♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.
JOINING ME NOW IS AN ACTOR YOU KNOW BEST FROM "ARRESTED
DEVELOPMENT," "THE LEGO MOVIES," AND THE PODCAST, SMARTLESS.
HE ALSO HOSTS LEGO MASTERS, WHICH STARTS ITS SECOND SEASON
ON JUNE 1.
PLEASE WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW," WILL ARNETT.
HEY, WILL ARNETT.
>> HI, THERE, STEFAN COLBERT.
THAT'S WHAT THEY WOULD CALL YOU IN QUEBEC.
>> Stephen: WOULD THEY?
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: ARE YOU FROM QUEBEC?
>> FIRST OF ALL, NO.
>> Stephen: WOW.
I GOT NOTHING AGAINST THEM.
WHAT'S WRONG-- WHAT'S WRONG WITH--
>> NOTHING, I DON'T KNOW WHY I HAD THAT REACTION.
>> Stephen: WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO EDIT THAT PART OUT OF THE
INTERVIEW SO YOU DON'T ALIENATE THAT MARKETPLACE?
>> NO ( LAUGHING ).
>> Stephen: LET IT RIDE.
>> I LOVE QUEBEC.
I HAVE ACTUALLY SPENT A LOT OF TIME IN QUEBEC.
I LIVED THERE BRIEFLY.
>> Stephen: IT'S THE PEOPLE FROM THE MARITIMES YOU HATE,
RIGHT?
THE NEWFIES.
>> NEW BRUNSWICK.
AND IF YOU BRING UP P.E.I.-- >> Stephen: YOU HAVE LONG
SAID, "JUST SCRAB IT INTO THE NORTH ATLANTIC.
I DO NOT CARE."
>> CUT IT LOOSE.
THEY'RE JUST ATTACHED BY THAT BRIDGE.
CUT THE BRIDGE OFF AND LET THEM GO AWAY.
>> Stephen: I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SMARTLESS.
I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THE PODCAST.
DUN IT WAS GOING TO BE AS SUCCESSFUL AS IT IS?
DID YOU HAVE ANY SENSE?
IT'S FREQUENTLY ONE OF THE TOP STREAMING PODCASTS EVERY WEEK.
WHEN DID YOU KNOW YOU HAD A HIT ON YOUR HANDS?
>> WELL, FIRST OF ALL, LOOK AT ME.
DO I LOOK LIKE I KNEW IT WAS GOING TO BE A SUCCESS?
I DO LOOK LIKE I KNOW ANYTHING?
>> Stephen: WELL, YOU'VE MOVED IN TO A RECORDING BOOTH,
EVIDENTLY.
THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I'VE INTERVIEWED SOMEONE OVER A YEAR
AND TWO MONTHS WHO ISN'T IN FRONT OF A BOOKSHELF OR
SOMETHING.
>> AM I THE FIRST PERSON YOU'VE INTERVIEWED WHO HAS BEEN IN A
RECORDING BOOTH?
>> Stephen: I THINK SO.
I DON'T REMEMBER ANOTHER PERSON.
>> THIS IS-- YEAH, THIS IS MY HOME-- IT'S LIKE LIVING --
>> Stephen: TERRY GROSS WASN'T IN A RECORDING STUDIO.
TERRY GROSS IS LESS PROFESSIONAL THAN YOU LOOK RIGHT NOW.
>> FIRST OF ALL, I LIKE THAT-- THIS IS WHAT A BAD SET WILL BE
FOR REST OF MY LIFE, THAT I'M MORE PROFESSIONAL THAN TERRY
GROSS.
>> Stephen: MORE PROFESSIONAL LOOKING.
>> SORRY, LOOK, YEAH.
>> Stephen: TELL THE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO IS SMARTLESS.
THEY MAY NOT KNOW WHO THE PLAYERS IN THIS CAVALCADE.
>> YOU HAVE JASON BATEMAN.
>> Stephen: AMERICA'S SWEETHEART.
>> HE IS AMERICA'S SWEETHEART AND HAS BEEN FOR A LONG TIME.
>> Stephen: SURE.
>> SEAN HAYES, WHO IS ALSO AMERICA'S SWEETHEART.
>> Stephen: I WAS GOING TO SAY THE THING, ALSO AMERICA'S
SWEETHEART.
THEY MIGHT HAVE TO FIGHT TO SETTLE WHO IS AMERICA'S
SWEETHEART.
>> WHO IS AMERICA'S SWEETHEART, AND ME, WHO IS CANADA'S REJECT.
SO THE THREE OF US HOST A SHOW.
WE KIND-- BOY, I TELL YOU, THIS THING TOOK OFF, AND WE DIDN'T
MEAN IT TO.
WE JUST STARTED RECORDING EPISODE, AND WHAT THE HECK.
>> Stephen: YOU'VE SAID ON THE PODCAST THAT EVERYONE IN SHOW
BUSINESS HAS A TERRIBLE AUDITION STORY.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: BUT I HAVE NOT HEARD YOUR TERRIBLE AUDITION
STORY.
CAN YOU PONY-- CAN YOU ANTE UP?
>> YEARS AGO, I AUDITIONED-- I HAD TO GO AUDITION FOR EYE HAD A
CALL-BACK AUDITION FOR THIS KEVIN COSTNER VEHICLE.
IT WAS A PICTURE CALLED "THE POSTMAN."
SORRY, I SPEAK IN OLD-TIME HOLLYWOOD VERNACULAR.
IT WAS A TREMENDOUS PICTURE, AND I GET A CALL-- I GET A
CALL-BACK.
I HAVE TO GO SHOW UP AND MEET WITH HIM.
THE NIGHT BEFORE I GO FOR SUSHI, AND WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT I WAKE
UP IN THE NIGHT AND I AM THROWING AND GOING.
SO I GO -- >> Stephen: EVERYTHING, ALL
THE TAPS ARE OPEN.
( LAUGHTER )
PULLED OPEN ALL THE STOPS.
( LAUGHTER )
GO AHEAD.
>> ABSOLUTELY TRUE.
SO I HOP IN A CAB AND GO TO ONE OF THOSE FANCY EASTSIDE
HOSPITALS OVER THERE ON HOSPITAL ROW.
BY THE WAY, IT'S NICE HOW CITIES HAVE HOSPITAL ROWS.
WOULDN'T YOU SPREAD THEM OUT?
WHY DO YOU PUT THEM ALL IN THE SAME SPOT?
HOW STUPID IS THAT?
ANYWAY, I HAVE SUCH A BEEF WITH THE NEW YORK HOSPITAL COMMITTEE.
I GO THERE-- I WAKE UP THE NEXT DAY.
AND THEY HAD TO GIVE ME AN I.V.
DRIP.
AND I DON'T KNOW WHY I REMEMBER THIS DETAIL.
IT WAS 90 DEGREES OUT, NEW YORK, HOT AND SWEATY.
I WORE JEANS-- BECAUSE I THOUGHT I WOULD BE COMFORTABLE-- I WORE
A REALLY RATTY-LOOKING HAWAIIAN SHIRT, AND I GOTTA GO MEET WITH
KEVIN COSTNER IN HIS HOTEL SUITE AT THE ESSEX HOUSE OR ONE OF
THOSE FANCY CENTRAL PARK HOTELS.
I GO I'M NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO KEEP THIS TOGETHER AND I NEED TO
KNOW WHERE THE BATHROOM IS AT ALL TIMES.
BECAUSE THIS IS-- THIS IS ABOUT TO GET-- I COME IN THERE.
I HAVEN'T SLEPT.
I LOOK LUKE SOME KIND OF ZOMBIE JUNKY OR SOMETHING.
AND I COM IN THERE, "NICE TO MEET YOU."
AND I JUST THINK WE'RE GOING TO TALK.
AND HE SAID, "GREAT, LET'S DO THE SCENE."
AND I THOUGHT HERE WE GO.
AND I STAND UP AND I THINK, DON'T-- PLEASE DON'T CRAP YOUR
PANTS IN FRONT OF KEVIN COSTNER.
PLEASE DON'T.
SO I DO-- I DO THE SCENE.
AND I-- I MADE IT THROUGH.
I HELD ON.
AND THEN I HAD TO GO DOWNSTAIRS EYE GOT IN THE ELEVATOR "NICE TO
MEET YOU."
I WENT DOWN AND WENT TO THE BATHROOM IN THE LOBBY.
BIT REMEMBER THINK AGO.
>> Stephen: IN A BATHROOM IN THE LOBBY, NOT IN THE LOBBY.
>> RIGHT BY REGISTRATION.
I THOUGHT, "YOU'LL NEVER HEAR ABOUT THAT."
>> Stephen: A REALLY GOOD HOTEL DOESN'T MIND.
>> BY THE WAY, A GREAT HOTEL-- YOU KNOW-- THE HOTELS.
THAT'S THE ULTIMATE SPOT IF YOU NEED TO-- WHEREVER-- AND NOT TO
BE TOO INDELICATE, BUT IN A PINCH, A HOTEL IS GREAT.
>> Stephen: SURE.
THAT'S WHAT THE-- THAT'S THE CONCIERGE-- THAT'S ONE OF THE
THINGS THE CONCIERGE DOES FOR YOU.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> I MIGHT DO AN APP.
I'M THINKING OF DOING AN APP OF THE BEST HOTEL BATHROOMS.
AND YOU PULL IT UP.
"I'M IN 500 TREAT OF A REALLY GREAT FLOOR-TO-CEILING,
DOOR-CLOSING STALL GLI KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
YOU COULD NOT SLIP A CARD UNDERNEATH THE DOOR.
IT'S FANTASTIC.
>> NOW, YOU'RE IN...
>> Stephen: YEAH, YEAH ( LAUGHING )
>> ANYWAY, I DIDN'T GET THE MOVIE --
>> Stephen: SECOND QUESTION.
WE'RE ON THE SECOND QUESTION AT THIS POINT.
( LAUGHTER )
I HAVE NOT SEEN IT LATELY.
I WASN'T SURE.
>> BECAUSE OF THAT, STEPHEN, BECAUSE OF THAT, I DECIDED TO
HOST "LEGO MASTERS," A TREMENDOUS BUILDING SHOW ABOUT
PEOPLE BUILDING-- I JUST WANTED YOU TO SKIP --
>> Stephen: I'M-- WE'RE SKIPPING EVERYTHING ELSE.
THERE YOU GO.
NOW, I'VE HEARD A LOT ABOUT THIS LEGO MASTERS THING YOU'RE DOING,
BECAUSE YOU'RE LEGO BATMAN, WHICH EVERYBODY KNOWS.
UPPER ACTUALLY ONCE ACTUAL BATMAN.
32 YOU-- WHAT IS THIS AT THE-- WHAT IS THIS THE EMMYS, THE
OSCARS?
>> THAT'S THE OSCARS, THE ACADEMY AWARDS.
>> Stephen: SORRY, THE ACADEMY AWARDS.
I REALIZE YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO CALL THEM "THE OSCARS."
>> WE DON'T LIKE IT.
>> Stephen: "WE?" ARE YOU A MEMBER OF THE ACADEMY?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
IS ANYBODY A MEMBER OF ANYTHING.
THE POINT IS THAT, YOU KNOW, THAT I WAS THERE AT THE ACADEMY
AWARDS ON STAGE, AND, ACTUALLY, I WAS ABOUT TO GO ON STAGE.
I WAS BACKSTAGE-- BACKSTAGE AT THE ACADEMY AWARDS IS JUST LOOK
A TRAFFIC JAM OF, LIKE, THE CRAZIEST CELEBRITIES.
>> Stephen: SURE >> AND IT'S LIKE BRAD PITT AND
CHAKA KHAN.
AND IT'S JUST-- IT'S SO MENTAL, RIGHT.
>> Stephen: I DIDN'T KNOW BRAD PITT AND CHAKA KHAN WERE DATING.
REALLY?
>> THEY WERE-- THEY WERE GOING TO DO A PICTURE FOR M.G.M., AT
ONE POINT.
SO, ANYWAY, I'M IN THERE, AND I'M WEARING THE FULL SUIT.
AND FRENCH FILM STAR-- FRENCH FILM DYNAMO MARANNE COUTIERRE,
AND IN ME EAR SHE SAYS, "DIDN'T I KILL YOU?"
>> Stephen: WOW, THAT'S SEXY.
>> VERY CHILLING.
>> Stephen: YEAH ALSO KIND OF INDICATIVE THAT SHE NEVER SAW
THE END OF "THE DARK KNIGHT RISES."
I DID MY SCENE.
I DON'T CARE WHAT HAPPENS AFTER THIS.
YOU'RE SO CLOSELY ASSOCIATED WITH LEGO AT THIS POINT, LAST
YEAR YOU ENDED UP HOSTING AND PRODUCING-- BECAUSE THAT'S VERY
IMPORTANT BECAUSE DADDY GETS HIS BEAK WET-- A NEW REALITY SHOW--
COME ON.
IT'S SHOW BUSINESS, BABY!
OKAY?
>> IT'S NOT SHOW FRIENDS.
>> Stephen: NO, IT'S NOT SHOW FRIENDS.
IT'S NOT SHOW ARTS.
LEGO MASTERS IS THE NAME OF THE SHOW.
SEASON TWO STARTS JUNE 1.
WHAT SHOULD FANS EXPECT?
>> DID YOU LIKE GOOD TIMES?
( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: I DO-- I DO LIKE GOOD TIMES.
( LAUGHTER )
MIKE -- >> Stephen: I'VE NEVER BEEN
ASKED-- I'VE NEVER BEEN ASKED THAT QUESTION BEFORE, OTHER THAN
A WOMAN THROUGH A WINDOW ON A STREET CORNER.
>> NEVER ABOUT A TV SHOW?
>> Stephen: NEVER, NEVER.
( LAUGHTER )
KNOW WHAT I SAID, WHEN WE WERE PITCHING THE SHOW-- WHEN WE WERE
PITCHING THE SHOW, I MARCHED-- I MARCHED INTO THE OFFICE OF THE
BRASS AT FOX, I MARCHED IN THERE.
>> Stephen: OH, SURE.
>> AND THEY ALL SAT THERE, ALL THE BRASS, AND THEY SAID, "WHAT
HAVE YOU GOT FOR US?" AND I SAID-- I TOOK A BEAT.
I HAD MY WHOLE CREW WITH ME.
I HAD THE WHOLE LEGO CREW BEHIND ME.
>> Stephen: SURE, SURE.
>> AND I LOOKED UP AT THEM AND I SAID, "DO YOU LIKE EMMYS?"
AND THEY THOUGHT I WAS KIDDING AT FIRST.
AND THEN THEY LOOKED AROUND AND HUDDLED UP AND THEY WHISPERED
AND STUFF AND THEY COME BACK AND SAID, "YEAH, WE LIKE EMMYS."
I SAID, "GREAT, THIS DEAL IS DONE."
>> Stephen: NOW, NOW.
>> YUP.
>> Stephen: IMAGINE THAT I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO
HAPPEN NEXT SEASON.
YOU CAN GIVE ME ANY INDICATION AT ALL OF WHAT HAPPENS ON THE
SHOW?
>> YOU WHAN WE DID ON THE SHOW THIS YEAR-- LAST YEAR WE HAD A
LOT OF GREAT BUILDERS.
THIS YEAR, BECAUSE OF THE SUCCESS OF THE FIRST SEASON, WE
HAVE TONS OF GREAT BUILDERS CAME FROM ALL OVER THE COUNTRY-- EVEN
MORE.
AND PEOPLE ALSO LIKE IT WHEN YOU-- WHEN YOU-- WHEN YOU BREAK
LEGGOS.
THEY KIND OF LOVE/HATE IT WHEN YOU DO IT.
>> Stephen: SURE.
>> WE JUST DID IT A LOT.
AND WE WERE SCBLODDING-- WE ACTUALLY HAD LIKE AN ACTUAL
EXPLOSIVE EXPERT IN THERE LACING SOME OF THE BUILDS WITH
EXPLOSIVES.
WE'RE DROPPING THEM.
WE'RE PUTTING THEM IN FRONT OF A HUGE-- ONE OF THOSE HUGE
60-MILE-AN-HOUR WIND FANS, FANS THEY USE ON MOVIE SETS.
WE'RE DOING A LOT OF DESTROYING OF LEGGOS.
WE GET TO SEE A LOT OF REALLY COOL BUILDS.
IT IS A LOT OF FUN.
AND I JUST EYE DON'T KNOW, IT'S ONE OF THOSE THINGS.
>> -- ITS A FEEL-GOOD SHOW.
I ALWAYS SAY YOU WATCH A LOT OF THESE SHOWS THAT ARE SORT OF
REALITY, AND THEY'RE KIND OF GOTCHA SHOWS.
GET THEM ALL BOOZED UP AND WATCH THEM FIGHT.
THAT'S NOT LEGO MASTERS.
IT COMES BACK TO IT'S GOOD TIMES FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH.
AND, TRUTHFULLY, I NEED TO KNOW: DO YOU LIKE GOOD TIMES?
>> Stephen: I DO, WILL ARNETT.
AND THAT'S WHY I LIKE THIS INTERVIEW SO MUCH.
OKAY.
OUR SECOND SEASON-- I'M SAYING "OUR" BECAUSE I'M SO INVESTED AT
THIS POINT.
OUR SECOND SEASON OF LEGO MASTERS STARTS JUNE 1 ON FOX.
THE MAN IS WILL ARNETT, EVERYBODY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A PERFORMANCE BY BROCKHAMPTON.
♪ ♪ ♪