Dear Rocksteady Studios
Or is it DC comics?
DC Comics
Or TellTale? or--- I don't- I don't know
There's like a thousand developers and publishers
And owners of the Batman Ip I can't keep them straight anymore.
HI IT'S ME!!
AUSTIN! I'm here to ruin your day. You know Batman has definitely got to be my favorite
Superhero stretching to way back. when I was a little kid.
He was definitely in the top three along with Zorro and
Indiana Jones for Years my favorite movie was Batman returns although if I'm being entirely
Honest my main focus was Catwoman, huh?
Catwoman, Zorro, Indiana Jones
Lot of whips going on there
I guess how I like to spend my free time and post-pubescent really isn't that much of a mystery
Where was I? Oh right! Ruining Batman.
I love Batman because of this I play almost every Batman game I can get my hands on. My first one being though
the Batman Returns for the Snes where I had to punch my beloved cat woman in the face
AGHH THE TORTURE!!
Anyway, recently I played through the Telltale Batman series and holy crap!!
I freaking loved it!!! and when it was over
I immediately started mainlining the Arkham series
so I could perpetuate my Batman addiction and holy crap guys I just
Realized Batman is a God
damn
murderer
and like this wouldn't be [a] big deal for a comic book superhero
But we're not talking about punisher or deadpool. This is freaking Batman!
He's got two rules: no guns and no killing
i'm not a coward who hides behind a gun. But Batman is a bad boy Batman is a
Vigilante and Batman doesn't believe in following the rules including it turns out even his own
Austin Batman's not a murderer
I hear you typing
Frantically into the comments he even says so and we have evidence the evidence being like you never see him do it
Oh yeah, oh yeah, you think so. Oh well ah let me step on my lab
Coat, my science hat and prove to you
Conclusively that the caped crusader is the worst superhero of all time
I first realized something was up while doing one of my favorite moves in arkham asylum: the vertical upside down take down where you hanging upside
down and grab moocs that pass underneath you. you then tie rope to their ankles and just
Let go. that's some savage as hell treatment, but it's not fatal right? right??
WRONG. Now listen, I'm not going to say that hanging upside down is fatal in fact
There's been a few studies that look at this exact thing because in
1980, Richard Gere played a male escort in the movie American Gigolo
And there was a scene of him working out while suspended upside down
And OH MY GOD the 80s, could you NOT?
Anyway, the sight of the then gorgeous man flesh and sex [idol] doing a thing made everybody else want to do that thing so naturally
[enquiring]
Scientific minds wanted to know is hanging upside down
dangerous? turns out well, no
Kinda. Sorta. Hanging upside down itself is not that dangerous
But it does create a twenty-five percent
Increase in blood pressure. this happens because the heart is actually designed to pump harder towards your head
this is because gravity pulls your blood down towards your feet. If you're
upside down however your blood is pumping hard towards your head which is also getting helped by the Force of gravity
the good news is
The blood is pooling in the right direction. if you have to choose between too much blood in your head and too little I
Recommend too much. Too little can starve your brain of oxygen and kill you within minutes if you're not careful however
high blood pressure isn't
Good. I mean if it gets high enough blood vessels can burst, the important ones, the ones that bring oxygen to your brain this can
Cause pressure on your brain and force you to lose consciousness and suffer permanent
debilitating brain
Damage. anybody that knows someone that's had a stroke can attest to this
It's not an easy thing to recover from but a healthy-ish adult being hung upside down is really unlikely to suffer a stroke with
A twenty-five percent increase in blood pressure without some other factor coming into play and it's here that we get our first
Gruesome murder technique of the Dark Knight you see cuz Batman isn't just casually lowering criminals down
They're not just gently hanging there like Richard Gere's moose Knuckle. He straight-up
Drops them like they're made of dog poop. These moocs are pretty close to Batman's height, and we can actually calculate
how fast they drop using their bodies as a frame of reference if Batman is [6] foot [2] inches or
1.8 [7] meters that means that these moocs are dropping over four and a half meters. The acceleration of G or
9.81 meters per second squared this means that these bros by the time they reach the end of the rope
They're traveling over nine point three meters per second or over 20 miles per hour then like that
They snap to a halt and then you can flick away and see that their heart rate rises to about a hundred and fifty five
Beats per second. FUN. The game says that this is because they're terrified, but you know what I think it's worse
I think it's because they're experiencing immense
pain. you know why? because if someone ties a rope around your ankles and just drops you that distance from something that's not a
freaking bungee cord, your ankles experience over
40,000 Newton's of Force as the [Rope] snaps taut and your bones flex
this is way WAY more than enough force to snap your flimsy ankles and probably break a couple other bones in your legs and
Dislocate your hips. these moocs are in agony, but it gets worse
These dudes hanging upside down are knocked unconscious in a little over ten seconds. now passing out from pain is
Possible, but it's really unlikely it turns out. When people pass out from pain
It's usually from some other factor, and then the unconscious episode is temporary. No, this is something else
AND you're more likely to pass out from low blood
Pressure not high blood pressure which as you'll recall your blood pressure while upside down
Increases. something else is happening here something worse
something
Terrible. Rapid deceleration and broken bones means one thing
internal
bleeding
Bones contain bone marrow and the legs contain a major
Artery: the femoral artery. If put under the right stress mixed with a little bad luck and the wrong amount of torque this
Artery can shear open. Even worse internal organs can experience what's called
deceleration trauma
which is when your internal organs experience severe enough g-forces and
Literally tear away from surrounding blood vessels. This is bad news because these mooks experience a whopping
58G. This means me, a 65 kilogram man, would suddenly feel like I weigh a massive
[3,700] kilograms or over
8,000 pounds. Broken bones plus possibly severed major arteries and veins
Plus high blood pressure PLUS a high heart rate is a recipe for one horrific condition
hypovolemic
circulatory
shock
high blood pressure plus a fast heart rate either induced by panic or pain means that those
Severed blood vessels are going to lose blood a lot faster
this causes a damaging positive feedback loop where a bad supply of blood leads to rapid
cell damage which leads to an inflammatory response by the body to increase blood flow to that
area which in turn deprives the body of more precious blood WHICH
causes more cell death and OHMYGOD it is just the worst thing. shock is a major cause of death among people with major
Illnesses, and if left untreated, the risk of death is basically one hundred percent
especially if you reach stage four hypovolemic
Circulatory shock. stage four is defined by a low blood pressure due to there not being a ton of blood left
Circulating and incredibly fast pulse over 140 beats per minute followed by one of two things
coma or DEATH. this is the only stage that has lack of
Consciousness as a symptom. once stage 4 is reached brain death can happen in as little as 10 minutes without an immediate blood
Transfusion and we can even measure this using what's called the shock index, a tool that emergency medical responders use to assess
Situations. it's really honestly pretty simple. heart rate
Divided by blood pressure
given that the average blood pressure is 120 [+] [25] [percent] for being upside down and given that Batman actually reads
Their beats per minute we can determine that this mooc with a heart rate of over
150 and a blood pressure of 150 has a shock index of one point zero three three
Anything over point nine is BAD
And that number is going to get higher as he experiences further blood loss. best case scenario
We're talking persistent vegetative
state. nobody who passes out from being
Upside down for a long period of time has a long and healthy life ahead of them even if not
Everyone he does this to dies, considering the rate at which
He loves to dangle moocs in front of their friends Batman has at least killed like five dudes this way
You know like a murderer. but to be
Entirely honest, this is the least terrible thing that he does. if we're being generous, we can just admit
This is a game mechanic. Rocksteady just wanted to put [moocs] permanently out of commission
And they didn't want to think about it that hard.
BIG WHOOP.
Rocksteady doesn't accurately model hanging people upside down. COLOR ME SURPRISE
Unfortunately though THIS is just an appetizer for the main course because what I have for you next will blow your God
damned
minds
You and I know that the whole hanging people upside down thing is at the end of the day a parlor trick
Batman doesn't do freak people out. this isn't what that man is at his heart the thing he does best better than anybody is
Fisticuffs the best way to fight crime is by punching it into submission. No risk of death
no guns
No gadgets just good old
Pummeling until they stop moving except as it turns out beating people until they stop moving is really really
Bad for them just ask [Nodoz] after Duke goes done with them
But AUSTIN, I hear you saying being somewhat annoying and interrupting my video, what about boxing
I mean that's an entire thing. a thing about punching people until they don't move anymore and nobody dies in that sport worst case
Scenario they lose an ear or two, okay?
Well you have a fair point. boxing is along with American football built upon a solid foundation of normalizing
permanent and debilitating brain damage
But it's really rare for people to drop dead. that being said since 1890, there have been over
700 in-ring deaths in boxing so that's fun
Why is that?
Well it all boils [down] to your brain. I used to think that a knockout in boxing was a straight-up coma state
Non-responsive visually dead. this actually isn't the case. boxers who are knocked out rarely lose consciousness
entirely and if they do it's for less than a second in order to
understand this, we're gonna have to look at the nature of punching, brains and
Concussions. the worst part to get punched in is the chin. this seems
Counter-Intuitive since it's really far from the brain
But that's exactly what makes it so dangerous. you see in order to cause brain damage minor or otherwise you have to make the brain
Impact with something. you can do this by punching someone in the top of the head
But you have to hit them really hard. the best way though the best way is to actually get the skull to
rotate really fast so the Brain which is suspended in fluid jiggles around and smacks into the walls of the skull because
Hitting the chin imparts the most rotational force and leverage this is one [of] the best places to land a knockout punch
Boxers call it the button which to me is just a horrifying
colloquialization of
Destroying someone's nervous system
Other good places are the side of the head near the temples because the bone is softer and it also imparts rotation when the brain
Experiences an impact even a minor one the person's brain is permanently
damaged. acutely this is called a concussion and all knocked out boxers have concussions and
Experience a ton of cognitive impairment as with just about everything in humanity this isn't a simple on/off switch
it's a gradient measurable by the
Glasgow Coma Scale. the Glasgow Coma
Scale is a metric that takes a bunch of symptoms, assigns a number to them and adds them together to give people a general idea
Of what's going on. a severely knocked out boxer for example would have a glasgow score of about nine
They open their eyes in response to questions
They mutter incoherently
and they don't react to pain normally but what on Earth does this have to do with
Batman. Batman isn't punching people until they fumble around like they're drunk. He's knocking them out cold for hours
To test this, I even left [my] game running overnight to see if the mooks he punched out ever wake up
They DON'T. they don't respond to pain in the form of me bataranging them to hell
They don't talk. they don't [open] their eyes. these guys register as a three on the glasgow Coma scale this is
Colloquially called two things number one a deep coma or number two
DEATH
Even if we're talking a glasgow scale of higher degrees like five or six, the death rate of all people even if they get medical
treatment that reached this level of Brain damage is
Seventeen percent. that means out of every ten moocs Batman beats into non responsiveness and leave
Facedown in a puddle of their own blood at least one [of] these dudes is dying. when someone isn't moving like this
It's because they're experiencing
Hematomas epidural, subdural
intracerebral. take your pick. that's what happens when you beat on someone until their middle meningeal artery pops open and
Batman punches the crap out of a lot [more] than 10 dudes in the arkham series
it's like in the
Hundreds and what about these [shock] gloves that are
Powerful enough to stop heart or what about the fact that when you choke someone until they lose consciousness?
They wake [up] almost as soon
As blood flow returns to the brain which means the only way these dudes you're choking out or staying down is because you're probably
Severing their spinal cord, or there's this explosive gel that literally blows up walls.
BATMAN
you are literally blowing people up and showering them in cement shrapnel. YOU ARE MAKING GRENADES and
the BatMobile has a freaking mounted gun.
WHAT HAPPENED TO NO GUNS?!?!?
this is a gun?
I'm starting to think that this whole no killing thing is just some propaganda
Perpetuated by the police of Gotham who are paid by Wayne Enterprises
To cover up the massive number of homicides Batman is responsible for. Batman lowers the crime rate
So who cares if he kills
17 to 30 percent of the people he interacts with? if that isn't a smoldering indictment of the American justice system
I don't know
what is. Batman is either a LIAR and a freaking serial KILLER with no conscience and a hatred of the poor OR his rich
Upbringing literally made him so isolated from the struggles of the everyman that he doesn't know what death is
Do you not know what death is?
Maybe he never got grief counseling after his parents died and he literally thinks the villains are sleeping
I mean his main form of therapy is cosplaying
In a fetish outfit and punching people in the skulls until they no longer remember their high school education
This is EXACTLY why [we] need transparency in our policing system
This is exactly why we have checks and balances. Batman checks and balances are mentally ill [man] in clown makeup and a giant
Roided-out jock
Congratulations Rocksteady. you made Batman a freaking killer, or I guess he always was one
But you made him a worse one. you upgraded him from occasional
Whoopsie of Negligence to full-blown Mass murderer
Congratulations. You made me ruin my favorite superhero. I hope you're happy
sincerely
Austin, thank you
everyone for watching my video on
Batman
na na na na na na na na na, BATMAN. follow me on Twitter @arhourigan or you subscribe to the game theorists?
And you know do something awesome. I still love Batman even though he's a jerk.
everyone's a jerk
I'm a jerk. I've ruined fun things for fun. Anyway. BYE. Love you