Film Courage: Following up on something you said earlier, you joked about there not being
a career.
Do you feel like this every time one job ends because you are essentially…it’s like
shaking up a snow globe it up [trying to drum up new work]?
Dar Dixon, Actor: Absolutely!
Oh my gosh yes.
I can’t remember what happened but I was talking to someone who had the kind of typical
“Oh you are working in TV and Film?
Oh my gosh.”
And I’m thinking You know man, I’m on set, the lights are on, the camera is going,
the mic is hot, the crew is standing around, they are setting up the shot, changing the
lens, relighting something (whatever it is).
There’s a little bit of a break.
I’ve got my cell phone out and I’m answering emails, I’m sending off texts looking for
work, returning phone calls if I’ve got a second without interrupting everybody else
and then put it away and go back into it.
Hustling right on the set, in the trailer, in the makeup chair.
It never ends so I always feel like that.
I think every actor does.
I’ve never heard any actor not saying that unless you are lucky enough and you get your
own show or you have a proper movie career where it keeps on coming but even then it’s
an up and down and you just never know.
Film Courage: That being said, why do you think people fail at it?
Dar: Fail at what?
Film Courage: Fail at having consistent acting work?
Dar: That’s a big question.
There are a number of factors at play but if I kind of pull out and take the meta view
of it or the 30,000-foot-view.
Like if you’re in a plane 35,000-foot whatever it may be I think people probably aren’t
clear with what they want.
And I also think that most people don’t investigate themselves and know themselves
well enough and don’t manage their emotional states better because ultimately everything
is a psychological game, ultimately right?
Because we’re all out there and everybody here is talented.
Everyone is talented, ridiculously talented.
The competition level is high.
And I played college sports and I’ll never forget when I got to college and played football
it was like “Oh my gosh.
These guys are all so talented.
Wow!”
Right?
Then it becomes a mental game, a psychological game.
Managing your emotions, staying focused, making sure that you are not giving some kind of
crazy meaning to something that happened that doesn’t help you, doesn’t serve you and
push you down the field or the path towards whatever it is you want being clear (your
goal) and that you notice when you start to go off course.
Maybe a crazy emotional reaction to something or it gives you a bad feeling or whatever
right?
Those things are important and I think that’s a long-winded answer but that’s why more
people aren’t as successful as they could be and work more often.
Generally speaking…that is a big question.
But generally speaking I would say to start there.
Film Courage: I just looked at a book recently and it was called…I won’t say who the
person was because I don’t want to sort of break their anonymity even though there
is a book out about them but they basically said it was the female so-and-so.
Saying that this person could have become the male version of a major star if they had
managed their emotions, other things, drinking was another.
So they [the author] showed this person’s rise from obscurity as the poor relation in
their family to their subsequent downfall and just how sad this was.
I thought it was interesting because it could be a metaphor for a lot of people and it is
managing…because crazy things can happen in Los Angeles.
And I like what you said about not overacting or managing emotions and it’s a real skill.
Dar: It is a skill and it’s one that you have to work at to develop because it’s
not something we are taught.
That would be a really, really critical foundational course that should be in the educational system
if you’re asking me and I don’t know if you are but that’s a life skill that is
invaluable.
And I’ve got my nerdiness and one of my things is to study people who have been massively
successful and influential across a broad spectrum of disciplines and industries.
And let me ask you, what do you think would be the common denominator with the most successful
people (and I know that’s what does successful mean)?
So let’s just say financially, spiritually, emotionally, psychologically, psychically.
The most successful people, what would you think is is the most common trait that they
have?
Film Courage: From what I’ve seen, I think people who are just obsessed with something.
It doesn’t even mean that they are good people or bad people, anywhere on the spectrum
of intentions but I think being so obsessed with whatever they are into whether it’s
acting, whether it’s stock trading, whether it’s real estate, whether it’s painting,
whether it’s meditation.
I’ve seen people who’ve just had a laser focus with something, they are obsessed with
it and it’s their life 7 days a week.
Dar: That is a very common answer and it’s certainly necessary, the seminal book that
Napoleon Hill wrote Think and Grow Rich “you have to have that burning desire.
White, hot burning desire.”
Which in today’s world is like “I’m obsessed.”
Everybody says obsessed.
It’s not necessarily the best word to use but it’s the word of the day.
So yes that’s it but the trait that people see (that’s kind of a given), self-compassion.
Film Courage: Wow…so sort of self-awareness or?
Dar: Self-compassion.
Film Courage: Self-compassion.
Can you take me through what that would be?
Dar: Sure.
Self-empathy.
Film Courage: So not beating up on one’s self.
Dar: There you go.
Film Courage: Interesting.
I would not have guess that.
Dar: Neither would I but they all do.
Film Courage: Where did you learn this?
Dar: From just reading and studying different people, male/female, different industries,
different disciplines, different races, origins.
You are going to make mistakes, you are going to right?
Since we’re talking about acting and this is Film Courage and writing.
There’s a lot of writers that watch this and…I mean what writer do you know that
doesn’t beat themselves up?
What actor do you know that doesn’t beat themselves up?
Right?
Like there’s that neurosis that’s always sitting on this shoulder here, that anxiety
of here “What are they thinking about me?”
It’s like dude, give yourself a break.
Relax, right?
Because reality is most people aren’t even thinking about you.
Film Courage: That’s true.
Dar: They are thinking about themselves.
P.S.
Yes, they are having the same conversation in their head that you are.
Film Courage: And they are thinking that you are thinking this about them.
Dar: We’re all human beings.
Give yourself a break, you are doing the best you can do with what you have at that time.
And if you are obsessed as we say or you have that burning desire (whatever it may be) then
just trust that you are going to make mistakes but that’s how you learn.
Mistakes are a great thing.
I never used to think that way.
I wonder how that sounds?
It sounds probably crazy to say but mistakes are a blessing man.
You got problems?
It means you’re still alive.
There’s an old story where a guy and his son are driving through town and the kid is
talking about problems, problems, problems.
“Dad I just wish I didn’t have any problems.”
They drive by the graveyard and the dad says “You know the one place where they don’t
have problems?”
And he points to the graveyard “Problems are good.
They’re a sign of life son.”
Yes, it’s the truth though right?
You are going to make mistakes, that’s how you learn.
Pain is the greatest teacher there is.
Everyone runs from it to their detriment, myself included.
Film Courage: I find this very interesting.
So let’s suppose instead you fail an audition or someone tells you you’re horrible (whatever)…
Dar: I’ve never done that so I don’t if I can relate?
Film Courage: Instead of sort of reenacting Nicholas Cage’s character in LEAVING LAS
VEGAS being more like “I’m going to go for a hike.
I’m going to take care of myself.”
That’s not as sexy and glamorous though.
I think a lot of us…Julia Cameron said tortured artist get way more attention and pats on
the back than healthier ones.
I wonder if we fall into almost wanting to be a tortured artist?
Because it gets more attention and people like you more?
Then if everything is great people are going to be like “Oh, I hate this person.”
Dar: Yes it can definitely happen but it’s kind of a bull crap narrative it really is.
Film Courage: Tell me.
Dar: Well like you just said it’s not as sexy and glamorous and it’s ironic because
who is glamorized it?
Our industry did.
And so the same thing with painters, Van Gough took his ear off.
Nobody knew who he was.
Everybody thought he was batty crazy and now he’s worshipped and adored but he’s not
around for it anymore.
It happens, I understand it.
I don’t want to poopoo it.
It’s tough, I’ve wrestled with it and still do.
I’m not immune to it by any stretch of the imagination.
But yes, you’ve got to give yourself a break, do the best you can and I can’t even believe
I still work.
I look back at some of my old work and I just…you cringe.
I cringe like “Oh my gosh?”
Right?
The imposter syndrome when they say one of these days they’re going to figure out you
have know idea what you’re doing.
Everyone feels that way.
I’ve had the good fortune of knowing, dining with, being friendly with world leaders and
senators and federal judges and civil rights leaders and they all have the similar…everyone
across the board, everyone feels like that.
I think it would be more helpful if we all hear that more often and realize that more
often and okay I feel like a fraud and yes…they can probably see that my eye is twitching
or they can probably hear my stomach gurgling or I shouldn’t have had that garlic last
night or whatever it may be and you just say forget it, I’m going to go ahead and do
it anyway.