I think the best way to control people is to control their emotions.
You say: “Brian why are you so upset today?” “Well I’m upset because
of this person or this thing”. What that really means
is that some person or some condition in your environment
is controlling the way you’re feeling and the way you’re thinking.
If something outside of you is controlling the way you feel
and the way you think, you’re victim
to your environment. And so then there is this
dramatic polarity that goes on, when things are going well you’re happy,
when things aren’t going well you’re sad. But when you learn how to self-regulate
and create more coherence in your brain and heart
then you’re no longer dependent on your outer world
controlling your mood,
in fact you begin to realize, how you think and feel,
begins to produce effects in your outer life. Now you start believing more
you’re the creator of your life and less of the victim of your life.
Now that isn’t something that you take one bite of
and swallow and it’s all over,
it’s a process of re- patterning,
it’s a process of rewiring, it’s a process of reconditioning,
it’s a process of self-reflection and awareness in changing those beliefs.
When you begin to realize that, well “I can’t respond
to the same conditions in my life with the same emotions
and the same thoughts, because if I believe that the way I feel
and the way I think creates reality, if I’m reacting to the same thoughts and
feelings, equal to the conditions in my life
in the same way, then I keep reaffirming the same life”.
So then, a person has to retreat from their life,
retreat from their environment, disconnect from their outer world
and begin to lay down patterns neurologically in their brain,
so that their brain is no longer a record of the past,
they’re priming their brain and beginning to lay down the circuitry
for them to think in different ways, to begin to close their eyes and rehearse
who they’re gonna to be in that day, and the act of mentally rehearsing
begins to install the neurological hardware in their brain,
so their brain looks like the experience is already happening
or has already happened. The first part in
truly creating a new personal reality is overcoming your present personality.
You gotta get beyond the normal thinking patterns, the normal…
urges of action and habits, to get beyond certain emotions
that are residuals from the day before, that’s the work right there,
that’s the part you have to overcome. So some days you just kinda slip in and…
it’s magic! Cause you’ve been practicing… Like having
a great golf game or a great tennis game
or a great run, a great session of knitting!
You just… you’re in your groove.
Other days you gotta work a little bit more for it,
and for me, what I’ve learned is,
those hard days, the days that are the most challenging
are always the most rewarding. Because now
you’re uncompromising to an outcome.
And if it takes you an hour to get beyond your self,
to find the present moment, cause that’s the only place where the unknown
exists, the familiar emotions
and hardwired patterns of the past
are the known, the predictable future
in trying to forecast the feeling of every event in our life,
that people do unconsciously is also the known,
there’s only one place where the unknown exists
and that’s the present moment. And I’ve just done it enough times
and there are plenty of people in our work that have done it enough times
to know when you’re there and when you’re not!
And when you’re not, it’s very obvious
cause you’ve been there enough times. It’s just like hitting a tennis ball in
the sweet spot. You lock in to something
and that wholeness starts to happen and now you’re no longer creating from polarity
or duality or opposites.
They create when they see they don’t have something.
Whether, “Hey nice suit, I want one of those”
right? And the moment I see that you have a nice
suit and I start thinking I want one of those,
my brain naturally starts putting me in the equation,
next thing you know I’m wearing your suit. Well that’s cause we’re wired to do that.
So then, we have this natural ability to create.
The problem is after you imagine that,
you open your eyes and you don’t have it, people experience more lack,
well we’re not that good yet. So then,
the act of practicing enough times and beginning to create the state
in which you’re so connected to the energy of your
future, you’re no longer looking for it
or waiting for it, you feel like it’s already happened.
The moment you get upset in traffic, the moment you start judging a coworker,
you just disconnected from the energy of your future
and now you’re back to the energy of your past.
Now… if you tell me it was that person that did
it to you, I’d say to you:
“Oh, you’re back to the unconscious program of being a victim again.
So then, the person then goes: “Oh when did I fall from
that state, when did I lose it…
oh it happened at 3 o’clock today? The next time that happens
what can I do differently?” Now the person’s
moving through their challenges in their life
with coherence, with rhythm,
they’re starting to begin to make strides, and that they’re no longer knee-jerking
to the people in their life, that they’ve used
emotionally to reaffirm their identity. Now this is the work because
you look around to see if anybody’s doing it
and you don’t see anybody else doing it, it’s kind of this lonely moment
where you’re realizing, I’m the only one doing this.
That’s that kind of moment you realize that nobody understands you but you.
And you can’t even ask your friends for their opinion
because they’re gonna give you their opinion,
based on their own experiences. And it’s that kind of moment when you have
to draw in all your resources and begin to make up your mind.
So the optimism that I have is that
if you teach people then, how to be able to become more self-dependent,
teach them that they have the resources to heal their body
or to create opportunities in their lives, they can begin to take the energy
of that disorderliness and by creating more coherence,
brain coherence and heart coherence, in the midst of when everything else is collapsing,
the only way that change is going to take place
is if you see the evidence of the collapse right in front of you.
I think the challenge is that people have to wake up,
and the question is, how uncomfortable do
you have to become before you make up your mind to change something?