Our first guest is a CNN anchor who
just returned to work after recovering from COVID-19.
She wrote a powerful essay about what
it's like to battle a virus.
Please welcome Brooke Baldwin.
Ellen, this is so fun.
It was like, in the same week, I got
my coronavirus negative test, but the better part in the end
was the call from you.
I am such a fan.
Thank you so much.
Oh, thank you so much.
That's really sweet of you to say and nice to hear.
It's so fascinating, because we're all
talking to and hearing from different people who
have had this.
And all of the symptoms are different for everybody.
So first of all, you look good.
You look healthy.
You feel good right now?
Yeah, I feel solid.
I feel, like, maybe 90%.
I knew I was doing better when I was able to slow walk--
where's Andy--
slow walk to the Brooklyn Bridge.
So that was my--
there you are.
Slow walk.
I was slow walking.
There she is.
Slow walking.
Ellen, she's part of the movement.
All right.
Yes, no, I'm so much better.
I'm so much better.
So when you say--
well, we'll get to that in a second,
because I want to hear all about it.
But you posted a video of getting tested,
which in itself looks terrible.
I mean, they really have to shove that thing up your nose.
The doctors-- first of all, they have
you sit there in this chair.
And he's like, could you please put your head against the wall,
because the last thing you want to do
is walk out of the hospital with coronavirus and a concussion.
But you can see how deeply they shove that up.
He called it a brain tickler.
And it tickled something.
It did not feel great.
Wow.
Yeah, no, that looks horrible just in itself.
So when did you start noticing symptoms?
And was it the same-- because some people have a completely
different experience.
So what was yours?
Yeah, no, I watched your interview with Pink.
And I'm so glad she and her child are OK.
And I think it's not a cookie-cutter virus.
So for me, I had woken up one morning,
and I had just severe chills, and just wasn't feeling great,
but I wasn't in pain.
And so of course what did I do?
I blamed it on my husband and him turning off the heater
the night before, because it's been cold
here in New York City.
And I went about my daily-- went to work, was fine.
And then the next day, as I was at work,
that's when it really hit me.
And I had really deep chills.
I ultimately had a fever.
And kind of got through it, like how we tell ourselves.
I didn't want to tell anyone out loud
that I was feeling like crap.
Got through a two-hour--
I got through the one-hour show, and then came home,
crawled under a ton of blankets.
That's when my husband felt my forehand, took the took
the temperature.
It was a fever.
And that's when I was like, oh boy, this might be it.
And then your husband--
so you said he felt your forehead.
So obviously-- and you're living together.
Did he get it?
He didn't, thank goodness-- or at least that we think.
I'd love to get him an antibody test to see if he truly
is Superman or not.
But no, he hasn't gotten it.
And he was able to take care of me,
thank goodness, the whole horrible two weeks.
Yeah, so it was two weeks for you.
What shocked me was around day nine or 10--
and this is the part about the virus that's so frustrating
and sad--
is that it hit me the worst farther in.
And that's when I had the worst fever, and the worst chills,
and the worst body aches.
And it's incredibly frustrating.
And there were more than a few tears in my house.
Wow.
Well, first of all, I always know when
I have a fever because I cry.
If I have a fever at all, I cry.
So I can't imagine-- if I got this thing,
I can't imagine what I would be like.
Because any fever-- like Portia that doesn't even
have to take my temperature.
If I'm crying, I have a fever.
But besides the aches-- because I
read about the taking the baths and stuff--
but what is the hardest about this virus?
Like what hurts the most?
Such a good question.
I think, beyond the physicality of it-- the aches, the chills,
the fever--
it's how it messes with you emotionally.
So for me, it would get worse in the evenings.
And when the body aches would start
in the late afternoon/early evening,
it was not knowing what was to come.
It was, when would the night beast arrive?
And it was, when would it end?
I just want to interject.
Brooke's essay was amazing, because it really
took through the whole journey.
Yeah, it really was.
I think that it would be interesting for everybody
to write the way you did so that you really understand it.
Because to be able even have the strength to journal it
and to do that--
and you wrote in the essay about a silver lining.
So tell everybody what that silver
lining is that you found.
Yeah, I mean, listen, I wouldn't wish this virus on anyone.
But I think when we are knocked on our butts
and really end up with a ton of time on our hands
and feeling like crap, you go to a deeper place.
And so for me, I think it was both--
I had some serious clarity as I was my sickest,
and I also was so blessed with the gift of connection.
So in terms of clarity, it's like, we're all so busy,
and we've got stuff on the calendar in normal times,
right?
And we've got distractions and everything else.
But when you have coronavirus and when
you are feeling so bad, for me, I just stop thinking,
and I went deep into feeling.
And for me that meant thinking a lot about joy.
I was like, Brooke, why don't you go to the beach more often?
Or I thought about my career and my path.
And I thought, of course I want to continue my day job of being
a journalist, but I really want to pursue
this other path of creating inspirational television
for women.
Or about-- I got my mom on the phone
and told her to get off the sofa and onto this treadmill that
was collecting dust in her basement.
Like, enough, I need more of you.
And I think when it comes to connection-- as a journalist,
my resting state is like, OK, let's not talk about me,
let's talk about you.
I want interview you.
That's when I'm most comfortable.
And so when I suddenly receive all of these texts,
and emails, and Instagram DMs from all these people, Ellen,
I mean, at first, to be honest, I didn't feel worthy.
And it felt vulnerable.
But I realized that vulnerability
leads to greater connection.
And that's when I really leaned into the love, and the support,
and the prayers.
And that is what honestly helped get me through.
Well, now I feel guilty for not reaching out to you.
But I didn't know you.
But even though I didn't know you--
[LAUGHS]
All right, we're going to take a break,
and we'll talk more with Brooke after this.
Hey, we're back with Brooke Baldwin.
We haven't gone anywhere.
Where are we going to go?
We're back.
I mean, we've been here.
I'm so happy that you're back at work.
And it must be so great to just be on the air again and working
again.
It is.
I'll admit, I was--
you know, you've done this job for a long time.
You get used to talking to people and being on television.
But for me, I'll admit, as I was walking in that studio,
I felt my heart go, sweaty palms.
I felt nervous.
But I think it's because I have a stake in this
now as a journalist as I talk to these family members right who
have loved ones in the hospital.
Which again, I was one of the lucky ones,
and never have to deal with the severity of the virus that way.
But I care a lot.
And I think that--
I love getting nervous because it tells me I care.
Well, I know that you have a lot of help.
You have Sanjay Gupta, who I would just be
on the phone with him nonstop.
I mean, was he your first call?
He's a busy guy, Ellen.
He's a busy guy.
I mean, I know I ended up with coronavirus,
but I didn't want to blow him up too much.
But he was one of my first texts, I will say.
But I didn't want to bother him too much.
Didn't want to take advantage of that.
Well, all right, I love that you're healthy now.
And you want to help people who are still sick.
I know you're trying to get FDA-approved antibody tests,
right?
Yeah, so I'm trying to get an antibody test.
It's amazing how many tests are out there.
But how many of those tests are actually reliable and accurate?
So number one, we need to get on that.
And number two, I want to be able to donate my plasma.
So a plasma test-- basically since I've had coronavirus,
I now have antibodies in my blood
that can attack the virus.
And so it's my understanding-- and I'm not Dr. Baldwin here,
but from what I've read, I think I can then give my blood,
and by giving my blood I can help at least four people--
potentially saving their lives-- who are sick.
So I'm really hoping to do that.
Yeah.
That's amazing.
I hope that that's all true and works.
You lost your sense of smell and taste.
Not everybody does, but you did.
And I heard there's something that you really, really missed.
And what is that?
[EMBARRASSED CHUCKLE]
Yes.
I miss champagne.
I miss bubbly.
I almost have it all back but not entirely.
But I cannot wait to taste the perfect--
I'm a champagne gal.
I love it and I can't wait.
Well, I'm glad you're feeling better.
If you'll just go to your door, there's
something outside your door for you.
[SQUEALS]
Did your husband bring it in?
Hold on.
Let me see if I can pick it up.
Oh, no, there's no way I can.
Hold on, let me move my--
look at this.
I cannot believe-- of course you did,
because you're Ellen DeGeneres.
Of course you did.
Yeah.
You guys.
When you get your taste back, enjoy, and raise a glass
to just being an amazing person and sharing your experience
with everyone.
Thank you so much.
I'm so glad you're back on the air, I can see you again.
And next time I'll know to reach out to people
that, even if I don't know them, if I feel like I should reach
out, I think that's one thing we should all learn about,
is reaching out and being kind to people
that we have a connection with.
So thank you so much, Brooke.
You can read Brooke's essay on CNN,
and watch weekdays on "CNN Newsroom."
And we'll be back after this.
Brooke, thank you so much.
Bye, Brooke.
Thank you.