If you want your ex back, it can hurt when they pull away.
But what if they’re just playing mind games?
In this video I’ll explain to you what it means when your ex plays hard to get, how
to tell the difference between someone who is playing hard to get and someone who just
isn’t interested… and what you should do next to get them to come back to you.
Hi, I’m Brad Browning, Youtube’s Number One Breakup Coach and author of The Ex Factor.
I’ve helped thousands of people win back their exes, and I can help you too.
All you have to do is subscribe to my channel.
Now, to get started, we need to differentiate an uninterested ex from one who is playing
hard to get…because if your ex is playing hard to get that almost always means they’re
VERY interested.
People primarily play hard to get to attract the other person so that means they want you.
I’ll talk more about why an ex plays hard to get but first, let’s identify the signs…
1.
Your ex is giving you the hot and cold treatment
Playing hard to get isn’t the same as lack of interest.
The keyword is HARD to get.
Not impossible to get.
If they’re playing hard to get that means they’ll be showing some interest and then
pulling away.
So some days they’re going to be friendly and willing to talk to you.
They may even be affectionate and remind you of good times in the past.
Then suddenly the mood will shift and they’ll pull away, leaving you wondering what happened.
Don’t worry, this is an attempt to draw you in so that you continue pursuing them
so try to take it in stride.
If you want more information about an ex giving you the hot and cold treatment, I’d suggest
you watch my video on the topic which I’ll link in the popup as well as in the description
below.
2.
Your ex is being vague
Playing hard to get is all about keeping the mystery alive.
If you ask your ex questions and their answers aren’t very clear, then you’ll know this
is the case.
If you ask them to meet up and they say “maybe,” this is another good sign.
Basically they won’t give you what you want but they’ll keep having conversations with
you.
This is very common early on in dating and it’s very common in this situation as well.
3.
Your ex is flirting with you
I always say good flirting makes you ask “are they into me or are they just joking around?”
and this is exactly what playing hard to get is all about.
They want to keep you in the dark about their true intentions so that they keep the upper
hand and you keep trying to win them back.
So if they’re overly friendly, touchy and just generally flirty, this is a great sign
that this is what they’re up to.
4.
Your breakup was mutual
If your relationship ended because of a mutual agreement, then your ex is more likely to
be playing hard to get.
In my opinion, relationships that ended mutually are most likely to reconcile because no one
has to get over being dumped.
And in this case, you and your ex are probably nervous to talk to one another because you
don’t know where you stand.
They’re afraid to risk rejection so they’re playing hard to get to protect themselves.
5.
They’re trying to make you jealous
If your ex is trying to make you jealous when you speak to them, this is a sign that they’re
playing hard to get.
Essentially they want to make themselves appear valuable by suggesting that they have other
options.
I could make a whole video about how your ex will try to make you jealous… and I did–check
the link in the description for that video–but here are a couple basic signs…
They might mention friends that you felt threatened by when you were together.
They might hint that they’re going on other dates.
They may even flat out tell you that they’re seeing someone new and then compare the two
of you.
These are all blatant attempts to make you jealous.
6.
You’re still on good terms
As I’ve said, sometimes what you think is playing hard to get is just genuine disinterest.
But if there’s still good feelings between the two of you and they keep giving you the
hot and cold treatment, it’s likely that they’re playing hard to get.
On the other hand, if they really don’t like you anymore because of what happened,
or if they’re still extremely angry at you, then chances are this is truly just a lack
of interest that you’re misinterpreting as mind games from your ex.
7.
You took a break before reaching out
If you and your ex just broke up, it’s likely that they just don’t want to talk to you
right now.
This is a common scenario post breakup.
One person wants to stay in touch because they’re sad and lonely.
The other person doesn’t want to hurt their ex’s feelings so they become distant and
hope the other person gets the message.
If you’re looking for advice on HOW to take a break from your ex after breaking up, then
you’re not alone.
I know it can be difficult to sever those ties, especially if you’re hoping to get
back together.
Head on over to BreakupBrad.com after this video and check out my free video presentation
there.
In that video I explain everything you need to know about getting your ex back and how
you can make it happen.
Again that’s over at BreakupBrad.com
But if you have already taken a break following the breakup then this scenario is less likely.
Since you’ve both had time to process the breakup, they’re likely to be more open
to communicating with you, or outright refuse to talk to you.
Since you’re in a middle ground, it means they’re either unsure or are actively playing
hard to get.
Why Your Ex Is Playing Hard To Get
So why will an ex play hard to get?
As I said, they do it because they’re still interested in you.
If they’re not interested, then they’re not playing hard to get.
In that case, they’re either uninterested in you, they’re just using you for attention,
or they’re actively playing mind games with you.
These are less than ideal scenarios and they can be hard to sort out from an ex who is
playing hard to get.
But if your ex is playing hard to get, it suggests that they know you want them.
So why would an ex play hard to get rather than just being honest about their feelings?
It’s because they’re looking for YOU to make the first move.
Essentially they want control of the situation.
Don’t worry too much here.
They’re probably just acting this way because they’re scared.
Another factor could be that they’re not sure how you feel about them.
They’re trying to test the waters without committing too hard because they’re afraid
that you might shut them down.
It’s also possible that the relationship you two had was never all that solid.
This means that they’re afraid to be honest with you because they’re afraid of being
judged or rejected because they don’t know how to read you very well.
If you’re wondering where you stand with your ex, you should take my free quiz over
at BreakupBrad.com/Quiz.
It’s free, it only takes five minutes and it will give you a score out of 100 to tell
you exactly what chance you have of getting your ex back.
It even gives you next steps if you’re wondering what to do.
Again that’s BreakupBrad.com/Quiz
How To Respond When Your Ex Plays Hard To Get
How should you respond, knowing this information?
Well first off, don’t overreact.
Now you know that they’re interested, you can stop stressing about this behaviour.
That’s the main takeaway here: do not get upset because your ex treats you this way.
If you get angry, get emotional or confront them about this, you will most likely scare
them off.
And as I’ve said, they’re already a bit unsure about this whole situation.
But remember that this probably means that they want you.
Plain and simple.
As long as you stay the course, keep your self respect and move things forward, you’re
going to get the result you want.
There’s really just two key things to keep in mind when you’re dealing with an ex who
seems to be playing hard to get…
#1: Keep things light and funny
You need to show your ex that you’re not bothered by them playing hard to get.
You’re not angry at them for blowing you off, nor are you really upset at all.
Be sure to joke around and have fun.
Remember that you’re trying to get away from the negative energy of the breakup and
you won’t be able to do that if you keep taking things so seriously.
So use humour to your advantage–both to show your ex that you don’t care and to
make them comfortable.
#2: Let them come to you
When you’re pursuing an ex, it’s easy to get caught in the mindset of always chasing
after them and feeling dissatisfied whenever something gets in your way.
It’s important to be persistent but you also need to give them space to reach out
to you.
I think people who feel their ex is playing hard to get often are often being too aggressive
and if they were to hold back a bit more, they’d find their exes chasing after them.
So take a few days off and see what happens.
Basically, don’t play along with their “hard to get” game for a while and gauge your
ex’s reaction…
you may discover that they’re actually willing to take the initiative once you stop letting
them string you along.
Don’t be a victim or always be willing to give your ex what they’re after when they
use this kind of mind game on you.
In fact, I just recently made a full video on whether you should let your ex come to
you or actively pursue them…
I got a lot of really positive feedback on that video, and it’s definitely worth watching
if your ex might be playing hard to get with you, so click the pop-up here or the link
in the description below and go watch that video next.
So, now that you’ve watched this entire video… you tell me in the comments whether
you now know for sure if your ex is playing hard to get.
And of course feel free to leave any questions in the comments too and if you’re subscribed
to my channel, I promise to reply personally to your question.
Thanks for watching, thanks for liking and subscribing, and best of luck getting your
ex to come back to you… see you next time.