Good morning, John
Being awake is awful
I feel like a poo-poo
Goodbye Lemons...
Hank: I miss you already.
Well, our taxi driver was very nice. He nearly killed us. We almost died. But we're alive.
Uh huh.
Missoula just got this sweet outdoor lounge area at the airport. I'm outside and there's
a plane! You're all grey speckled walls, I'm like, "Check me out! I'm outside; there's
a plane behind me," you gotta find cooler spots at airports. If I go this way there's
the control tower; it's cool! Apparently I've chippered up a little bit now that I found
this amazing place.
So I'm headed to Chicago for tour. I just went through security with $2,000 in two-dollar
bills. They didn't even ask! If you're coming to see us, if you buy merch in cash, we'll
be giving you change in two dollar bills, at least while supplies last. Also available,
aside from change, is this new flash drive thing that I made that has every song I've
ever recorded or released. Even the terrible ones. And some other various stuff. Ah, so
that's an interesting idea, 'cause CDs, how do you even use those anymore?
For people who aren't going to be on tour, though, I also have something to sell to you.
John and I have had this argument about Batman and whether he's worthwhile, so for the next
week we have two shirts available: one for my perspective - it says, "We are all bat
people!", and one, John, is from your perspective and it says, "Batman is just a rich guy with
an affinity for bats." So to find out what side Nerdfighteria is on, we're selling both
of them and then we're gonna count and see whether we are, indeed, all bat people - or,
you know, which design people liked better.
John, congratulations on your golden bucket of popcorn, that's weird - that's just - weird.
That's weird. And, yes, my butt is freezing. This is not a warm place for my butt to be,
but I'm gonna do it!
The rest of this video, because I want you to be entertained, is just gonna be interesting
facts about marriage.
Fact number one: The two people who played Ferris Bueller's parents in Ferris Bueller's
Day Off met on set - and then got married! Also they had kids and they didn't name any
of them Ferris, which is unacceptable.
Fact number two: Of the 19 couples brought together by the television show Bachelor,
none of them are still together, which is really, I guess, not a super surprise, but
it is interesting.
Fact number three: During the Crimean War, a British shipmate, after being told to hit
the deck, instead ran forward toward a live shell with its fuse hissing and threw it off
the side of a British naval vessel. For this act of bravery, his captain promoted him to
lieutenant on the spot, also recommended him for the Victoria Cross, and introduced him
to his daughter. The two later married. One act of bravery turned out pretty well for
that guy.
Thirty years after this photograph was taken at Walt Disney World, this little girl and
this little boy got married. They didn't even live in the same country at the time - not
at the time they got married, at the time the picture was taken.
Speaking of Disney: the guy who was for thirty-six years the voice of Mickey Mouse was married
to the woman who was the voice of Minnie Mouse.
Also weird: David Tennant got married to an actress who played his daughter in Doctor
Who - but the weird part of this is that she was the actual daughter of a man who played
the Doctor in Doctor Who.
John, there are so many people in the world that weird coincidences are bound to happen,
and in fact it has happened many times that childhood pen pals have met later in life
and gone on to get married. But what is exceptionally weird is when those two people are Carey Mulligan
and the dude from Mumford and Sons. They were childhood pen pals, and then they both independently
became famous, and then they reconnected later in life and got married.
The universe is weird! People who are coming to see me on tour, I'm really looking forward
to it, thank you; it's gonna be a great show. John, we are all bat people - and I'll see
you on Tuesday.
I felt bad for the poor people 'cause when we gave them a tip they had to sing a song.
Oh hey there! Hom-nom-nom-nom.
Hello Mrs. Wainwright. It is a pleasure to meet you, thank you for taking this opportunity.
I will really, I think I'm perfect for this position.
Katherine: Wiggle that butt, kitty. Wiggle it. Yeah.
Wiggle it!
Yea!