- Do you normally do it like this? Like for real, for real,
or are you just playing with me? - Yeah.
- Woah, what? - I'm gonna pull my slice.
- What the heck?
- I like two corner pieces.
- Don't knock it til you try it.
- People can do whatever they want,
as long as I don't have to watch it.
- (sighs) Ugh.
♪ (upbeat swing intro) ♪
- (PvF) Alright, so today, we are conducting a food investigation.
- Food investigation?
- Ooh.
- I didn't bring my magnifying glass.
- (PvF) We really wanna see how you guys cut up certain foods.
- Hmm. - Interesting.
- (PvF) What we haven't told our reactors
is that secretly, one of them is a plant
trying to make the other one mad.
- So, is there a right way and a wrong way?
- I mean, there's rules.
- If people are gonna do some weird ass [censored],
like, that's not gonna fly with me.
- There will be people who think it's the wrong way.
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. - How you do it. (laughs)
- (sighs) Ugh.
- Honestly, I'm already infuriated. I'm ready for this.
- Call me Edward Scissorhands, I'm gonna start cutting stuff.
- Cake! - Wow, it's not even my birthday!
- It is now.
- Mine was last week. - It's mine.
No it's not. (laughs)
I'm ready to cut this cake.
- There's gonna be a spring inside
that just springs the cake into my face, I already feel it.
- (PvF) So, not your birthday, but I would love for you guys
to cut me a slice of cake.
- One slice? - (PvF) One slice.
- Start cutting. - Okay. (laughs)
- I'm just cutting right down the middle, kind of.
- This is cutting so beautifully.
- (Libby) Ooh, it's chocolate.
- (Zaria) I'm cutting it better than you are.
- Oh, I think you're cutting in a very interesting fashion.
- Yeah.
- Oh my God. - Wait.
- Everything is coming up roses.
Here's my lovely slice of cake for you, my love.
- Okay, well I'm totally doing it correctly, because my way means
that everybody gets frosting, and not one person...
- My way, my way... - Your way is the correct way?
- Yes. - Okay.
- (PvF) Alright, do you see Rna's slice of cake?
- Woah, what the heck? - I'm gonna pull my slice.
I like two corner pieces.
- Mmm, I would eat that.
- But your way means I don't get the frosting I want.
- See, this is how I like to do things.
- I think you like cutting things, which is good.
That's a fun thing. - Yeah, mm-hmm, I do, actually.
Nice operation.
- Don't you realize that this cake right here
is basically the same as when you cut one slice down?
- Yeah, that's a good point.
I mean, you can really steal a lot of cake that way,
and no one would ever even bat an eye,
because they'd go, ah, this is just a cake.
- (Zaria) Everyone gets even slices.
- They're just more, it's more logical.
- I'm not gonna lie, I would still eat yours,
and it's kinda giving me like an Oreo cookie crumble
a little bit on the sides. - Oh, you know.
- I thought yours looked like a lot of fun.
- What's the point of food if you're not gonna get a little messy, right?
- I hate but love that you're so right.
- My OCD is, you know, in the back of my mind,
like tweaking out a little bit.
- I actually don't like cake.
- Come on. - It's avant-garde,
it's very New York, it's very like, you know,
I woke up like this and I don't give a [censored], you know?
- Who taught you to cut a cake,
since you were so convinced you're a proper cutter?
- (PvF) Okay, are you ready for your next thing to slice up?
- I am ready to slice. - Yes ma'am.
- (Ed) Alright. - (PvF) Let's see how you slice.
- So we have a bagel. - A bagel!
- (PvF) Alright, I mean, this is just a bagel.
How would you slice a bagel?
- Okay, but wait a second, where's the bagel cutter?
- Being originally from the east coast,
I've been around a lot of bagels.
- Okay, I'm gonna watch you then.
- I have a bagel cutter...
- Oh, we're not doing bagel cutters here.
- You put it in like this, and you guillotine it.
Boom, done!
Oh, it's great. - ...down the middle?
- And I always slice it unevenly, and I hate myself for it.
- Oh were you one of those students in school
who when the teacher said yes, you said no?
- Yeah, maybe. - Mm-hmm.
How'd I know that? - Good guess though! (laughs)
- Yeah, see this is the way to go that people don't really know about.
Like, you know, I would put like Gordon Ramsay to shame.
- I think I'm gonna cry.
- You gotta just get a nice cut in first, you know,
and then you kinda gotta go around the edges
and kinda soften it up.
- Mm-hmm, this, trust me, trust me.
- I think I actually have tears coming out of my eyes.
- Trust me, don't knock it til you try it.
There's reasoning behind this.
- The birds will love it. (laughs)
- The birds, you are such a... - Oh my God, this is huh?
- Tell me that's not beautiful.
- I did murder my bagel.
- Well I murdered my bagel too, but just in a different way.
- Bro, that's like the perfect dipping size!
- It's not even just the perfect dipping slice,
it makes one bagel go such a long way.
- Wow.
- That's cute, that's a cute idea.
That's very interesting. I like 'em like this.
This is cute, Gaga would like die over this, actually, so...
- Do you think maybe this person would feel cheated?
(both laugh)
Well it's too much crust, I didn't want that piece!
- (PvF) What would you do, George,
if someone served a bagel like this to you at a restaurant?
- I would say thank you so much, monsieur.
It looks delicious!
- I love cream cheese, I slap a lot of it on there.
- Okay, imagine how much cream cheese you can get across here.
- A lot. - Right?
- (PvF) So do you actually like the way Ed cut his bagel better?
(Ed laughs) - No, I like mine better.
- How would you feel if you got this piece?
- Mad, right? - Yeah, you'd be annoyed.
- (Zaria) I know.
- So you can kind of butter it and then toast it in a pan.
- This is genius. - Yeah.
- Bro.
- You can make bruschetta with it.
- I don't even know what that is, but I bet it's fire.
- Wow, you learn something new every day.
It did take me a long time to cut this bagel.
- Man, I feel so lost.
- You know, people can do whatever they want with their food.
- Mm-hmm, yeah.
- As long as I don't have to watch it, you know?
- (PvF) Alright, are you guys ready for your next thing to cut?
- I think so.
Bye Bagel!
- I'm keeping this piece.
- Oh, it's an avocado! - (PvF) Avocados.
- Oh God. - (PvF) I'm gonna toss.
- Oh see. - This is something I love.
- Amazing. - Of course.
- (PvF) The avocado.
- Of course, we're in California, we have an avocado here.
- So I've never cut an avocado in my life.
- Oh!
- I've only ever seen videos of people doing it.
(George taps fingers)
- Almost there, almost, oh, you almost got it, almost.
- Avocados, really? There we go, okay.
- What the heck bro?
I already know I'm doing it wrong.
- She is not budging. The seed is not budging, oh!
Okay.
- This is like the cleanest one. - What is this? (laughs)
- (PvF) Look at that!
- Oh, alright! - Efficient.
That's efficient, usually I'll hold it like this,
and this comes off. - That's very good.
- Over here we have a sweet potato mashed together,
and over here we have very nice sliced avocado.
- Very aesthetic.
- Do you normally do it like this?
Like for real, for real, or are you just playing with me?
- Yeah, no, I really, this is how I cut things.
- No, you're lying to me. This is a joke.
There's no way you cut it like that.
Do you really? - Why not, yeah.
- Stop it!
- I think people would love this.
- Would love that?
What about with the seed, like this one?
- No no, no seed.
- You can put it on sandwiches, it's just perfectly sliced.
- See at the same time,
like now, I can aesthetically layer these on my sandwich.
- Why are all of your cuttings so creative?
Like it's not something you think about
until you see it, and you're like that makes sense.
- Oh, I don't know.
I guess it's just like how you learn things.
- Oh, it's an avocado donut! Oh look!
- It's not fun to do things the traditional way,
like clearly, there's other ways to do this.
- Yeah, I mean clearly. - Clearly.
- I think they're cute.
- (PvF) Onto our next thing. - Cool.
- (PvF) I really hope you don't mess this one up.
- Uh oh. - (PvF) It is a pizza.
- My favorite food. - Really?
- I don't like crust.
- Well why are you eating pizza?
- So you know what? I'm thinking about folding it in half.
- Okay.
Why are you looking at me like that?
- All I'm envisioning is you being like okay,
and then just going around and around and around.
- Are you cutting out just the middle? What the heck?
- (PvF) Slice!
- Okay, so you don't like the edges.
- It just looks like, honestly, a portal to Hell.
- My mom... - I feel like Lil Nas is...
(whistles) Call me when you want, call me when you need.
- He's just like spinning down right here along the portal though.
- Ah. (growls) - What?
- (PvF) So I have to let you know that there is an imposter among us.
- I thought so, I [censored] knew it.
- He's like it's a good thing I didn't eat anything. (laughs)
- Actually, the whole time,
I was supposed to be trying to make you mad
with the way I was cutting my vegetables and fruits.
- I cut it the way that I knew would make it weird for you.
(laughs)
- There were some moments
where I thought that you were a little bit mad.
- It's hard to make me mad.
I mean, you gotta like do something really stupid.
- I wonder what would have happened if I had been the one to be annoying.
I bet I could have annoyed you a lot.
- I bet.
- Thanks for watching this episode of People Vs Food.
- If you liked this episode,
make sure you hit that Like button and subscribe.
- Let us know what else you'd like us to eat in the comments below.
- Cake it easy!
- And have an avo-day.
(Zaria laughs)
- (sighs) Ugh.