Normally I critique products,
which of course requires spreading some negative sentiments
in order to provide a balanced review.
Well, today I'd rather discuss something
that I have nothing negative at all to say about.
And so I bring you what has got to be
one of the greatest sentences on all of Wikipedia.
Let's get undone!
♪ Gerald undone ♪
♪ He's crazy. ♪
What's happening, everybody?
I'm Gerald Undone
and I had to kiss a lot of princes to find my frog.
Alright, let's do this thing.
And no, I'm not actually reading from Moby Dick.
I just thought it looked more impressive
if it looked like I was reading form a book
rather than just from a Wikipedia sheet.
Today we're talking about the Komodo dragon, not the camera.
I know it probably make more sense
if I was talking about the camera,
since I talk about cameras a lot.
But no, we're talking about the big lizard.
Little bit of context here.
So this is from Wikipedia.
This is from the diet section.
Just wanna introduce you slowly
into this Komodo dragon thing.
Don't ask how I found this paragraph.
Anyway.
Komodo dragons eat by tearing large chunks of flesh
and swallowing them whole
while holding the carcass down with their forelegs.
For smaller prey up to the size of a goat,
their loosely articulated jaws, flexible skulls,
and expandable stomachs allow them
to swallow the prey whole.
That's important to know. Okay.
Up to a goat apparently is considered small prey
to a Komodo dragon.
That's pretty scary but they can swallow it whole.
Okay.
Little bit more context.
It says here that copious amounts of red saliva
the Komodo dragons produce, help lubricate the food,
but swallowing is still a long process.
15 to 20 minutes to swallow a goat.
I've some thoughts about that as well.
But before any further ado,
now we have the greatest sentence on all of Wikipedia.
Here we go.
A Komodo dragon may attempt to speed up the process
by ramming the carcass against a tree
to force it down its throat,
sometimes ramming so forcefully
that the tree is knocked down.
Let's talk about this.
So first of all, I don't know if any of this is true.
It's on Wikipedia.
There is source next to the thing
about knocking down the tree,
which I find hilarious.
That means that somebody at some point
must have observed this happening.
And that would have to be one of the most scary experiences
you could possibly imagine.
But let's, let's, you know, deconstruct this little bit.
So it's like we said, smaller prey is considered
up to the size of a goat.
Now I've never been a Komodo dragon,
but I can only imagine that I wouldn't walk up to a goat
and think, I can shove that whole thing down my throat.
And the fact that this is, talked about is if it's being,
you know, it's like established,
like it's been tried multiple times,
and they have a developed a system for like,
that's a hefty goat over there.
Think I'm gonna have to probably get some speed up
and ram that one against the tree just to get it down.
But if there's ever been anything,
and also I love this, I love this,
that it still takes a long time
to swallow for Komodo dragon.
As if like, you know, they had to provide
that little clause in there.
Like, you know, it has lots of,
it has copious amounts of red saliva
and this helps speed up the process.
But you know, it's still a long process.
15 to 20 minutes for a goat.
Like they timed the goat.
As if there's like different animals
they've watched the Komodo dragon swallow whole.
Somebody was there with a stopwatch like,
"Okay, on average the goat is about 15 to 20 minutes".
Who's documenting these things.
But anyway, the point is, as if like,
I feel like they are providing some kind of, you know,
mitigating factor there like,
yeah, it's still 15 to 20 minutes to swallow a goat.
Okay, Let's not get, let's not get too excited.
Let's not over hype the Komodo dragon.
But then the idea.
Just imagine, imagine witnessing this, okay.
This is why I think this is the greatest sentence.
That it attempts to speed up the process.
So, is the Komodo dragon impatient?
It doesn't have 15 to 20 minutes?
It's like, okay, I got places to be,
I gotta eat this goat quickly.
Or did it choose to start the goat and then run out of time?
So it wanted to speed it up.
So it goes, "I'll ram it against a tree."
I don't know what their pain situation is like,
but that just doesn't sound comfortable at all.
But the fact that they are so powerful,
they're trying to jam, like,
does that mean that,
their throat muscles are stronger than a tree?
I don't understand it.
I don't understand any of this.
It just, the fact that it knocks a tree down
has to be the scariest animal fact I've ever read.
It's also just great.
I have no complaints.
It brings me so much joy reading this sentence.
I read it frequently just because it's amazing.
And because of the joy that sentence brings,
I give Komodo dragons 4.5 goats.
It's kind of a John Green reference there.
I don't know if anybody picked up on it.
But if you think you have a sentence
that rivals the greatness of that one on Wikipedia,
paste in the comments below.
All right, I'm done.