- Hello, everyone.
I'm Lana and I will be your driving instructor.
I don't really drive much, but spiritually I'm an expert.
So, first, before we test drive, let's go over the basics.
Traffic light colors.
Can any of you tell me what the color red means
on a traffic light?
Yes.
- Red light means stop.
- No.
- N-no?
- Red only means stop
because that's what the law is telling you.
The big man is telling you to stop,
but do you know what red really stands for?
Roses.
- Roses?
- The most beautiful flower in the world.
That's what I want you to think of when you see red.
Don't stop, just roses.
Next color, yellow.
Yes.
- Yield or slow down and prepare to stop.
- Okay, can you tell me what letter yellow starts with?
- The letter Y?
- Correct, the letter Y.
Y for, "Yes, I can make it if I just speed up a little."
Say it with me.
- [Students] Yes, I can make it if I just speed up a little.
- And you can.
You will make it.
Just press on that gas before it changes.
The next color is one that people don't always know.
Green means go, right?
- Right. - Wrong!
It means go as fast as you (bleep) can
because we're all in a race called life!
Picture we're driving.
Moonlight is washing over you.
Your daddy is sitting next to you.
- My father?
- No, your daddy; there's a difference.
You met him at a speakeasy.
He's twice your age, but he's paying for this road trip,
so you don't care.
You have on red, his favorite color.
He watches you as you drive.
What do you do?
- I keep my eyes on the road.
- Except he's got a gun.
- What!? - What do you do?
- I-I look at him!
- And you're dead.
A truck came out of nowhere.
Never take your eyes off the road and never listen to daddy.
- But-- - Wait.
That could be the title
for the next album I'm never gonna release.
Someone write that down.
- Are you sure this is safe?
- Absolutely, trust me.
Have you ever seen the movie Bird Box?
- Yeah.
- Okay, well this is Lana Box.
Welcome inside my box.
- But I don't think I should be driving with a blindfold.
- Listen, before you see the road,
you need to feel the road.
You're gonna drive spiritually
and be in tune with your surroundings.
- If you say so.
- Okay, now press gently on the gas.
- Which pedal is that?
- You'll figure it out.
- We're gonna do some parallel parking.
- Okay, should I find a space?
- No, because parallel parking is about making space.
- What?
- When you see an inch, make it a mile.
We're gonna move these two cars to do that.
- You mean like hit them?
- How else are we gonna park?
- Find an empty spot maybe?
- We don't have time for that, now let's go.
Make sure you hit them at full speed.
Drive faster and keep your hands at 10 and four.
- I thought it was nine and three?
- At the end of the day,
you put your hands wherever you want,
consensually and spiritually.
- I feel like I'm going too fast.
- You're actually not going fast enough.
- But the speed limit says--
- The speed limit is just a guide.
You don't actually go that speed; you drive over it.
You should never limit yourself.
It's called a freeway,
because you're free to drive it your way.
Keep going forward.
Let the spirit guide you.
- I don't feel good about this!
- You're doing fine and I'm right here with you.
- You won't let us crash, right?
- Relax.
Nothing bad will happen.
(car rattling)
- What was that?
- A person. - What!?
- This is a good lesson for life.
- How?
- Because you always need to make your own way.
You can't wait for someone to move the cars for you.
- What about taking responsibility?
- Always; you should always take responsibility.
- So, should we leave insurance information and a note?
- This isn't my car, so.
(siren wailing)
- Oh my god, police!
W-What do I do!?
- It's fine, just pull over.
- [Officer] I'm gonna need your license and registration.
- I-- - Has anyone ever told you
you look amazing in that uniform?
- [Officer] Ma'am--
- I bet a lot of people hope they get arrested by you.
- [Officer] Ma'am, if you keep this up,
I'm gonna ask you to step out of the vehicle.
- The better question is,
do you mind stepping into my vehicle?
- I hit a person!?
Are they hurt!?
- Is there a reason why you stopped the car?
- I hit someone!
- He really shouldn't have been
sitting on the sidewalk like that.
- Wait, I was driving on the sidewalk!?
- For like a half-hour now, yeah.
- Oh my god!
- Apparently, your spirit seems to think we're on a bicycle
and not in a car.
- I quit.
- Fine, drive us back then.
And we're good.
You have successfully parallel parked.
- We've destroyed the cars.
- Please, it's a scratch at most.
(flames crackling)
- Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.
- I have everything under control.
- We're going to jail!
- I've finally become my lyrics.
We can mark this down as a success, spiritually.
♪ Simgm Productions ♪