With a franchise-ruining sequel slash reboot on the horizon
It's time to celebrate the 30th anniversary of the film you loved as a child of the 80's,
Or the cartoon you loved as a child of the 90's,
Or the theme song you sort of recognize as a child of today:
"Who ya gonna call?"
GHOSTBUSTERS.
Before Harold Ramis passed away,
Bill Murray became a professional party crasher,
And Dan Aykroyd went batshit crazy,
"I don't think we will ever have a formal relationship, a formal contact, with any alien
species out there. Especially after 9/11."
They were the Ghostbusters: old looking, out of touch, out of shape nerds.
"When we get to 20, tell me. I'm gonna throw up."
Yep, this is what movie stars looked like in '84, kids.
When there's something strange in your neighborhood, there's only one group of unlicensed heavily
armed, disgraced college professors you can call:
The Ghostbusters.
"Ghostbusters, what do ya want?"
There's Spengler. A nerd.
"I collect spores, molds and fungus."
Ray. A nerd.
"And if the ionization rate is constant for all ectoplasmic entities, we could really
bust some heads -- in the spiritual sense, of course."
Venkman. A borderline sexual predator.
"Will you stay here in bed til I get back?"
And Winston. Who was supposed to be played by Eddie Murphy, but got more or less written
out of the movie when he passed on the role.
And eventually cropped out on home video, too.
When ghosts rise from the dead to haunt New York, the Ghostbusters are the only thing
between the city and total chaos
Causing the media to run glowing profiles of their successful business
Instead of the fact that GHOSTS EXIST AND ARE HAUNTING NEW YORK!
But it's nothing the Ghostbusters can't handle:
they've got the car,
The gadgets,
And the vaguely scientific know-how to put evil in its place.
"10 people witnessed a free-floating, full-torso, vaporous apparition."
"Ectoplasmic residue!"
"Complete particle reversal!"
"Total protonic reversal."
"Focused, non-terminal repeating phantasm."
"Four fold cross-rip."
"You have been a participant in the biggest interdimensional cross-rip since the Tunguska
Blast of 1909!"
"It felt great!"
I'm pretty sure he made half of that stuff up.
Slide down the firepole and into a PG-rated movie that children loved, even though it's
full of
Cursing,
"Oh sh*t."
"Sh*t."
"I have seen sh*t that'll turn you white!"
"What an a**hole."
"This man has no dick."
Casual smoking,
Boob grabbing,
And ghost head.
Whoa. Kid's movies were way better back in the day.
So grab your stick,
"Grab your stick!"
Heat em up,
"Heat em up!"
Make em hard,
"Make em hard!"
And don't cross the streams
"Don't cross the streams."
as the Ghostbusters take down the best snobs the 80's had to offer
"You are a poor scientist, doctor."
"Exactly what are you a doctor of?"
"$5000? I had no idea it'd be so much. I won't pay it."
And imprison hundreds of innocent creatures who don't do much besides
Read,
Eat,
Drive,
And uhh...
Uh...
"I feel so funky"
Umm...
"I feel like the floor of a taxicab"
Let's say... Ooze?
Starring...
Bill You Murray Me?
Funny Dan Aykroyd
Egon But Not Forgotten
Sick Horny Weaver
80's Dick
Young Old Larry King
Flubber
Dark Helmet
David Bowie
Not Eddie Murphy
Fat Casper
The Dad from Family Matters?
And Ron Jeremy?!
Whoa, no way!
Ghostbusters.
Kids, this was called a "library." It's like a printout of Wikipedia where you have
to be quiet.
"Shhhhh!"