So, how can positive parenting encourage personal development? Well it can. I'm Nicholeen Peck
and I teach parenting and good communication, family relationship development all over the
world and in this video we're talking about what positive parenting really does for kids.
In this video we're going to talk about what positive parenting is and isn't and what positive
parenting does for our children. Parents who do positive parenting do not use harsh treatment
to handle problematic behavior. Instead they proactively fill their child's emotional needs
by leading them toward positive, productive interactions. So, everyone has emotional needs.
Children have an emotional need of belonging and what does positive parenting do? It actually
encourages belonging. So if your interactions with your children, whether they are a praise or
a correction, lead to a feeling of belonging then actually you are giving your child a great gift
because one of their emotional needs, one of their basic emotional needs for bonding and belonging
is now met. Now obviously it's not a check off list, you don't just do positive parenting one day one
afternoon and then everybody's fine and they've got belonging but if they know that home is the
safest place to make mistakes all of the time then that gives them a sense of security and belonging
for their life. So this is huge. The emotional needs of the child are at the forefront of
everybody's mind right now especially since we have so many children who are doing drastic things
to themselves because of emotional excuses. People are hurting themselves, they're cutting themselves,
they're committing suicide, their anxiety levels and depression levels are increasing,
they're questioning their value as a person, they're questioning even if they are a person.
They're questioning all kinds of stuff right now because they don't know where they fit in
or belong. They're looking for a place of belonging so look what that parent-child bond does for the
child for the long term. This is huge. It's enormous so we definitely want to promote
that in positive parenting, that's a very positive outcome of true positive parenting and I'm gonna
say true positive parenting because there's what positive parenting is and then there's
what positive parenting isn't. I'm going to talk about what positive parenting isn't and what the
outcomes are for our children but before I do that, click on the subscribe button now. There are so
many great videos on this channel that talk about teaching self-government to children. If you teach
them self government skills and principles, you are giving them the very best positive parenting
possible so click on the subscribe button now and don't forget that notification bell too.
Giving the children that positive interaction isn't supposed to mean permissive parenting,
that's important. Many people hear the term positive parenting and they just assume that what
they're doing is they're letting the child have every day be positive and happy. You can't control
that. Sometimes a child might have a sad moment, a disappointing moment, that's part of being a child
and you need to help them through those moments and not feel like those are failures on your part.
But also if you think that your mood can control everything about the child then that's also
something that is a little bit short-sighted. The child needs confidence, they need skills, they need
training and nurturing. Truly positive parenting will do all of those things for the child but the
false kind of positive parenting, the ones where parents are just trying to be upbeat and positive,
maybe super nice and a little indulgent, that is called permissive parenting or like I like to
call it, modern progressive parenting. The modern progressive parent focuses on being the child's
friend instead of being the child's parent. Nowhere in definitions of positive parenting does it say
that a parent should focus on being a child's friend, that is not what it means to do positive
parenting. Positive parenting insinuates you know who you are and you have a plan for what to do. So
what is your plan? Hopefully, I can help you with that and we can get some better outcomes for your
children. So what does good true positive parenting do for the child? Well let's talk about that as we
talk about some things that you can set up in your home to help encourage good, positive parenting
one of those things is pre-teaching. If you teach your children ahead of time what is expected of
them and what skills they need to use in certain interactions with you, with siblings, teachers, other
people then they are prepared for success. This is a super merciful thing to do. It also shows that
you're more about teaching than correcting. Parents that wait until something bad happens to just
instantly correct when no teaching has been done are actually reactive parents. You want to
be a proactive parent. To be a proactive parent, you need to do the teaching ahead of time. So
pre-teaching is key. When you pre-teach your child, what does that do for them? Well it decreases their
anxiety because it increases predictability in the parenting. It teaches them what to expect from you,
it prepares them for how to problem solve with you and how to handle interactions with you and
with other people. This gives them confidence and security in their communications and relationships.
Another thing that I teach is good correcting skills. So when we correct the children, it should
also be very predictable. Teach your children how you will correct them before you ever actually do
an official correction. Teach them what types of negative consequences they will earn, that's right,
they earn. In a self-governed household, you don't do things to your children. They know the system
and they know what they've earned and what privileges they might have even lost
because of how the system is set up. Nothing is a surprise to them. They know it ahead of time. They
also know exactly the words you'll say when you do a correction or when they're going out of control,
how you are going to help them. This also eases their mind. It helps them know that you're not just
trying to control them but you're trying to help them then you can focus on your calmness too. Think
of how wonderful it is if you have a dialogue that you follow to solve a problem. You don't have to
get creative which decreases your stress and makes it so that you can increase your bonding, your
loving, your accepting, your calm communication with them instead. This ends up giving them a stronger
identity and attachment to you. When a parent is positive in their corrections, it teaches the child
that they aren't a sum total of all the things that they've done wrong but they are a person who
is going in a good direction and who can handle a little bit of misfortune from time to time.
Isn't that what it means to be a truly well-adjusted functioning adult? We need to give
that type of emotional security to our children by correcting them consistently all the time. There is
a lot of fragility right now in the world so many young people feeling very fragile, feeling like
they can't talk to their parents about things and if they do, it's going to be a personal attack. The
people don't approve of them. This comes from a lot of perfectionism, it also comes because they aren't
allowing themselves to have a good bond with their parents. Maybe they created a habit of not bonding
well. This type of fragility can lead to a lot of mental health issues, it can also stem from some
mental health issues, some external circumstances. There are many reasons why fragility can happen
but it is definitely an epidemic that young people are experiencing this feeling of being
fragile like they can't handle what's going on in life. Some people even saying things like well by
the time I'm 30 I hope I'm dead you know because I don't want to have to take responsibility or
handle problems in my life, that's horrible. That means that they do not see themselves as a person
who will ever be able to grow up. So one of the ways that we combat fragility is by creating
anti-fragile children. This comes with consistent teaching and direction and correction from parents.
So if it is safe to be corrected in your home and they do get consistently corrected, then this will
combat the fragility epidemic that everyone is facing and lead to children who grow up
being anti-fragile or being just fine with being corrected or knowing that they need to
adjust something about themselves. Think if you were an employer, what type of an employee this
would make if you could bring up to them? Oh hey, we did that before and that was not the right way,
we need to adjust that and they're like oh yeah. Great, thanks for bringing that to my attention.
They felt no bad feelings about it, there was no office drama and they just went ahead and made
the adjustment. Think of how cool that would be for them. Think of how much success they would find how
much leadership opportunity would end up coming their way because they were that type of person.
Anti-fragile people are the ones that lead out so you want to know how positive parenting, good,
true positive parenting affects our children, it turns them into different people in our society.
It turns them into leaders. It gives them power that other people don't have because they know
that they can accept corrections. Now remember that positive parenting involves corrections.
It involves consistent corrections.hen you consistently correct your child in
a loving and calm way, you will find greater success. Your child will actually feel like
it was a pleasure to be raised in your home instead of something they had to get through.
If you've liked this video, I'm pretty sure you'll love my next video which is what are
factors that enhance positive parenting and family relationships. In that video, I will go into
more detail about the factors that you can keep in mind to create an environment where positive
parenting is more of a reality for you and your family. Click on the link to that video now.