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i need some beer
i'm a nice person but there's no
question that i'm a alcoholic
i'm getting three beers ever since
alcohol
tristan drinks all day all night
it's out of control i gotta get a few
drinks at this before
target i'm always stressed out so that's
why i pick up a beer can and drink it to
make that stress go away
it has me feeling good boy
it actually takes about a year and a
half to stop the shakes and to feel
normal again and it takes about five
more to get actually where i want to be
tristan is probably drinking at least 12
to 16 of those 22 ounce cans of beer and
then sometimes i'll see the small
bottles of hard liquor with it
the toll alcohol has taken on tristan is
is huge
his face looks leathered he looks 20
years older than he is he is so thin
right now he's like over six feet tall
and only 100 pounds he's just
deteriorating right in front of our eyes
the helicopter's blindfolded tristan
drinks to the point that he is
hallucinating and thinks that he sees
people attacking him
good
i'm not good
when he gets drunk and when he gets mad
he gets more aggressive
like a dark cloud when he is drunk
because my beard i honestly don't even
know how tristan is still alive with as
much as he drinks and as unhealthy as he
is
myself
i'm not worried about dying
i don't even care i don't like thinking
about it
tristan has given up on himself
our father was full blood native
american
he was from the choctaw and muskogee
creek nations of oklahoma
but our dad was in and out
mostly out so there was never any
stability
the bond between tristan his mom was
pretty tight he loved his mama he loved
our mom so much our mom loved him to
death and he was her favorite
when tristan was 13 years old our mom
passed away from pancreatic cancer
it took her so quickly
i lost my mom and
i had no idea what to do i was numb and
i hit the wall
and everybody was crying and
i went outside
and just laid there in the grass
and i knew
it was over at that point she was my
everything
he did have his big brother eric to look
up to
eric is about six years older than
tristan and he was charming competent
athletic and tristan really started to
idolize him like a father figure and
eric just
he loved being a big brother eric did
start to struggle and he never talked to
anybody about it until he finally just
couldn't deal with it anymore
and he started drinking
four years after mom died eric was in a
car accident
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my brother was drinking at a party
he decided to drive home and he swerved
around a truck
and rolled over off the road he was
paralyzed from the chest down
for several years before he died
when eric passed away
i mean i didn't even feel anything at
that point i just
i was just numb
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once he starts drinking that's the only
thing that he cares about
now it's the worst i've seen it he's
been arrested for being drunk in public
dui assault it's to the point where now
he can't really be clean and be
productive
i bought a funeral package because i
feel it's only a matter of time before
he would drink himself to death
i lost my brother my mom my dad and i
feel numb and my family doesn't
understand that so then i turn to
alcohol so i don't have to think about
anything
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i only got like 12 looks to my moon
so right now i'm staying in my sister's
backyard
it's not hard at all i just sleep in a
blanket i get up early in the morning
and i'll go to the park waste time drink
get blacked out come back and pass out
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you want to grab severe butts out of
there for me
you want to do the dirty work what
what is it
i'm not picking up human poo that is not
normal it's disgusting let me pour
bleach on it first okay
we're cleaning up your mess and there's
one area in particular that you can do
yourself where is that
okay
i worry about you so i don't think you
worry about me i do i don't receive love
from you
or jessica or tammy or anybody
but we do love you
but you won't stay sober long enough to
talk shut the up man
hey
i didn't mean to make you upset
my name is michael gonzalez i'm a
certified intervention professional
we don't want tristan to have a bottom
of death institutions or jails we don't
want that for him he needs alcohol to
survive every day he goes through
withdrawals every single day yeah
that liquor store right there it's a
it's a lot that that stop light sir
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he has been drinking michael and looks
like they're about five minutes out okay
hey
wow
come on in come on in take a seat
for a second come on come on
come take a seat with us
yeah trust me all right
they just want to talk to you all right
that's it
for real come on
this is michael can you just trust me
one more time at least
hey tristan could i get you to sit down
over here please can i bring this beer
absolutely yeah absolutely yeah
so i just want you to know you got a
family here that loves you and i
remember i told you
i'm getting to know this family and i
really appreciate that you're willing to
sit here and listen okay
all right you're up tracy
i've always been so proud to call you my
little brother
you have always been so adventurous
spending the majority of your time
outdoors climbing trees and building
stuff by yourself
i'm sorry
if there were times when you needed me i
couldn't be there for you
you never filmed me
i've seen you become another person yeah
yeah
we don't need to do that this is love we
need we don't need to be like that with
everybody if you don't accept this help
today
no longer be in contact with you at all
yeah yeah you're not going to be in
contact with me you know go ahead come
on man calm down
no i don't want to see that calm down
go ahead calm down
calm down we don't we don't need to do
that we're not here for that you're
doing it tristan we're not here for that
man this is love
that's the only thing we're here for if
a paper tells you that you can't be in
contact with your brother
your pieces
tristan come on tristan we don't do that
we don't do that we're not going to do
that
this conversation is done dude
yeah i'll walk with you i'll welcome you
oh my gosh that skirt doesn't crap out
of me i thought maybe you'd be like a
little bit more sober go back upstairs
no we can go outside have you ever been
through alcohol i actually absolutely
have how'd that do i'm sober 13 years
and i had the life just like you exactly
like you if i'm able to get out anytime
you want man anytime you want we're
going to get in the car go and if you
want to leave treatment you don't like
it you can leave man nobody's going to
hold you against your will
i'll do it sunday
it's now we got to go now
everything is arranged for right now i'm
not going to be locked up though no
we're getting in the car and we're
driving there nobody's locking you up
man so you'll go
let's give it a shot man
i'll give it a shot proud of you man
let's go say goodbye to the family let's
get on the road all right all right i
appreciate you man you can do this man
you can do this we're strong we can't
get through anything i love you
welcome to legacy outdoor adventures so
you ready to start your uh no journey
i'm not
is there any part of you that's curious
what this place is about i don't give a
about this place
dude i'm done with this
tristan relax you can shut your mouth i
don't want to be here
a lot of the clients who first arrive
here are angry and do not want to be
here and have some frustration however
this degree of anger is unusual is there
a gas station around
there's a gas station in town it's a
little ways off okay so can i get
alcohol there it's closed
there are no all-night gas stations here
yeah this isn't gonna work out
once you tell me i can't get alcohol i'm
gonna hit you right in the face can you
make it through the night i can make it
through the night but i can't make it
through the day let's take one step at a
time go to bed get a good night's sleep
get through tonight without a drink
after i wake up dude i'm gonna be in a
whole different mood
when tristan first arrived he did not
want to stay he threatened to leave
however right now tristan is 84 days
sober and doing remarkably well
the last time i've been sober for this
long was eight years ago when i was 18
years old and
it feels really good
hey brother
oh i missed you
i feel just a sense of relief
seeing him and being able to have a
conversation with him
to see him laugh again it just means the
world to me it's just like my brother's
back so right now i am actively working
on building up those relationships with
all of my siblings
how you feeling i feel good i wish it
was a big rappel me too man after
treatment i plan on going back to
construction and i'm trying to stay more
focused on the near future
rather than plan way ahead of time just
because the near future is something
that i'm more in control of
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you