In 1948, that was when Gurudev
had that great samadhi.
After that experience that started in the evening,
he called some of us mentally.
I was in the office at the time
and suddenly I had the feeling I had to go to Master's room.
I just stopped what I was doing and went up to Guruji's room.
And the door was open;
he motioned to come in and I could see immediately
he was very withdrawn
— his face, his eyes, his expression.
We had seen that on occasion when he would go into samadhi.
And one by one different of the disciples were called mentally almost,
I think most of us were.
Daya Mata was certainly there, Ananda Ma,
the Lewises were there.
And he went into his room
on the chair that is there in the sitting room now
that was in his bedroom at the time
and he called us all in there.
We sat on the floor.
He said to us, "I don't know what is happening to me.
Divine Mother is calling me within.
I don't know if She's going to take me from this body."
And so he sat on his chair
and then he went deep into this state of Samadhi
and that lasted all night.
He talked to Divine Mother,
just an unending flow of conversation all night long.
But he said to us afterward,
and we saw during that Samadhi
that Divine Mother did something unique
for those of us who were present.
She used his voice to respond.
So we were hearing the two-way conversation;
when Master would speak it was his voice.
When Divine Mother spoke it was a different tone of voice.
So this went on all night
until about 9-10 o'clock the next morning,
and he began to come out of that
— out of that state.
I remember thinking — I think perhaps I was feeling what Arjuna felt
after the vision of visions and seeing the tremendous God,
the Infinite that had expressed in and through that form.
And as Arjuna said, oh, he threw himself at his Krishna's feet and said,
“Forgive me that I ever thought of you as comrade or friend.”
And then Krishna reassured him,
showed him that personality,
that beloved, approachable Divine form.
And so that is how I was feeling:
“My, is my Guru always now going to be in this state?
I would be in awe to ever approach him
in the same way.
And, as if in reading the thoughts of probably many of us
— those of us who were there,
he looked around at each of us and he said,
“I will always be in this state now,
but no one will know.”
In other words he pulled that mantle again around that infinite consciousness,
and he became again our beloved Guru,
our Divine Father, Mother, Friend.
But it was shortly after that, that he said,
“I have to give time now to my writings.
Divine Mother —”
She didn't take me in other words, I still have some work to do.
He knew that God was calling him to greater seclusion.
So in his little desert retreat
when he could tear himself away
from Encinitas and Mount Washington activities
After '48 he didn't speak regularly as he had always done,
alternating between San Diego and Hollywood Temples
— one Sunday one, next Sunday in the other temple.
He spoke only few times and more sporadically.
And he began to spend then more time at the desert.
He used to say
because people continued to write,
missing seeing him, but he would say,
“I can do much more now
to reach others with my pen.”
He didn't have the time anymore
to just give one-on-one interviews.
So his whole, his whole consciousness
became absorbed in that,
finishing what he felt Divine Mother wanted him
to finish in the way of his writings.
He went over the Lessons.
He went over many of the previously published articles and items.
He worked with Tara Ma, I know, on “The Whispers,”
and he dictated to all of us,
and we all took a turn typing
and he would dictate on his manuscripts.
And he would be totally, totally lost, totally absorbed;
hours would go by and we would have to remind him,
“Master, you have been sitting so many hours.
Shouldn't you take some food? Shouldn't you take a break?”
And usually he would say, "No, my consciousness is in it.
I have to finish. I have to finish."