- Heya playa, have you ever had a girlfriend
and felt a little uneasy about her having
so many male friends?
Well that's the question that Wyatt Mercer was leading to
when he asked me, "My girlfriend has close guy friends
"and I totally understand that but she goes to them first
"when she has problems and it makes me
"a little uncomfortable.
"It makes me feel like she doesn't trust me
"she has a thing for them, you can understand that right?"
Wyatt, I can totally understand that and in this video
I wanna explain how you can manage those type
of situations or if they need to be managed at all.
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For those of you that don't know, my name is Josh
and every single Monday through Friday
I share tips, ideas, and stories teaching
you how to be your best self.
And this time I wanna dive deeper into this question.
Is it okay, is there anything to be jealous about
if your girlfriend has male friends?
I'm sure if you're watching this video
you're probably split between two camps,
those who feel like girls shouldn't have guy friends
and those who feel like it's totally fine.
For me, I'm 100% on the side of girls having male friends.
I think it's a good thing for girls to interact
with different guys to gain different male perspectives.
But when you're in a relationship
and you feel like other guys are starting to encroach
on your territory by taking on roles
that you should feel have in the relationship
that's where it can become a problem.
From your perspective it may seem like these guys
step in and fill in the gaps of things
that you wanna do with your girlfriend
or want her to share with you.
Whether it's talking about her day,
things she's going through, asking for advice,
any of those things you may feel like you should be
the first guy that she turns to.
But from her perspective she may see it
a little differently.
Her individual relationships with each of these guys
rests on different foundations.
Some of them maybe she has a joking relationship with.
Some of them she may have a flirting relationship with.
Other guys she may turn to for advice
but ultimately if she's with you
then you are the romantic partner
you are the romantic guy that she turns to.
You're maybe scratching your head thinking
well that doesn't seem right,
why would she be in a relationship with one of those guys
when all of these guys make up
the whole guy that she needs.
I would say that's not exactly the right approach
to the question.
Different people do fill different roles
in all of our lives.
Your family takes care of you, your significant other
is the person you can go on dates with
and open up to and share things with.
You have your friends to joke around with.
And guys and girls can both fall
into that friend category.
But what Wyatt is concerned with is that when something
goes wrong his girlfriend doesn't turn to him
and share the problem with him.
She turns to the other guys first and that makes him feel
like she can't trust him.
And this is something I can totally understand.
If you're in a relationship with someone
you wanna be that emotional support for them.
You wanna be the person that they turn to
when things go wrong.
When they have a question, when they have something to share
that they know they can't share with anyone else
without being judged.
It's possible that she may not have that level
of trust with you yet Wyatt and with these guys
she's probably been friends with them for a long enough time
to know how they're gonna react
when she shares things with them.
So with you, you just have to work on building
that level of trust with her.
And a good way to start building that trust
is by using words of affirmation.
Let her know from time to time that you're there for her.
You're willing to talk and you're willing to listen.
And then from there approach things
from a non-judgemental perspective.
Whenever she shares something with you
don't jump in to telling her what she should do
or how she did it wrong or what she could do better.
Just be there to listen.
If you let her know that you're willing to listen
and then you act on it she'll start to include
you more and more in that small group of people
that she feels she can trust.
But there's a little piece there
that we haven't quite talked about and that's questioning
your girlfriend's loyalty because she has these guy friends
and because she shares and does so much with them.
Because they have that type of relationship
it's only natural to ask the question does she like them,
do they like her, where do they stand
on the romantic scale with each other.
And that's another thing you can talk
to your girlfriend about.
Let her know how you feel about these guys,
but also respect her ability
to make those decisions by herself.
To decide when a friendship is getting a little too close
and she needs to push it away.
Or when it's okay for her to share.
Those are her decisions and her actions.
And the best you can do is share how you feel
and then hope that she can share how she feels
back with you.
Relationships are about communication.
And as much as I can tell you what you should
and shouldn't do you really learn how to resolve
this issue the best if you talk to your partner about it.
What do you think though?
Are you jealous of your girlfriend, your boyfriend,
or your crush having friends of the opposite sex?
Leave your comments below and we'll talk about it.
Also if you have a question that you want me to answer
leave a comment down below or you can shoot me a message
over on SnapChat or Instagram.
I try my best to answer every single message
that I get.
So if you privately want to talk about something
we can do that over there.
Before you go, you might wanna check out some
of the videos I have linked up here on the screen.
So you can dive deeper into the topic of jealousy.
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Check it out, let me know what you guys think.
I'll catch you guys tomorrow.
As always love and peace.