Hello my fellow art makers and art therapy lovers - I want to ask, do you find
yourself running away or resisting your feelings? do you struggle with connecting
with your emotions and really feeling them?
often times we have a complicated relationship with emotions. we like to
run away, deny, suppress, manipulate, or just wish them away. we do this
especially with pain fear and stress. so perhaps you can identify some of these
common ways that we cope with emotions:
first we like to deny - this is pretending that we're not feeling a certain way
we're not angry or stressed out and we show the world that we got it together.
we also run away or distract ourselves constantly - we do this with a lot of
different things like new events, new projects, new relationships, foods or
drinking or drugs and shopping. we also disconnect - maybe we haven't cried for
years or we always feel neutral or just kind
of empty inside. perhaps we suppress our feelings, so we put it out of our
conscious life which can be an automatic process too (we may not voluntarily do
this) but perhaps our dreams kind of show us a glimpse of the things that we have
suppressed. another common way we cope with emotions is to control or
manipulate them - this is when we force ourselves to feel better. and also we
wallow in the emotions or be controlled by the emotions which are very
different from all the things that I've described so far but this is when
emotions kind of hit you like a wave and you become consumed by it but you don't
understand what's happening or we just become reactive or impulsive without
seeming reason.
another thing that we often do with emotions is we condemn ourselves when we
feel them so perhaps you are aware of your emotions but maybe the problem is
that you condemn yourself for having these motions or you judge yourself and
it becomes a negative spiral or cycle of just negative emotions leading to more
negative emotions.
it's okay to use these coping mechanisms as a way to temporarily hold these
feelings at a distance to make it safe and then come back to that when we're
ready but what often happens is we disconnect from these feelings without
the intent to address them again so it becomes months, years, and even a lifetime
goes by without us really looking into what's inside of us. I used to do all of
these things; I used to shop, I used to mindlessly eat things that
really didn't helped my health.
but this was before I learned the power of emotions and learned how to use them
to my advantage to empower myself instead of disempowering myself; to be
conscious of them without being flooded by them or being controlled by those
emotions. art was a powerful medium that let myself turn this around completely.
we somehow learned that emotions are dangerous. we cannot deal with them and
we shouldn't let them be here. the thing is nobody really teaches us how to do
this - we all have to learn how to deal with emotions after we have become
adults so how do we deal with them? we deal with them like Rumi. Rumi is
a Sufi poet who wrote lots of poems and I really love his work. let me share a
little poem by Rumi called "The Guest House:" this being human is a
guesthouse, every morning a new arrival, a joy a depression a meanness, some
momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor. welcome and
entertained them all! even if they are a crowd of sorrows who violently sweep
your house and empty of its furniture still treat each guest honorably.
He maybe clearing you out for some new delight. the dark thought, the shame, the
malice, meet them at the door laughing and invite them in. And be grateful for
whatever comes because each has been sent as a guide from beyond. what Rumi is
teaching us in this poem is about mindfulness - to be with whatever Life
brings us no matter what it is. it is truly a practice of acceptance of being
open and committing ourselves to greet each emotion with faith and compassion.
sometimes we think acceptance is weak and that we should resist or condemn
certain emotions, but think this: acceptance is powerful
it is an act of courage of compassion and of faith faith that you are stronger
and bigger than the emotion, the pain. faith that you can hold this
difficult emotion in your hands look at it straight in the eye and acknowledge
it is there. all the emotion really wants in your life is to be acknowledged be
understood and be accepted by you.
there's a reason why this emotion is here now it has a purpose to serve in
your life. I want to share a little activity to practice this acceptance
read Rumi's poem and then create a picture
of that guesthouse and include visitors to your house.
what guests are there? are they coming to your house or are they already in your
house? where would you be? this activity can help us understand where we are
right now and what we can work on in terms of practicing more mindfulness
acceptance and compassion with our emotions. no emotion is wrong or bad.
all are welcome in art therapy. if you want to explore more about your emotions
and discover in depth about who you are into your own art I have spots open for
a one-to-one online therapeutic art sessions. you can see more information in
the link in the description box.
there is pain and then there is suffering. all of us can experience
something negative in our lives but we also pile on additional suffering on top
of it because we try to run away from the pain or resist it. there is power in
letting go of resistance and truly sitting, truly being with whatever comes
up. thank you for listening and watching. I'll talk to you next time