-Welcome, welcome, welcome, to "The Tonight Show."
You're here. You made it.
Thank you for watching.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Guys, I'm excited about this.
Kim Kardashian is my guest tonight.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Kim is amazing.
She's a business mogul, a fashion icon, a reality star.
And if she wants to be,
the 47th President of the United States.
That's what I'm talking about, tonight.
If she wants. If she wants.
Of course I'm in a good mood today.
It's the first day of summer.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Seriously, I heard so many white claws crack open today.
I thought the -- I thought the cicadas were back.
[ Laughter ]
You could tell it's summer.
This morning, my Uber driver drove around with the top down.
And by the top, I mean his shirt.
[ Laughter ]
But yes, summer is here, which means you've got about
a weekend till it's pumpkin season at Starbucks, so...
[ Applause ]
That's right, today is the summer solstice,
which means it's the longest day of the year.
[ Cheering ]
So if today felt extra long,
you're either in our hemisphere or you own bitcoin.
[ Laughter ]
Let's get to some news.
Starting today, kids under five
can start getting Covid vaccines,
so President Biden visited a clinic that was giving them out.
Yeah. After a few minutes
of listening to Biden, the kids were like,
"Wow, this really is the longest day of the year."
[ Laughter ]
But this is sweet. At one point a five-year-old
offered Joe Biden training wheels for his bike.
I thought that was so sweet and so nice.
[ Rimshot ]
Switching gears, apparently -- apparently, there's an old
episode of "Sesame Street" that hasn't re-aired for decades
because it was too frightening for children.
Yeah, but it just resurfaced online.
And, honestly, I'm not sure why it's considered so scary.
Take a look at this.
-Have you ever noticed how there's lots
of different ways to love.
Like there's the way you love your family.
And the way you love your --
-[ Screaming ]
[ Laughter ]
-Oh, my God.
I always get you.
Always with the jumpscare, always get you.
Even it's Elmo. [ Laughter ]
Do we have a camera that was On Quest or --
-No!
-We do? -[ Screams ]
[ Laughter ]
-Elmo got him.
[ Laughter ]
Some business news, I saw that Uber is bringing back Uber Pool.
But now, they're calling it UberX Share.
-Ooh. -Yeah.
Brand new name, same mix of smells.
[ Laughter ]
That's right, they're going from Uber Pool to UberX Share.
That's way better than what it really is, Uber Covid.
[ Laughter ]
Hey, listen to this.
Today Starbucks debuted
their first-ever chicken sandwich.
Yeah, 'cause one thing people
love dunking in coffee is poultry.
[ Laughter ]
By the way, if they don't call it Starclucks,
I want someone fired. That's a mistake.
[ Laughter ]
Hey, did you guys see this?
The Tampa Bay Lightning are currently
in the Stanley Cup finals, and one local reporter
decided to show his team spirit by getting
a lightning bolt shaved into his head.
Let's see how that went.
-Alright, so let me tell you about Sean Riviera.
He is a master barber from Ebory.
He has at Ferrari Barber Shop.
Is that right, Sean? -Yes, sir.
-I don't want to scare you but it really doesn't
look like a lightning bolt.
-Can you explain what you just did?
-So, we put the two lines in for the first championship.
We put a little bolt here.
We put a bolt coming through here,
and then we put a bolt here.
-What?
[ Sad trombone, rimshot ]
[ Laughter ]
-Now he's just going to support the team by wearing a hat
for the next three months.
And finally, guys, it's Tuesday.
It's time for "WeTweet," here we go.
-♪ WeTweet ♪
♪ WeTweet ♪
-Now welcome -- welcome to "WeTweet."
This is where we, as a group, decide something
that we should post on Twitter.
I'm going to show you five different tweets,
and we're all going to vote on whether
you like each one or not.
You all have voting clickers at your seats? Very good.
Now you can -- you can vote for all of them.
You can vote for none of them.
Whatever you want.
We will see the results live.
Higgins, Roots, you have your clickers?
-Got it. -Yes, we do.
-Good. Alright.
Now, whatever tweet gets the most likes,
we'll tweet it out live on the show
so that you can all like it and "WeTweet" it.
[ Cheering ]
It's a shared experience.
Okay, are you guys ready for this?
Our first tweet is...
[ Laughter ]
I have an idea.
-Wow.
[ Laughter ]
-I can tell -- I can tell just --
even with the masks on,
I can tell how disappointed the audience is.
I can feel it. -They're tragically delicious.
-Do you think 100 percent no on this?
-I'm going to say 80 percent no.
-Yeah I'm gonna go a little higher, 95 percent no.
-95 percent no?
-I know one person that voted yes.
-Voted yes? -Yeah.
-Oh, you're being nice.
The votes are in. Let's see the results.
Boing. There you go.
Alright, no problem.
We have four more. -We got four more.
-We got four more. Here we go. -That was just a test run.
[ Laughter ]
Tepid.
-You don't have to -- you don't have to aim
the clickers at me, by the way.
[ Laughter ]
I saw some -- some gentleman's out there...
-Change. -Don't get mad at me.
I have nothing to do with it. -Change.
That doesn't help or hurt the results.
-He's trying to change the joke.
-I don't know if that's -- that one's going to win either.
Let's see the results on that one.
[ Drumroll ]
Yeah, not good. Yeah, these are not great.
Alright, here we go.
How about -- let's try this next one here?
Here we go. This one...
[ Laughter ]
I feel like that -- I feel good about that one
-Well, out of the three, yeah.
-I think we feel good about that one.
-That one's through the roof.
-Right, that one's -- you think a hundy?
-Not a hundy, but close.
I feel like you starved them out first,
so now, you know, they're hungry.
-I'm going to say 144.
-I didn't do it on purpose, by the way.
I'm just reading the tweets, and they just happen
to be in this order, yeah. -Okay.
-They don't get better necessarily.
[ Laughter ]
Just so you know. If you haven't --
Anyway, let's see the results.
-144.
-Whoa! -177.
[ Applause ]
-Wow! 177. -I knew that
was going to be a good one.
Alright. we have -- Is this our last one?
-No, two more. -Two more.
-Alright, good. You have two more.
If you haven't started playing, now --
[ Laughter ]
Alright, how about this one here.
[ Laughter ]
♪♪
-Yeah, it's like -- yeah, that's -- yeah.
What do you -- what result are you not getting, sir?
[ Laughter ]
You're not going to see any result by pointing it
at anything or aiming it at me.
Nothing comes on the screen until we're ready.
So, just have fun, relax. -Beep.
-We're all on is this ride together.
Here we go.
Let's see the results on this one.
Yeah, that figures. Alright, I got you.
Alright.
This is the last one here. This is your last time.
I think pigs are going to be the one that's going to win.
-Yeah, but this one --
-But this one's pretty good, too.
This is the last one here for "WeTweet."
Here we go. The last one is...
[ Laughter ]
-I like that one. -Yeah.
-By far. -By far the best kids game?
-By far the best kids game.
-By far out of all of the kids game.
-Out of all of the naked operation games...
-That's correct. -Operation is by far --
-That's right, by far. Alright.
-Unless you're playing with a leprechaun.
-Time to see the results. Here they are.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-No! No! No!
The winner by one is pig relationships.
[ Ding! ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Wow, that's fantastic.
I will post this during the commercial break.
If you see it on your feed, give it a like.
Give it a "WeTweet" and enjoy.