what is up everybody this is Chris from the rewired soul where we talk about the
problem but focus on the solution and I just found out sadly that demi lovato
relapsed and a lot of people have been doing reaction videos to her song sober
by lovely girlfriend just informed me of this so I decided I'll do a reaction so
I just celebrated six years sober I am somebody who has relapsed many many many
times I believed in me Lovato and I had around the same clean date so when my
girlfriend told me this I was like wait she must have just really recently
realized because her clean date was right around the same time as mine so I
found that very interesting but in this video I want to give my reaction to her
song the lyrics I'm gonna be pausing it I'm gonna be talking I'm gonna try to
give advice on how to deal with relapse and then towards the end of the video
I'm going to talk a little bit about my thoughts and opinions on her situation
and her relapse and what she should do moving forward and I'm not an expert or
anything but just a guy who is in recovery and works with a lot of clients
who are trying to stay clean too so without further ado let's watch this
this is her live performance I believe from Portugal or something like that
anyways let's watch it like I said I'll be pausing try not to get annoyed but I
do want to discuss some of the lyrics of this song let's go
I do not do service goodbyes call me when it's over
wake me when the shapes are gone the cold sweats disappear call me when it's
over myself
systems are just wanna cater don't wanna fight I trying to trying to trying to
trying to charge asshole
all right so the the first little section right there like she's talking
about the withdrawals I like the shaking and the cold sweats
and everything like that I'm not sure what substances she relapsed on I think
one of her substances of choice was alcohol yeah yeah it was definitely
alcohol I did a video that I'm gonna link up in the description on her her
documentary as she did on YouTube it's phenomenal ice highly suggest you write
check it out but anyways yeah like the withdrawal is terrible like on my video
that I did about opiate withdrawal I've also done about one about alcohol
withdrawal like one of the things that keeps me sober on a day to day basis
especially when like life's getting rough where the cravings are coming and
things like that is I never ever ever ever want to forget how terrible
withdrawal is and she's saying like wake me up you know when it's over
um this next part I'm not sure if it's the course I think it's of course and
she's saying that she tries and tries and you know she's done this over and
over and over again and she says it only happens when she's lonely and my best
suggestion to anybody out there who is struggling to stay clean or you're in
early recovery right the best thing that you can do and I say it's my secret to
recovery it's not a huge secret look at everything in the past that has caused
you to relapse like Demi's acknowledging that being lonely is what makes her
relapse like so I know that when I isolate I have talked to all of you so
many times about isolation how terrible it is like it's so important for me to
not be in that place like when I'm feeling lonely when I'm feeling isolated
like it forces me like I have to force myself rather to go out reach out and
connect with other people
on the floor to the ones we've been wrong people
that's that's one of the cool things about being a celebrity you know like I
guess cool like am I being able to have this outlet you know and this is why I
recommend all of you find some kind of creative outlet if it's not music
writing or something like that like she's able to talk through this stuff
like man relapse sure it sucks and like going to people and letting them know my
last relapse lasted me about a year and a half because I didn't want to say
those sorry's I didn't want to go to my my mom my dad my baby mama you know my
friends and all these people who I let down an amazing song that I really need
to do a breakdown on is McLemore starting over but it's very
inspirational that song but as well as this one where you're like you're being
an example of like getting back up and trying this thing again because so many
people relapse and they just want to give up
make another way you say for you
like that's just got a weird I think like people just hear the word fans and
they started screaming but like her lyrics are saying like I'm sorry for the
fans I lost like it's not like a scream it's kind of like when you're on
Facebook and you post something about like being miserable or depressed or
something terrible happening if somebody like gives it a thumbs up that's what
I'm glad like Facebook might put all the other little reaction things that you
can do because like when somebody like gives a thumbs up or in this case cheers
when you're saying something like not good you were kind of like did you
really understand what I was trying to say anyways so yeah but anyways you know
breaking that down like she's taught she talks first about the people who have
never left her side is that buyer like so this last weekend I just got to see
one of my best friends in Southern California she came with me my son my
girlfriend did Courtney Beach day and I have a but not a bunch I have a you know
a small handful of friends who stuck by me through the relapses and stuck by me
through my recovery too and they never left my side and some people are gonna
leave you know like all of you and this is something I say all the time like all
of you right now like you're meeting the best version of
me you're meeting me right you love me I'm amazing that's a joke calm down but
there's a lot of people out there who still think I'm a jerk for the things
that I did before you know but there are people who stuck with me through all of
this um but yeah there are people who are going to leave and that's you know
that's the thing like every day I always say this people do every day you got to
wake up and say what's your motivation for staying clean and some days you
don't want to stay clean for yourself but some days you got to stay clean for
other people like you don't want to lose those people you don't want to hurt
those people you don't want to harm those people you know what I mean and
that's something that helps keep me clean today but anyways I'm gonna touch
some more on people sticking by you towards the end
I do it every every every time it's only
sometimes I just wanna cave in I don't wanna fight by trying I'm trying and
trying and trying to try just hole
and and real quick like that that part where you know she talks about like
eventually you know she she just caves in and she doesn't want to try anymore
and stuff and like man this is why we really got to work on a mental health
especially if you're in a recovery if you're a recovering addict like man like
in early recovery like your first year of recovery you gotta like glue your
hands to the chair and just not pick up a drink or a drug no matter what like
that's pretty much all you got to do right you got to do this you got to do
some other stuff too but anyways like man my recovery and by by all means I
don't want to come off cocky or egotistical like I am a few bad
decisions away from relapsing myself but like I'm glad that you know because I'm
so passionate about working on my mental health I don't gotta fight anymore like
it's not a day-to-day struggle for me anymore if you asked me like today how I
deal with like cravings and urges to use like I'll have to sit there and think
about it for a while because they rarely ever happen and like it's us because
Dimmie you know she's a celebrity she is constantly being pounded with stress you
know what I'm saying and she also struggles some mental illnesses herself
and like these are all very very difficult and it makes it ten times
harder when you're a celebrity you know but man like she needs that support
group and I hope she's still working some type of program um
I could do a whole video about the lifestyle of things and demi lovato
specifically like I've seen just how she lives her life and sobriety based on the
documentary I watch and I'm like man that's risky but you know I've seen
people do it before but I do think there are some things in her lifestyle that
she chooses to do that have put her at a higher risk
we've been down this road before I'm so sorry
anymore
I'm sorry that I knew it wasn't my intention
dang girl dang preach it like that that's great
how she ends that song like and I'm sorry to myself like that that's huge
one of the the hardest things to do is just forgive yourself and to move
forward like the last person I really had to make an amends to was was myself
you know I I've mentioned this in other videos about when my mental health is
screwed up like I can beat myself up like nobody can like as much as we feel
like we let other people down like man we let ourselves down and we we can have
this in crazy internal dialogue you know what I mean
but anyways phenomenal phenomenal song I I just I love when celebrities do this
and they're open and vocal about recovery as well as relapse because it
inspires others unless other people know the last few minutes of this video I
just want to talk about kind of I don't know the article that my girlfriend sent
me was like oh Demi Lovato gets this outpouring of you know support from her
fans and everything like that and that's so cool I love it I love it like here's
my opinion just my opinion just me humble or me I'm in no body but this is
my opinion it's it's this it's this thing that there has to be a balance to
it right like and here's what I mean when too many people forgive you and
support you it they can be enabling alright it can be an enabler like when
you relapse and if everybody if everybody around you says it's okay it's
okay it's okay like there's a part of your brain you're addicted brain that
says see you can relapse it's not that bad people aren't that mad at you you
know what I mean and like it's it's dangerous but like I said you need that
you need people to forgive you you need people to support you like in 12-step
programs they say we don't shoot our wounded that's so so so important
the approach that I take with my clients okay when I get a call that somebody
relapse all right I I talk to him I say the first thing I say is I'm glad you're
alive all right first thing I say okay and then I give them real tough-love
I'm like you screwed up you screwed up really bad
okay then I'm like let's talk about it what led to this what are you gonna do
differently this time you know I have to let him know that
like what happened is not okay right we have to just make sure that even though
we're providing loved them with support and letting them know that we're not
leaving them and we still support them and doubt about it we also have to let
them know that you done messed up you messed up I made a video a long time ago
not a long time ago about Facebook support groups because sometimes that's
what I see in recovery Facebook support groups where people are like hey it's
okay it's okay don't worry and that's like all the comments all I'm like is
anybody gonna be like hey it's kind of not okay at the same time you know what
I mean like it's a balance it's a balance and like I I just I I don't know
how to express it in a way right don't sound like a jerk but I also don't sound
like an enabler but I hope it makes sense and I hope it comes with a balance
but here's the thing this is why I tell people to like Demi Lovato knows how to
stay sober she knows how to if she can go back and do what she did like she
knows what works okay so if you're out there and you had some sobriety a decent
length of sobriety I don't care whatever decent length of sobriety means to you I
don't care if it's a month two months three months a year six years whatever
it is I look back and say how did I do it the first time okay
well I know what keeps me sober for this long now what do I got to do after that
what do I got to do after that point okay all right but anyway it's like I
really enjoyed that song and hopefully Demi does well in her recovery and all
that but yeah if any of you have questions for me or if you have
suggestions on how to deal with relapse leave them down in the comments below
all right but anyways that's all I got for you today and if you like this video
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I'll see you next time