I think it was honestly—out of everything I’ve ever done in my life—the greatest
experience of my life, this whole thing. I’ve never done anything like that, never lived with strangers
never expected a stranger just to pick me up from the airport and be there just because they
like my music, and look after me, and open up their home to me.
So that was a whole new thing, just even that.
I played free gigs every night which definitely,
I have ongoing battles with every promoter that puts on a gig for me
that I want tickets to be cheaper because I find it really difficult
that I’ve come all this way, and traveled so far
Even If I got one tweet from someone today saying
“I wish I could come tonight, but I’m just too poor to come”
That just breaks my heart because
I haven’t come just to play to people who can afford music
I guess that’s why the entrance was free entry.
Well, it kind of, it spiraled when I woke up one day
I definitely wanted to go to Latin America, and wanted to go and tour there
I think then when I couldn’t get any gigs,
no one would book me gigs because I wanted them to be free entry so no venues would book me
then it became difficult, then it sort of all spiraled into my fans are going to have to help me
And then fans from tiny places, tiny towns in the middle of Argentina
or in the middle of Chile were asking me to come to their towns
and then I felt really bad because the whole point of the trip was to try to make fans feel important
in places where they might not feel important, just for that one moment
If I got a message from someone saying
“Look, I’ve never been able to go to a live gig ever, because I can’t afford to get on a plane
and everyone always goes to Rio, or they go to Sao Paulo,
but I don’t live there”
that again feels like "Jesus! Man. I need to do something about that"
so then I ended up
in tiny towns, and unexpected things happened, I guess.
I never really realized that I had any power to make my fans feel anything
and just by turning up to their house, and getting on a bus, and then being there,
can make someone feel something so strong
and that, I never realized that was possible.
Do I believe in second chances?
Yes.
I do, but I think they’re harder than you realize. You kind of go
“No, I’m going to be different this time. It’s going to be different"
but actually sticking to it is also really difficult, I think, and a lot of times, with
second chance, I think there’s a lot of change that needs to happen
and that’s what’s difficult about it, but I do believe them.
I always want to go for the song that I think would mean the most to somebody.
I think Moirai
is a song that I’m most proud of writing
because it’s talking about something that I think a lot of people
or some people would have experienced what I’m trying to say in it.
I feel very sad that people have experienced it, but I guess
Moirai is the Greek god in charge of your fates
and sometimes they say use to like say
"It wasn’t meant to be if, things didn’t turn out the way I wanted to."
The more people I’ve met in the world, and the more stories I’ve heard about real heartbreak and sorrow
people have had to go through with their lives
it really made me question the whole thing, really
You know, fate, if that really is somebody’s fate? I’m not sure if it is.
I also think a lot about lost love, you know?
A great book as well—A Thousand Splendid Suns
— which kind of talks about that, about maybe that was the one, maybe you should have been together
but then it just, it was a wrong time
I don’t believe that was meant to be, in a way.
I just think that sometimes, it could just be plain and simply unfair.
So that song, I feel like when I ever would explain it on stage
or play it for people who have never heard it before
I can see the person deeply connected to it, and for that
I think that'my favorite song just for that person.
All the time.
I had this really bad jet lag, not last night, but the night before
before we flew to Osaka
I was lying in bed, just thinking. I can’t remember what happened, I was thinking
"I’m so terrible", "No one’s gonna come to my gig", and "What am I doing?"
All the time. I’m probably 90% doubtful and unsure of my ability, and 10% feel good about it
Having someone sit down, and talk to me about my music
It’s like a, kind of, self-indulged trip
because I really needed that, because I was at a point when
I don’t know if I was any good at this, and whether I should just quit music
or does the world even want it?
So I really needed that at that point in my life to be told that somebody did.
I guess it’s the same message that I’m giving myself every morning, in a way.
I guess this kind of message of a second chance
which is saying you know
"When you get older, and you look back at photos of yourself
you will 100% say “look how lovely I was”
and you’ll look at yourself adoringly when you’re older at your younger self
So try just have that hindsight now, and believe in the good you are
and believe in the person that you are
but it’s really hard
I wish I had the answers.