- Uncle Roger have the exact same mic.
(gasps)
(singing in foreign language)
(beeps)
Hello niece and nephew, it's Uncle Roger.
Today is big, important day because today,
Uncle Roger gonna go on zoom date with Auntie Jenny.
Oh, so exciting.
This is Uncle Roger first date since cold-hearted
ex-wife, Auntie Helen left.
Auntie Helen heart so cold, Uncle Roger don't
even need fridge in house.
Her heart so cold, you put leftover
on her chest, it stay fresh forever.
But Uncle Roger don't know how to prepare for date anymore.
Been too long, what do people do for date now?
Hopefully, Uncle Roger still have sex appeal.
I want to be Uncle on street,
but hot young nephew in the sheets.
Mm.
Uncle Roger also bought bow tie.
Hopefully Auntie Jenny impress.
Uncle Roger don't know how to wear this, hiya.
Too long never use bow tie. (bright classical music)
Okay, okay, it worked, it worked now.
Bow tie so fashion, sure must impress Auntie Jenny.
Must not forget to comb my hair also.
How I look, how I look so trendy, so fashion.
Okay, Uncle Roger ready to go on Zoom date now.
But first, Uncle Roger need to put my leg down from chair.
Not because Uncle Roger upset, it's because more polite.
(clicks)
- [SpongeBob Narrator] A few moments later.
- Oh my God, you so pretty, you even prettier over Zoom.
- Oh my goodness, you're not too bad yourself.
- I bought new bow tie just for you, what you think?
- Looks so nice, Uncle Roger, a little bit uh...
Little bit crook.
- Oh, little bit crook.
Oh, okay, okay, Uncle Roger not used to wearing bow ties.
- So, so fancy, so fancy, Auntie Jenny like.
- Uncle Roger haven't been on date in five year, so nervous.
- Uncle Roger haven't been on date
in five years? - No, no, so lonely.
Always alone. - Wow.
- Very sad. (melancholy music)
- Uncle Roger, same.
- Really?
But Auntie Jenny is so pretty.
How come no man come after you?
- Auntie Jenny is picky.
Need to find the right match.
Not lot of guys who like the tai chi,
like to go to the market,
slap watermelon. (whip snaps)
- Hiya.
Good man is hard to find.
So for this date, Uncle Roger prepared a meal
for myself and I made egg fried rice.
I got recipe from BBC food.
Ha ha ha, just kidding, just kidding.
- Auntie Jenny make the egg fried rice.
- Oh my God, your egg fried rice looks so nice.
- Thank you.
So Uncle Roger approve. - Uncle Roger approve.
- Oh, oh. (giggling) - Oh, oh, oh, oh.
We got so much chemistry already, oh my God.
- Uncle Roger, I'm feeling the love.
- Uncle Roger put my leg down from chair,
but now my third leg is standing up.
(laughing)
(beeps)
Sorry, sorry, sometimes Uncle Roger like dirty joke.
- Auntie Jenny love a good dirty joke.
- Oh, what's your favorite dirty joke?
- Auntie Jenny, uh yeah, come back later.
I tell you on second date, can't give it all away, okay?
- So Auntie Jenny, where are you from?
- Auntie Jenny from LA.
- LA? (echoing)
LA so far from Uncle Roger, Uncle Roger live in London.
Hiya.
- How Tinder going to do us like that, okay?
Finally find a perfect match, and 6,000 miles away.
- Tinder playing with Uncle Roger feeling.
One day, maybe we can meet.
Maybe Uncle Roger can buy a pigeon,
send Auntie Jenny a letter.
- So Uncle Roger, did you make your own fried rice?
- Yes, Uncle Roger know how to make egg fried rice
since I was three year old.
This is Uncle Roger best dish ever,
because Uncle Roger, when I was younger I work
in Chinese takeaway and I was child labor.
Let me show you Uncle Roger favorite possession.
Uncle Roger don't have many valuable thing in life.
Uncle Roger have no kids, no wife, no pet, no dog.
But the most valuable thing to me is my rice cooker.
Mm. (kisses) (romantic music)
Mm, oh sorry, don't mean to kiss rice cooker
in front of Auntie Jenny.
Uncle Roger have this rice cooker ten year now,
lasted longer than my marriage.
But this rice cooker is Uncle Roger kid.
I bring it to school, sometimes I sleep next to it.
Sometimes I take bath with it
and then accidentally electrocute myself, but it's worth it.
It's the sacrifice parent make for children.
Don't worry, I will never cheat on you
unless it's with my rice cooker.
Do you have rice cooker, Auntie Jenny?
- Auntie Jenny do not have rice cooker.
Auntie Jenny had to decide between rice cooker
and my most prized possession.
- (gasps) It's a karaoke mic.
Oh my God, that is beautiful.
Because Uncle Roger have the exact same mic. (gasps)
- Hiya, you have the same one?
- It's like the world want us to be together.
Auntie Jenny, let's do karaoke together.
Look at this, let's turn on the mic.
- [Computer] The Bluetooth device is connected successfully.
- This mic sound so cute, sound just like Uncle Roger.
My favorite singer is Cantonese singer, Jacky Cheung.
When Uncle Roger younger,
many people say I look like Jacky.
But then Uncle Roger always say,
"Uncle Roger better looking."
Let me show you a few song.
(singing in foreign language)
♪ Wise men say ♪
♪ Only fools march in ♪
- [SpongeBob Narrator] Five hours later.
- (sighs) I think we got along so well.
When can I see you in real life?
So we go karaoke together. (thoughtful piano music)
I can bring you to the park, eat some rice, feed some duck.
We have nice life together.
- Uncle Roger, feeding duck sounds so nice.
I also really like to eat duck.
- No no, we feed the duck, we don't eat the duck,
we feed. - Oh.
- This duck belong to the park, cannot eat, no, no.
Duck you see hanging from Chinese restaurant,
that's not duck that from park, that's duck from market.
Different duck in the UK.
If you eat duck from park, you get fine, it's illegal.
Uncle Roger got dark secret.
Uncle Roger not allowed in US anymore,
because last time Uncle Roger tried to go to US,
I was deported.
- Huh? (echoing)
Because uncle Roger tried to bring crispy pork into LAX.
- Uncle Roger, are you a criminal?
- No no no, not criminal.
Criminal smuggle heroin and cocaine.
Uncle Roger just smuggle crispy pork,
because I miss food from home.
But the customs officer, they don't like crispy pork.
They are all vegan.
If Auntie Jenny and Uncle Roger, if we have children,
if they are vegan, we don't want them, we throw them away.
We give them off to a Buddhist temple.
So Uncle Roger cannot go to the US,
because deported by vegan people.
What if, what if Auntie Jenny come to UK,
come to UK London, come visit Uncle Roger here.
What you think, can you do that?
- Uncle Jenny will do anything to see Uncle Roger.
I will go to UK. (kids cheering)
- I hope I get to see Auntie Jenny on second date sometime.
- Auntie Jenny would like to see Uncle Roger on second date.
- Bye!
(sighs)
That was such a nice date.
Uncle Roger not have so much fun in a long time.
Auntie Jenny is my true soulmate.
Maybe Uncle Roger can now move on from my ex-wife.
(sighs)
(phone rings)
Oh, who calling me at this hour?
Must be my best friend, Tony.
(ominous whooshing)
I bought new bow tie just for you, what you think?
(laughs)
(beeps)
(singing in foreign language)
Ah, I fuck up the lyrics, what are the lyrics?
I am nervous sing in front of you. (laughs)
(beeps)
- Goodness, you not too bad yourself.
(laughing)
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it's not funny.
Okay. (wistful music)
(giggling)