Hi there this is Clay and welcome back to day number two on our little series.
We're going through the common excuses that people give for wanting to leave a relationship
or for breaking up with people.
And if you remember a couple of weeks ago I sent you a little question where I was asking
you, what was the excuse that your ex gave you for wanting to break up with you?
And you know, we've got a ton of responses.
We got hundreds of responses from people and we looked through them and we came up with
some really common threads.
And so this little video series that we're on right now, we're going to be basically
answering the most common excuses that people sent in and telling you how you can respond
to those so that you can get back together with your ex and move past any excuse that
they gave you for breaking up.
So the one that we're going to talk about today is that, you know, oh, we're just not
compatible anymore or we just don't have anything in common and we're just too different from
each other.
And first of all, I want to say that I believe that the whole idea of compatibility is a
myth.
I think it's an illusion actually.
I'm really, you can have relationships where one person is completely different from the
other and they make it work.
You know, maybe one person is like a Vegan, the other person eats meat and has a whole
omnivorous diet and everything, but they make it work, you know, it's not, they're not like
they're butting heads all the time or our relationship where like maybe the woman is
really outgoing and charismatic and the guy is more kind of shy, reserved, doesn't like
to go out very much stays in and reads books and stuff like that.
But they make it work.
How do they do it?
How do they do when, you know, other people might say, oh, we're just not compatible or
we're just too different.
And the reason is because, I think the whole compatibility thing is really a notion of
respect.
It's notion of trusting one another end of really being devoted to one another because,
you know, when you respect someone, when you're first getting to know them, when you're first
dating him and all that, all of those differences, all of those quirks, all of those little things
that make you seem, you know, different are, are amusing.
They're interesting.
They're, they're kind of exciting, you know, like I'm more of a quiet, reserved person.
And because more of an outgoing social person and I liked that about her, I think it, it
kind of teaches me more about myself and teaches me more about how to interact with other people
and gets me out of my comfort zone.
And I'd like to think that I've taught her more about how to enjoy downtime, how to enjoy
just kind of chilling out, reading a book or something like that.
I don't know, but, but, you know, there's that whole notion of respect and, and a devotion
towards one another that as it deteriorates, starts to turn those quirky little differences
that may be cute, amusing, fun, interesting.
Even, you know, attractive, it starts to turn them into like, oh, well we just don't have
anything in common.
And, and what you need to do in order to reverse that is you need to really start to build
that trust between you and your ex.
And you might be thinking, okay, well how do I really build trust between my ex and
I went and were broken up?
And the way that you do that is you have to really cultivate a, the relational skill of
commitment and really enforcing it your personal boundaries.
Okay?
You know, we've talked about relational skills before and the one of commitment is really
about not necessarily committing to a relationship or to a person or like, yeah, I'm committed
to getting my ex back.
It's more about committing to your own personal values, your own personal boundaries, your
own personal beliefs.
And when you can start to do that by using the exercises and skills that we teach you,
teach you inside of the ex solution program, you can really start to restore the amount
of respect and trust that your ex has for you.
And when that happens, they'll know that, you know, they can't just kind of brush you
off or take you for granted or anything like that.
And suddenly all of these differences between the two of you become desirable, attractive
things become things that can be, you know, cute, fun, desirable, interesting.
They can help you learn about one another and they're not just a sort of a blanket statement
for trying to get out of relationship.
They're not just an excuse for leaving the relationship.
But in order to do that, you have to really accept the idea that compatibilities and myth.
So today, right now, what I'd like you to do is I'd like you to make a decision.
I want you to decide whether or not you're going to go forward from here.
Still believing that, you know, oh, my action, I just weren't compatible.
You have to find someone who's like a clone of you in order to make a relationship work
and that, you know, compatibility is this, you know, mystical Unicorn that I need to
spend the rest of my life chasing down.
Or I want you to decide if you're willing to learn how to cultivate respect, trust,
and devotion in your relationship so that you can get past this compatibility myth and
get your ex to respect you more despite the things that may be different between the two
of you, so that you can come back together again so that you can appreciate each other
more again, so that you can love each other and More and have another shot at that relationship
that you want.
And if you'd like that second option, the one I just described, I'd really like to invite
you to join us inside the ex solution program where we can get started teaching you that
relational skill so that you can start to move forward with your relationship and your
life and bring the two of you back together.
Now, you know, like I told you yesterday, you can choose either way.
Either you want to believe in the myth or not. and that's totally fine.
I respect your decision either way.
I just want you to decide today whether or not you believe that you need to constantly
look for compatibility.
In a relationship or whether or not you would rather just build trust and devotion and respect
in your relationship so that you can come back together and heal from the breakup.
Again, the choice is completely up to you, to up to you.
I'm not telling you how to live your life.
I just think there are certain consequences for different decisions and I just want you
to make that decision today so that you don't have to constantly keep moving forward, deluding
yourself by believing into what I personally consider to be a myth and again, if you want
to learn how to overcome this compatibility myth, get more respect and devotion from your
ex.
I would really like to encourage you to go ahead and sign up below for the ex solution
program.
Thanks.
And tomorrow we're going to talk about another really common, a breakup reason.
And that is a lack of trust.
I don't, I just don't trust you anymore.
So I'm see you tomorrow then.
Thanks.