Right, okay, this week Rosie wants to do "Testing Our Marriage"
I don't know what this means, she was like:
"Let's sit down, make a video
and I'm gonna...rule the roost."
I didn't say those words
So basically, I knew that Rose's nostrils flared sometimes
like, mainly when she's laughing
but I only found out the other day that they flare when she lies
That's not true
They're flaring now!
No, they're not!
What?
How did I find that out?
What were you lying to me about?
I told you!
Why did I do that?
Why- what were you lying about?
Probably something like
"Oh, I didn't sleep with her" or so
I don't know
So, there's only one rule of this game
It's that you have to answer honestly
Okay?
Easy, I'm a very honest person
Ask anybody! - Right let's be honest
Right, look me in the eye
Okay
Tell me
During our relationship... - Yes
...and marriage,
have I ever gained weight?
Yes
Wow!
So you're saying I've gained weight
No
Nope, I am not saying that... - Yeah, yeah, you said that
...is it a trick question?
No, it's just a question - Are you talking about...
your physical appearance or your inner self?
My physical appearance
Yeah
So you...so I've gained weight
No you see, I wasn't talking about you... - No
...right, I was talking about you, like your subconscious
has gained weight, you know why?
'Cause your insecurities weigh you down and they shouldn't
Rose
Don't...yeah?
How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
You...
...why are you- how would a vegan know that answer?
If you wanna turn a fox into an elephant, right...
Yeah, it's really simple
...you shave it
No - Okay
You...send it to elephant school
No
You send it to Disney
Rose, let's think about this
How do you turn a FOX into an ELEPHANT
Okay...give it a trunk
You marry it
Righ-
That's the funniest joke I've ever heard in my life!
Really?
No
I didn't make it up myself
So, just to be 100% clear
the whole idea of this game is, I have to answer honestly?
Yeah
And if I answer honestly, I pass the test?
Yes
Have you ever fancied one of the lesbian youtubers?
Like, what- define 'fancy'
Fancy!
Like 'had feelings for'?
Yeah
Or 'appreciate the beauty'?
Attraction
Attraction?
ATTRACTION?
Yeah, attraction
What kind of attraction?
Sexual attraction?
Yeah
Uuuuuhm...no
Am I good in bed?
Yes
Tell me the truth!
I am telling you the truth!
Out of ten? - Out of ten?
Mmm
Honestly? - Mmm
Honestly? Out of ten? - Mmm
An eight
I know why
Why?
I've got lazy
Yeah
That's- it's just pure laziness
Yup
I know I can do better!
Really? And yet you don't?
Sometimes I do!
Hmm...yeah, but...
When I have like...props
You don't even use the lightsabers anymore
You could technically go
that extra mile
I- I actually mean you go the mile
and let me do what I need to do on my own
How am I out of ten in bed?
Eight
Why?
You joking?
'Cause you always go to me first
and then...
...then you blame me for going first
Oh yeah, I do that
Yeah
I want to experiment more
Yup
In the bedroom
Fine
So how would you feel...
Orienteering
Pokémon Go
I don't like threesomes because I've got OCD and I don't like odd numbers
Was it because you were kicked out
of that one threesome you tried to have
and you're scarred for life?
Cos I can change all that
No... that's not the reason
May to June
June to Jul- five months ago you bought me flowers
Rosie can count to five, everyone
Tell me honestly
Yup
When I'm around the house... - Yeah
..and i wear no makeup... - Yes..
and I look like shit... - Yes..
Because like, all i'm doing is having an editing day
Are you less attracted to me?
No. - What are you do-
I am worried that my nose is bleeding
and i didn't want you to see cos i know how queasy you get
You are gorgeous
even without makeup
especially without makeup
So it doesn't bother you when i don't wash my hair?
No.
For like a really long time... - No
...cos i'm like "fuck it, i'm not leaving the house" - Not at all
when it's moving on its own that's what i love the most
Can i just say you're failing quite badly
No, I'm not
Yeah you are - No i'm not
No i'm not
I make the rules of the test!
Your weakest physical attributes
Just so you know, I can take this
Is that you're too good looking
Correct!
It's a weakness
for everybody else
So we broke up right
Yeah
It's over - It's over
Your fault
Why- what have i done?!
Well you fucked someone else
It's not Camila
Tell me what you would say
Go on, try and get me back right now
and i saw the way your nostrils flare
Hello
Oh hi
umm I just wanted to run through some lyrics with you
to prove
Oh that's so sweet of you
You didn't have to do that
Yeah, i know i broke your heart since i slept with someone else
but i also made you famous
You know, if that's your side of the story
You've got to tell it how you see it
Yeah, it's just that i feel like
even though i was umm awful to you
and slept with someone else
i just feel like i can probably still have sex with you
You know what, i take that as a compliment
I would say
Rosie,
I fell in love with you for a reason
I made a mistake
but you know what, so do human beings
and i'm one of them
Look Rosie, i love you forever and always
I..accidentally fell on that other girl
I don't want hear about you and the other girl
I wanna hear why you begging for me back
I wanna hear about me and the other girl
I don't think i have ever
stopped the video
and then restart it
because i want a bowl of cereal before
Also, sometimes i asked you about day of the week
and then you refuse to tell me
Rosie, you ask me about seven times a day
"Babe what day is it?"
"Babe, what's the date? What day is it today?
What day is it tomorrow if that's the day today?"
"When was yesterday?"
Look, we don't all have Rebecca Black's friday on hand
Is it the 27th? - 22nd
Ohh, because 27th of the 7th is like an important date to me
It's nothing to do with you.