"My wife won't let me go out with friends."
My name is Paul Friedman, I founded The
Marriage Foundation
and you ought to subscribe to this
channel because there's a lot
you can learn about marriage just by
watching these videos that's going to
completely change your life
because our approach at The Marriage
Foundation is very
different than what is common knowledge
what is normal out there
so subscribe to this channel. Now, let's
get into this. Your wife won't let you go
out with friends
and I understand. She's not putting you
in a cage or anything but it
certainly puts pressure on you.
So there's something going on for her
and one of the rules of thumb
for marriage is
to avoid these kind of interactions
where someone is
set up to deny the other person.
And the way you do that is by
building the love in your marriage and
that's going to sound a little vague
but from your point of view as a man,
the way to do this is by
proactively learning
what's going on for her, really making an
effort which excludes
asking her. This is one of the big
mistakes
that men make. They ask women, "What's
going on?"
And women are not really good at
articulating
what's behind, and listen to this because
this is different,
what is behind their emotions? So what
they end up doing is they connect
to their emotions which is unsatisfying
both for you as the husband because
it doesn't make any sense. And literally
for her too
because what's really going on for her
is more visceral. So in this case what's
going on for her
is probably a
sense of insecurity. She doesn't feel
safe for some reason and that is wide
open.
It could be that she's afraid to be
alone.
It could be that she's afraid you're
going to step out on her.
It could be anything. And so your job
then becomes to
create the security for her
so that she's fine
and you have the ability to do that.
You're not going to turn this around
today. I could promise you that. There's
no
magic thing that you can say but there
is a magic thing that you can do
but it's going to take you time. You see
the problem is
that most marriages are not built
on its natural foundation of love.
We know we love each other but then we
get off
into a much more mundane
relationship with each other because
we've never
learned how to build that love
and build that happiness which are
the core reasons you get married in the
first place.
So I do suggest that you subscribe,
learn, get one of my books, learn that way
or you could even make the bold move and
get the course for men which is a
self-help course for men built within
the context of marriage so you get it
all
and that is how you deal with this. I
hope this was helpful.
Leave a like, leave a comment, leave a
question. I respond to these questions
here. The other alternative
is to go to themarriagefoundation.org
and click on the "Ask a Counselor" tab and
you could do it that way.
Thank you! God bless and take care!