Hi.
In this video, I'm going to share one magic phrase
that's going to help you attract better love.
[music]
Hi, there.
Mat Shaffer here, your empowerment connection and relationship coach.
I'm a former attorney who decided to use his powers for good
and he's dedicated his life to supporting women like you
to create better, more fulfilling relationships with men.
I'm really excited to share with you this magic phrase that I use
with my clients, my students all the time that really helps them reframe
their past, let go of what's not serving them,
and create amazing love and results in their life.
Before I do, take a second, hit that little subscribe button,
don't forget to click the link in the comments and caption
because I've created some great training that I guarantee
is going to make a great difference in your dating and relationship life.
Before I tell you this phrase,
I want you to understand why it's so important.
Let's look at human behavior.
We tend to operate by patterns, especially when it comes to relationship,
and we attach to those patterns.
Say, when it comes to being in a relationship with men,
you might say to your friends or even to yourself,
"I always end up with selfish men,"
or "I always end up with men who are narcissists.
My relationships are always this, my relationships are always that."
When you're saying that "always", all you're doing is you're acknowledging
that pattern that has been a part of your life.
It's happened so much and so often,
now you've created a label where you say,
"Well, this is always what happens."
If you're taking that pattern and you're labeling it with "always",
"I'm always taking advantage of in a relationship," what are you doing?
You're taking it out of the past and you're bringing it
into the present and into the future.
If you use that kind of language when you're talking about patterns
especially the ones that don't serve you, all you're doing is perpetuating them
in the present and the future by declaring,
"That this is always the way that it is,"
or, "I'm just the kind of person who gets taken advantage
of over and over and over again in a relationship.
I always give my identity away to my partner." Guess what?
I want to give you a phrase that's going to interrupt that pattern.
What I want you to do is anytime you want to express a pattern
that you've had in your life, that you want to change,
that you want to stop, that you want to interrupt,
I want you to use these three magic words,
"up until now."
"I was taken advantage of by men, up until now."
I gave away my power to the man I was in relationship with,
up until now."
"I haven't found a worthy man up until now."
Can you see the power of that phrase?
This is a transformational phrase that has worked so well
for so many of my clients, and why do you think that is?
Because when we say
"up until now,"
what you're saying is, I recognize and I'm aware of this pattern
that I've had, which is important.
It is really important to be aware of our patterns.
You're saying,
"I'm aware of this pattern that I've had up until now,
and I'm committed to embracing different patterns moving forward.
I'm committed to releasing this pattern that no longer serves me
because right now, this present moment, is my creation point.
Right now, this present moment is where I'm choosing
to take a different path."
Look at the power, look at the empowerment it's created
when you say,
"Up until now, I didn't trust men."
I want you to look at your life, I want you to look at your relationships
and I want you to really pay attention moving forward
to how you talk about behavior and patterns
in your past that you no longer want.
Anytime that you are expressing a pattern that you are ready
to let go of at the beginning, the middle, or the end,
I want you to add on
"up until now"
so that you're declaring to the person you're talking to, to yourself,
and to the world that you are not going to be beholden
to that pattern anymore and the patterns of your past
do not define your present or your future, deal?
I hope you enjoyed this video.
I hope you go out and you use that phrase.
I hope it becomes a part of your daily language
because it can be a major force for change in your life.
If you enjoyed this video,
if this resonated with you, take a second, hit that little subscribe button,
and don't forget to click the link in the comments or caption,
I've created an awesome training that I know is going to help
you big time in your relationships and in your dating.
Thank you so much, and I'll see you next time on my Youtube Channel.
Bye-Bye.