You didn't happen to bring a copy of your book with you,
did you?
I didn't.
No?
It's just-- does someone want to come?
We'll get it.
They're going to the--
they're running to the store to buy it.
As soon as they get back from the store.
Anyway, the last time you were here you posted a video of you
backstage doing something.
Oh!
You remember?
What could it be?
Geez.
Could it be me--
I'm doing-- participating in an ancient sacred Chinese
tradition--
Oh, is that what it is?
--of stealing snacks from the dressing room?
Yes.
Thank you, Claudia.
I saw that video, and I felt a lot of shame.
Uh huh.
You posted it.
I posted it.
And I felt a lot of shame for not taking the whole basket.
I see.
Yeah.
Why didn't you take the basket as well?
I should have.
Well, I brought a tote bag today.
Oh, good.
Yeah.
That's what they're there for.
Yep.
There you go.
They didn't all fit in there.
Oh, is that why?
I brought a tote bag to make my mom proud.
OK.
Next time I'm going to bring a furniture mover.
All right.
Bring some of this-- whatever you want.
It's yours.
Congratulations.
You just did 13--
was it 13 nights in a row?
Or just 13 sold out nights?
13 sold out shows at The Wiltern.
At The Wiltern.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
That's amazing.
Thanks.
It was so nice to be home.
I had come a long way from the comedy
condo days, from sleeping with my keys laced
between my fingers at night in the first floor of a Travel
Lodge.
Yeah.
It was wonderful.
And so many wonderful people came by.
I heard.
There were a lot of celebrities that went to see you.
Who went to see you?
Let's see.
Chrissy Teigen and John Legend came.
I'd never met them before.
Wow.
That's cool.
Charlize Theron came.
She was just here.
Yes.
I didn't believe that she came.
But she was like--
yeah.
That was Chrissy's idea.
She was, like, sit on John's lap.
I was like, are you sure this is OK?
Who else.
Keanu Reeves came.
Wow.
Yeah.
He owes you that.
Yeah.
I kind of owe him for being in the movie.
But it was so crazy that he came.
And he came to the dressing room afterwards.
And then I was like, do you want to go
to the other dressing room now and say hi to people?
Or you know, you can go.
And he was like, oh, I'm going to go buy merch.
Because my husband mans the merch table after the show.
People think is a joke.
This is not a joke.
It's for real, real.
Not for play, play.
My husband, who graduated from Harvard Business School,
really is, like, standing in the lobby
after the show slanging Ali Wong tote
bags, shower curtains, posters.
And Keanu was like, I want to see your husband selling merch.
And I was like, you're going to get mobbed.
And he was like, it's fine.
I mean, you know, he's like, I'm Keanu.
Who cares?
It's fine.
And he went up there, and he bought a ton of merchandise.
What did he buy?
He bought-- I think the only T-shirts left
were these maternity T-shirts that say,
I'm busy making an eyeball.
And I think he bought, like, two of those hot pink T-shirts.
I think he bought some posters and some records.
That's so sweet.
I know.
It's so sweet.
He bought maternity shirts.
Yeah.
I hope he wears them.
I hope so too!
Now it's not in the book.
But-- and here is the book, by the way.
Dear Girls.
Yes.
But you performed somewhere where Eddie Murphy--
Oh my god.
Right?
Yeah.
So when Dave Chappelle comes to town, every once in a while,
he does these, like, secret pop-up shows that make--
the tickets vaporize, like, last minute.
He puts them on sale maybe like an hour
before the show goes on.
And they're these really, like, secret special shows.
And I love doing them.
And I usually use them to try out new material.
And it's hard enough going and opening
a show where people are trying to see
Dave Chappelle, because all they're thinking the whole time
is, like, when is Dave Chappelle coming on?
When is Dave Chappelle coming on?
Get off the stage.
When is Dave Chappelle coming on?
But then Eddie Murphy was in the audience.
And I could see him.
Where was this?
What town?
Was it here?
It was in LA.
Yeah.
It was at this club on Sunset Boulevard.
There was only 100 people.
And quickly, everyone's like, the feeling in the room
was not, like, when is Dave Chappelle coming on?
It was like, oh my God.
It's Eddie Murphy!
Oh my God!
Eddie Murphy is here!
Oh my God!
Eddie Murphy is here!
Oh my God, Eddie Murphy is here!
And that's all I could think too.
And so I was planning to do new material,
but instead I did 10 minutes of, like, my very best material
at the time.
Sure.
And I ate it so hard.
No!
Yes.
Because all I could think about was,
I hope Eddie Murphy is laughing.
But everybody knows when Eddie Murphy
is or isn't laughing, because you could recognize
that signature geese honk.
Yeah.
Oh, I can't do it right now.
I can't do it!
But you know Eddie Murphy's laugh.
Yeah.
I know.
I can't do it, but I know his laugh.
Yeah.
And there were no geese to be heard.
Oh no.
Yeah.
It's terrible
Oh.
But that's the thing about standup.
You bomb all the time.
And that's part of the process.
Yeah.
This is not even that long ago!
This is, like, two years ago!
First of all, I can't imagine you bombing.
And I can't imagine people--
even though they were there to see Dave Chappelle-- saying
when is Dave Chappelle coming on, because you are awesome.
And you're hilarious.
So there's no way.
But I know we have these memories in our head of where
that laugh should be.
And if it's here instead of there, we're bombing.
So I don't think you did bomb.
We're going to take a break.
We're going to talk about the book and why you wrote it.
And it's a beautiful reason.
Thank you.
We'll be back.