In this video, I'm going to be sharing with you the seven factors of non-physical attraction
that make a man see you as wife, long-term material. Don't forget to hit the subscribe
button with the little bell, little bell as I always say, so you get the notifications,
and don't forget to check out my new book, Make Him Yours Beating The Odds Of Modern
Dating. It has now been released on Amazon. I'll see you right after this.
[Music playing]
What are the key factors that make a man respect you and see you as wife, long-term
material that he needs in his life? I've found over
my five years of coaching, that there are seven things, seven areas, seven key points that create
non-physical attraction and make you the type of
woman in his eyes that he'd want to commit to for life.
Here they go.
The factors are all summed up by the word respect.
One of my favorite words, one of the most important
and an easy reminder of what these
seven factors are. R is for responsibility. Responsibility means empowerment.
Responsibility means you don't make excuses. It means you don't play the victim. Responsibility
means that you know, at a very deep level, you are the one that's ultimately in charge of your
happiness. Women with the responsibility skillset are never seen as victims by men.
They're never seen as desperate or needy. Women
who take responsibility in their life for
the things, the good and the bad, and especially what's going on between their ears are seen
as attractive, empowered, and fulfilling life partners
that men want to be with.
Number two, E is for equal status. The equal status mindset means that you never put the
man on a pedestal. And it means that the man feels like in you, he has met his match so early
on in dating, it could be very simple. It could be the way you banter with him. You got fun.
You got banter. You don't let him get away with sh*t.
Could be the way you share your opinions
and own your opinions, or it could be the way you
offer to pay for yourself on dates. Later on, it
becomes much more significant. Equal status in a relationship means you expect your needs to
be met as well as meeting his and you live by that philosophy. It means that you burst
his bubble if he gets too ahead of himself, or if he
gets off, it goes off the rocket with a big head.
And it means that you see him in his fears and his
doubts and his struggles, and you don't let
him get away with that behavior. You pick him up out of that behavior. You see through that
behavior rather than putting him on a pedestal. I've dated a few women personally in my life.
And while they were very different women, they all had one thing in common. Not one of them
put me on a pedestal. If you want a man to see you as girlfriend and wife material, you have to
make sure that you see him as the match that you are to him, and don't put him way up there.
Number three, S is for standards and boundaries.
Standards and boundaries are how a man feels like you are a challenge to him without you
having to play dumb games. Standards mean taking time to get to know him, to see how he
performs and how he treats you in a variety of different environments. Not just being sold after
the first date. The best standards are applied over time.
They take a long time because you are
sussing that guy out if you want to commit to him, if you want to marry him and so forth.
And so the guy always feels like he has a standard to step up to because he always feels
like there's a healthy challenge there. And boundaries?
Well, to a healthy man, boundaries are going to be incredibly important. He's not going
to be looking for a codependent, needy woman, his wife material. And while he might sleep
with a really hot woman, when it comes to commitment, when it comes to what his wife
material, he's looking for, someone who respects his boundaries and who expects her
boundaries to be respected in return. Standards and
boundaries are incredibly important, not just
the idea, but the execution of them if you want a man to see you as wife material.
P is for presence and play. This is the fun of having a woman in your life for a guy.
Women often forget. You might often forget that men walk around so much of their lives in this
rigid logical planning, overthinking state, and they need that feminine energy to bring them
out of it, to get them back to the present, to get them having fun, to get them connected with
their bodies again. I can still remember my former partner. We were walking along the
street and I was thinking, over zealous, over planning in my head, stressing out, and she
just grabbed my arm, ran straight into the playground, and I totally forgot about all
of that in an instant. It's that presence and play, the
experience, the excitement that you bring to
a man's life on a consistent basis that makes him see you as wife material, as the type of
person he'd want to hang out with for life.
E number five is for engages positively with the world.
Let's be real. What do you think of when you think of husband material?
You think of a guy making great impressions on your friends, on your family.
You think of a guy not making an a*s of himself in public, not do anything silly in public.
You want someone who's your ambassador, which is totally reasonable because
as your husband, that person represents you. So whether you like it or not, you need him to be
socially accepted. Not by everyone and not a needy person, but you need someone that has
that level of social intelligence. It's exactly the same for a man. He's looking at how you
interact with the world. He's thinking, "Hey, this person is going to be my ambassador possibly
for life if I wife her, how does that make me look?" This isn't about being the biggest
extrovert in the room. Not at all. This is about being able to have a respectful, interesting
conversation with people you meet and ensuring that your impressions as you go about
the world are generally positive. Remember, a man is looking at how you will represent him
in his life when he weighs you up as wife material.
C, number six is for cultivates her own exciting life.
Esther Perel's research has demonstrated again and again, that a partner is most attracted to
another partner when the second person is off
doing their own thing that they're passionate about. Just a little distance away, cultivating
their own skillset, their own life. This isn't just a dating habit.
This is even just a relationship habit. This is a life habit to keep you happy.
And to give you the healthy and natural space that allows a man, allows your future partner,
your future husband, to come to you. Cultivating your own exciting life means keeping up
this habit for life so you can keep that attraction, and so the man knows that he will always have
a woman he can move towards, who is growing with him and cultivating her own exciting
life as his wife. And T, number seven is for trust and
appreciation. There are two common questions
that run through a man's mind and he doesn't even know it when he's assessing you as wife
material. The first one is, does she challenge me?
So earlier in the model, that's assessed by things like responsibility,
standards and boundaries, equal status. But the other question is, does she trust me?
Does she believe in me? Because you can have an ice queen, super boss woman as a man who
might challenge you, but she doesn't trust you. And you're not going to wife a woman
that doesn't trust you. Trust and appreciation means you believe in him. And even if you
don't necessarily believe he can do the thing, you believe that you're both going to be fine,
that he'll learn from it and that you're going to work through it as a couple. You don't
feel like you need to step in and do it for him. You give him that trust. And you know that even
if things don't work out, you're both going to be fine.
It's that trust that has a man stepping into
his masculine. And then when he does and he's successful, you appreciate him for it,
and he feels great around you. He feels like a man around you, and that's a feeling a man
wants to have for life. T for trust and appreciation. You, you can't do it without this last one.
You have to be able to form that trust and appreciation just as you'd want him to trust
and appreciate you. This is especially important for a
man who wants to feel masculine when he's
building a life with you. And those are the seven things.
The seven habits of non-physical attraction, incredibly important.
I've listed these as well in my book, Make Him Yours Beating The Odds Of Modern Dating.
You can find these in Chapter 11. To remind yourself, go back over them.
It is now available on Amazon, so make sure you grab it. There's also a teaser.
The free chapter is available from the link in the description below.
What do you think of the habits? I'd love to hear your thoughts, put it in the comments space
below. Let me know which one do you feel you can improve? With clients, I typically only focus
on one of these at a time, so they can build that up, build that confidence.
And it's amazing the results from even just building one of these seven aspects.
So let me know your thoughts in the comments. Hit the thumbs up button,
and thanks again for watching! I can't wait to see you in the next video very soon.