ENOUGH. >> HEY, GUYS, I SHOULD MAYBE GET
GOING. >> BONE DRY AGAIN.
>> JOHN, PLEASE STAY. >> I'M SORRY ABOUT MY FATHER.
HE'S JUST A LITTLE OLD-FASHIONED.
>> IT'S NOT THAT. I JUST THINK MY STOMACH IS
HAVING A HARD TIME DIGESTING THIS FOOD.
I SAW SOME WHOLE CORN KERNELS IN MY STOOL AND I SPECIFICALLY
REMEMBER CHEWING THEM ALL. >> YEAH, THAT HAPPENS TO ME,
TOO. >> ME, TOO.
>> YEAH, IT'S SOMETHING ABOUT THE SKIN ON THE CORN, I THINK.
IT DOESN'T BREAK DOWN. >> OH.
>> THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE BECAUSE IT'S ONLY SOME OF THEM
IN MY STOOL. >> RIGHT.
LIKE THREE OR FOUR. >> YES.
I SAW EXACTLY FOUR JUST NOW IN MY STOOL.
>> AND I SAW THREE YESTERDAY. WOW.
JOHN, I GUESS WE HAVE A FEW THINGS IN COMMON AFTER ALL.
>> YES. I GUESS SO.
FRIENDS? >> FRIENDS.
I'M NOT TOUCHING YOUR HAND. YOU JUST CRAPPED TWICE AND YOUR
HANDS ARE BONE DRY. >> OH.
OKAY. SORRY.
>> GRANDPA! >> HI, FOLKS.
I'M WILL FERRELL. IF YOU'RE ANYTHING LIKE ME, YOU
KNOW THERE'S A LOT OF PROBLEMS IN THIS CRAZY, CRAZY SKETCH.
I MEAN, WHITE ACTORS PLAYING NATIVES?
WHAT IS THIS -- 2014? BUT NO MATTER WHAT YEAR IT IS OR
WHAT COLOR WE ARE OR WHETHER WE GET OUR NEWS FROM A FOX OR A
PEACOCK, ONE THING'S FOR SURE -- NONE OF US CAN DIGEST CORN.
AND THAT'S WHAT'S IMPORTANT. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.