- Stay on your own path.
- You're on the right path.
- My path.
- Find your own path.
- You must find your own path.
- Hello, Believe Nation.
Today, we're going to talk about how you can find your path.
And as always, as people are talking
if they say something that really resonates with you,
please leave it down the comments below
and put quotes around it.
So other people can be inspired as well.
Enjoy!
(uplifting orchestral music)
- I had a yoga teacher who said to me,
always stay on your own yoga mat
because sometimes if you're on head stand
and you're too busy looking at the person on the other mat
you could literally break your neck.
(laughing)
I feel like that's a really good metaphor for life.
To stay on your own path, do what's right for you.
You can't compare your insides
with somebody else's outsides
'cause you never know what's going on
with somebody else, really.
- Every pursuit, no matter how glamorous it may seem,
no matter how exciting you are, it feels to you,
no matter how much you feel like you were born to do it,
comes with a (bleep) sandwich.
And so the question is not "What do I love?"
The question is
So for me in my life,
writing is the thing that I love.
And the (bleep) sandwich was the seven years
that I was not getting published.
And that I was coming home from my job as a diner waitress,
as a bartender, as an au pair,
as somebody who worked in flea markets, as a cook,
and I was coming home tired,
and smelling like other people's french fries,
and sitting down and doing my real job, which was to write.
And then to go to the mailbox the next day
and get another rejection letter.
And then say, “Do I still want to do this?
"'Cause this (bleep) sandwich sucks.”
(laughing)
- Am I ready to take another bite?
- And I did still want to do it
and now even as somebody who makes their living as a writer,
there’s no end to the (bleep) sandwiches.
It’s like, “Oh, hello horrible review
"in prominent newspaper."
That’s your (bleep) sandwich today, Liz.
You still want to do this work? - Yup.
- Yeah, I still do, still worth it.
Like, "Hello, awful comment on social media
"from somebody who thinks you’re a pile of dog (bleep)."
And just has chosen every possible way
that they can just
cannot get it out of their system fast enough
how much disregard they have
for your entire life. - Yup.
- Still want to do this thing?
Yeah, I still want to do it.
So that’s the question.
Because if the first time you encounter the (bleep) sandwich
you’re like, “Well, this, this isn’t worth it.”
Then that’s not the thing
you’re supposed to be doing. - Yes.
- And there are plenty of things in life that
that I have run into the (bleep) sandwich
and I’ve been like,
so not worth it.
(laughing)
So not worth it.
This is not, I don't want to do this.
Whatever the alleged benefits of this thing might be, no.
- I’m not down for this. - SoulCycle, no.
(laughing)
I know it’s probably really good for me
but I feel like throwing up right now
because this is too hard.
- [Interviewer] I’m out.
- I’m, you’ll not be seeing me here again.
And I love my sisters at SoulCycle,
I just don't like feeling like I’m going to throw up
when I exercise.
So it’s not for me.
- [Interviewer] Yeah.
- And so that’s the question.
So if you go into this thing thinking
if I follow my bliss and I live my dream
and I stand in my truth,
then everything will be great.
It doesn't mean everything will be great.
It just means at the end of the day
when you check in with yourself and you go
“In the end, on the balance,
is this still better than not doing it?"
And the answer is still
"Yeah, this thing is still better than not doing it."
Then you’re on the right path.
- Well, my whole family is funny.
I have a really funny funny family of like weird,
the whole family can tell jokes
and do the dozens and all that.
So we're always really funny around the house.
When I'd realized what I wanted to be a comedian,
it was Richard Pryor.
That's who was like, oh that's who, that's what I want to be.
(audience applauding)
1976, I think.
It was the album he put out
called That Nigger's Crazy.
(audience laughing)
And I remember just sitting and listen to it
over and over and over and over and over and over.
And that was kind of where it started.
That's where I realized what I was, what I wanted to do.
- My first gig out of college was on Wall Street,
on the New York Stock Exchange.
- [Interviewer] This is pre...
- This is pre everything.
This is just out of college, 21 years old,
and I knew, one of my drives,
I wanted to be really successful
but not just to get shoes.
I knew I wanted to make money
because I wanted to make a difference.
I wanted to be able to take care of my family,
I wanted to be able to contribute to causes
that I believe in.
And so I knew in order to do that, in my own mind,
I was like, well I want to make a lot of money
and make this stuff happen.
But when I was on Wall Street
even though so many people that I worked with
multi, multimillionaires,
I mean the money was ridiculous.
While they were financially rich
they were spiritually bankrupt.
And I felt like there was a part of me that was dying inside
and I said this is not my path.
I don't know what my path is
but I need to leave this because I feel sick.
And so I think many people feel like that.
You can find yourself in job and job and job
and you want to do a really,
you want to do great work in the world,
you're giving it your best
but some little voice inside is saying
this isn't me. - Right.
- This isn't me.
And I kept having that voice
until finally I left the corporate world
and started my own business.
- I think it's important for people to understand
that anytime you step out of what's normal in society,
you're going to have criticism.
So many people
follow the traditional plan with no thought whatsoever
as to what they really want to do in life.
They go to school, they go to high school,
they go to college, they get a degree,
they get married, they have kids.
And then they wake up at 40 years old
wondering what the (bleep) happened?
And where did my life go?
And when I think about those things
I think about how much criticism we got
when we started our first company
when we were only 19 years old.
To do all the things that you're supposed to do in society.
All the people that used to tell us,
you guys waste your time,
you need to get a degree,
you need to get a real job,
you need to quit wasting your time with this hobby.
And those are the same people now
that they're telling us how good of a (bleep) job we did
and how proud we are.
I think about that a lot.
And I think people don't realize
that the same criticism that they get
for doing anything outside of what's considered normal.
That goes for anybody that tries anything
outside of what's normal.
And I think people need to realize that
people are going to talk (bleep),
they're going to criticize,
But what's more important,
what's more important is,
is that you do what it is you think you need to do
instead of changing your path
for everybody else's happiness.
Because the reality is
the people who judge you aren't doing anything different
are the same people who can't (bleep) do it themselves.
And I feel like so many people
get so wrapped up into what other people think
that they ruin their entire lives
living a life that they don't even want to live.
Everybody's got to find their own path.
And you have to realize that when you get on that path,
you're going to (bleep) up.
You're going to make mistakes.
You're going to have bad (bleep) ups.
Like really bad.
But as long as you're willing to learn
and you're willing to take those as lessons about,
and you're smart enough
to not make those same mistakes
over and over and over again,
there's really nothing that you can't do.
- And Lola Morris asked me,
"Won't you write something in rap
"instead of spittin' on everybody?"
And I wrote it and everybody liked it
and I started doin' it more.
And then I finally won a contest.
The first thing I ever won in my life.
The thing I won fell on my graduation day,
so I chose to open up for EPMD and Kwame
and all those people
at Kemper Arena in Kansas City, Missouri
rather than walk across the stage right up the street
where all my partners were graduating.
And that's when I knew what I was going to do
for the rest of my life.
Your graduation day and you get your diploma
and you choose something else.
And then you end up doing what you do,
what you planned on doing.
And you're young and it's not written in blood
that you're going to make it.
And you move from house to house
'cause you ran away from home at 17.
You move from place to place,
from family members and friends and everything.
Trying to do music,
and then you end up doin' it.
Then you end up on the Forbes list
and working with all the people that inspired you
like Ice Cube and The Doors and Roger Troutman.
It's wonderful.
You know what I'm saying?
So that was the most monumental to me.
- While traditional paths may seem harder to find,
that also means that you may learn
sooner than most generations the hard lesson
that you must always make the path for yourself.
There is no secret society out there
that will tap you on the shoulder one night
and show you the way.
Because the true secret is,
your life will not be defined
by the society that we have left you.
To paraphrase Robert Bolt
"Society has no more idea of what you are than you do,
"because ultimately it has only your brains to think with.
"Every generation must define itself.
"And so make the world that suits itself."
So if you must find your own path,
and we have left you no easy path,
then decide now to choose the hard path
that leads to the life and the world that you want.
- [Interviewer] And I know about your school.
And I know about a certain lady
that I'd like you to tell us about
who inspired you and encouraged you to do your music.
Can you tell us a bit about her?
- Well that's Lena McLin, like my second mother.
She's a pastor and everything.
My music teacher in high school.
In high school, my freshman year
I was a, starting on Kenwood's basketball team.
That's the name of my high school.
But I haven't had a music class.
At that point in time I was,
I think I was about 16, 17.
I was not interested in music,
I was really trying to be
the next Michael Jordan, of course.
And she told me that I would sing,
I would be the next Stevie Wonder
or superstar Michael Jackson or something like that.
And I laughed at her like she was crazy.
I was, I couldn't see it,
I was, I couldn't see it.
Everything I am today
she could see it, my mother could see it
and she would tell me that I was going to be where I'm at today
and even further.
So and it just happened.
She put me in a talent show and I did the talent show
and the girls were screaming and everything.
And I was like, man,
I don't get this kind of love on the court.
And of course I'm going to choose that over basketball.
And I did, and I've been doing it ever since.
- [Interviewer] So would you say that was your big break
or was there a stage a little further down the line
that was a significant break for your music?
- I would say my big break is that point in time
I learned that Stevie Wonder riff.
That was one of the steps
'cause I felt like man if I learn that
I could learn anything.
'Cause that guy was going pretty fast.
But as far as crowd-wise and what nailed it,
I would say my first talent show pretty much
is what bit me in a way,
like Peter Parker got bit by the spider
and became Spider Man.
That was the bite for me.
When the women and everybody was showing me so much love
at the talent show and I won.
And I was like wow.
It was overwhelming.
- When did you know that you wanted to be a comedian?
Were you really young or were you a little older?
- I was young, I was in high school.
And I knew I wasn't going to college
'cause I barely got out of high school.
I said, I better find something right quick.
So what am I good at?
I was making people laugh
and I was like why are you all laughing?
They was like,
"You're funny, you remind me of Eddie Murphy."
So I said, let me try this out.
I hosted my talent show in high school
and I got my first laugh and I got an epiphany.
And I was like, I'mma do this. - Yeah.
- 'Cause it's fun and I'm already,
so that's when I found out.
I hosted my first talent show.
I hosted a talent show in high school
and I said that's what I want to do.
- The alarm clock would go off
very early every single morning.
I'd wake up, I'd check my phone immediately
for any emails that had come in.
And then it'd be shower, shave, dress in my full suit,
and jump in a car.
And that car to me
represented my first kind of drudgery task for the day.
It made me feel trapped
because I'd done all the right things.
I had gone to college,
I had been an officer in the army for eight years,
I had gone to corporate finance,
I had worked with John Hancock,
I had done commercial real estate.
I had done all the right things.
And now here I was
stuck on this hamster wheel going nowhere,
inspiring nobody, especially not myself,
and just feeling like I was trapped
in this world that I had created.
And it was a sinking pit in my stomach.
And I just was wondering why?
Why have I not found what I'm looking for
when I've done everything
that I was told I was supposed to do?
Here I am years later,
on the same hamster wheel
feeling like I'm even further behind
where I thought I was five year ago.
And this sinking mundane feeling would just not go away.
It was ever-present with me.
And I just wanted freedom.
I just wanted to do work that I was inspired by.
And I just wanted to do work that inspired others.
So there I was, stuck in traffic again.
But at least I had my podcasts, or so I thought.
Then, before I knew it, poof.
My last podcast had ended.
And I scrolled through my iPod and there was nothing left.
And I thought to myself,
“Man, I have to sit here for another 45 minutes in traffic,
with nothing but the radio?”
I was devastated, but at that moment,
at that devastation moment,
that is truly when my a-ha moment happened.
That’s when the light bulb went off.
I said “What? There’s not a seven-day-a-week podcast?
"There should be a podcast
"that comes out every single day of the week,
"that interviews inspiring and successful entrepreneurs.”
And that’s when I had my light bulb moment.
I said “There should be someone that creates it, why not me?
"I know all these great entrepreneurs
"who are hosts of their own shows,
"I could be just like them, I can do this.”
So I had all of these thoughts swirling in my head.
“Am I going to fail, am I going to look like a fool
"in front of my friends and family,
"who up to this point had only seen me as a success.”
And these were real fears.
I used to wake up sweating in the middle of the night,
saying “What am I doing?
"This is insane.”
And the only way that I would be able to go back to sleep
was by convincing myself that when I woke up in the morning,
I was going to give it all up
and go crawling back to my job in commercial real estate.
But luckily for me, I would wake up in the morning,
the sun would be shining,
and I’d say “You know what,
"I’m going to give it one more day.
"One more day, I’m going to sit down,
"I’m going to learn what it takes to upload a media file.
"I’m going to learn how to create great audio.
"I’m going to learn what it takes to be an interviewer,
"a host of a show.”
And every single day I would get shot down,
I would struggle, I would come up against another wall
that would knock me down, but I kept getting up.
I kept taking one step forward for every half-step
that I was taking back.
And slowly but surely,
I saw myself turning into a podcaster,
right before my very own eyes.
And it was a slow process,
but it did come and I was able to continue to move forward,
until the launch of Entrepreneur On Fire on September 22nd.
'Cause at that point, there was no turning back.
Fire Nation, look at what we’ve created.
Look at the inspiration we’ve spread throughout this world.
A podcast, seven days a week,
interviewing the most inspiring
and successful entrepreneurs in the world.
Seth Godin, Guy Kawasaki, Tim Ferriss, Gary Vaynerchuk.
We are listened to in over 145 countries,
millions and millions of unique downloads.
Fire Nation, look at what we’ve created.
Look at what we’ve done.
And we’ve just started.
- Thank you guys so much for watching.
I'd love to know what did you think?
What clip had the biggest impact on you
that you're going to immediately apply
to your life or your business?
Also curious about how you found your path
or any struggles that you are finding
along the journey of finding your path.
Leave it in the comments below.
And I'm super curious to figure out
what you guys have on your mind.
Finally, I want to give a quick shout out
to Kalie and Bradley.
Thank you so much for picking up a copy of my book,
Your One Word.
And for taking that awesome picture
with your Believe Tattoo.
I love it!
Thank you so much for sharing that as well.
So thank you guys again for watching.
I believe in you.
I hope you continue to believe in yourself
and whatever your one word is,
much love.
I'll see you soon.