Anthony Carboni. Oh hi Cristen Conger. Thanks so much for coming on Stuff Mom Never Told
You. Oh I'm happy to be here. Could you introduce yourself to our audience? Uh, sure, I host
a show called 'DNews' and another one called 'Hard Science' so I do daily science news
and science experiments. A lot of scienceing. Anthony it's good that you do so much science,
so much problem-solving because we got a problem to solve--Okay--about the holidays. Ready?
Alright? Holidays plus relationships equal--that's bad news. Yeah. It's bad news. Yeah you solved
the equation. [Laughter]. First lets start with the practical stuff. Sure. Present-buying.
Not to like toot my own horn or whatever but beep beep, I'm a pretty decent gift-buyer.
Oooh. I'm pretty good but I have dated people in the past that have the very narrow, specific
range of expectations--mmm-hmmm--and I think it's karma because I am also kind of that
person and I try not to be. It's really weird because it's a gift right? It's just here
I got you this because I care about you. No wrong. One thing that's good for guys, girls,
whomever is just to express gratitude--just gift cards? Oh. Sorry. [Laughter]. I love
you. We've been together for six years. This is $50 for Applebee's. And if you do get a
gift card, you know what, I take it back, you don't have to say thank you. [Laughter].
You can get mad. All rules go out the window. The gift card turns it into thunder dome.
Let's talk about the actual interactions that go into the holidays. If you've been in a
relationship for a long time, they either just add more stress cause you're like well
now we got to go to the family thing or if you're kind of new in a relationship then
you're like, well do we have to go do the family thing? Yeah there are a lot of different
goalposts there and a lot of expectations. Have we been dating long enough where I invite
her home? Yeah. Well I've been dating her just long enough but I'm not ready for her
to meet my family. Mm-hmmm. Maybe she doesn't want to meet my family but--Never make that
assumption if you're a guy! [Laughter]. Even if we might not want to spend time with your
mother, we want the option of meeting her. Right. If it's a new relationship then you
are surrounded by a bunch of people that you don't know but all the sudden you have to
impress and they have to like you. You're good at gift-giving, I'm good with parents.
Are you? I am not. [Laughter]. Parents have traditionally always disliked me, I think
when I was younger I was just like a little too familiar, like I'd get in there and I'd
try to like over-compensate. Hey we're all buddies, we're pals. Hey. Hey it's so great
to meet you, probably sleeping with your daughter, hey good to be in your house Jim, let's have
a beer. Nope Jim is not ready to have a beer with me. That beatnik beard. It's probably
the beatnik beard. My fiancee's parent currently loves me. That's great. [Laughter]. That is
good. No, but loved me from like, loved me from go. You can also go there as the person
who's visiting the family and see some family interactions that put you off your game. Right?
It's a glimpse I feel like into how you might be treated if you stay with this person for
a really long time, how your significant other interacts with especially if you are a woman,
how your let's say boyfriend treats his mother. Lets be Debbie downers for a second, do you
mind? It's gonna be real tough for me. [Laughter]. According to Facebook relationship data that
was collected it is the peak time of the year to break up. Any chink in the armor is just
going to be magnified in any situation of stress. All of the sudden you may come to
that realization like, I need, I need out of this. Yeah. And maybe you need out of this
and you're in the middle of you know, Iowa, in the middle of nowhere and you're there
for three more days and it's like well can I pull the trigger? Should I pull the trigger?
Am I just feeling stress? Let's do a quick bullet list because we've established obviously
holidays are stressful for romantic relationships, but what can you do? Stop, drop and r--no.
Manage your expectations. Communication. Communication. Oooh. You can talk about what you're thinking
and feeling--yes--and then problems go away. With the whole present thing, set a budget.
Oooh yeah. That way you don't have a situation where it's like I got you a new car! Oh thanks
for the sweater. Don't get in your head about the holidays, that's the big thing. I think
everybody who's googling, who found this because it's like 'how to stay stress-free during
the holidays' there's probably somebody you're just not talking to about how stressed you
are about the holidays. That's so true. It's maybe best to just approach it as time-off
from work, an excuse to eat a lot of food and just try to have fun. Thank you so much
Anthony. Oh absolutely. Thanks for having me. Hey and Anthony. Yes Cristen? Where can
people find all of your cool science videos? Oh my gosh, well uh Hard Science is every
Wednesday at youtube.com/hardscienceshow and DNews is twice a day at youtube.com/dnews.
We want to hear from you. What kind of relationship survival tactics do you have for the holidays?
Share them below in the comments. Don't forget to subscribe.