These are the 12 things you do not want to be saying to a guy you like.
Hey, it's Mark here, founder of Make Him Yours. And today, I'm going
through the 12 things that you definitely don't want to say to a guy
if you're interested in him. Stay tuned.
[Music playing]
All right, these are the top 12 things that you DO NOT want to be saying
to a guy you like. You don't need no man, so you utter,
Jermia: I'm fiercely independent.
Okay, I want to make this clear. It's not the independent thing,
that's good. It's the "fiercely" thing or any other word like it. If you
proudly declare to men that they have absolutely no relevance,
use or value in your life, they're not going to want to be part of it.
Number two, you're on the first couple of dates with him, maybe
he tries to make a move or push things forward, but you stop him
and say to him,
Jermia: Uh, I need to know what we are.
In the same way, you don't like a guy who has an agenda who maybe
just talks to you cause he wants to get something like sex, men
don't appreciate a woman who comes at them trying to get
something. When you can be in the moment enjoying him and let
that relationship form naturally, men are going to be attracted to
that and want to be involved in that. Whereas if you try and force
things, men are going to pull away.
Number three, you're in his bedroom for the first time. You guys are
about to sleep together. He's imagined this moment a hundred
times in his head and all the amazing things that he's going
to get to see when he takes off your clothes, and then you say,
Jermia: Uh, can we turn the lights off?
Don't blow his fantasy by telling him that you don't believe you
are the goddess that he thinks you are. He's already imagined
this a hundred times. He already thinks you're sexy as hell.
Leave the lights on. Let him live out his fantasy with you.
Number four, you get onto the topic of a previous relationship
and you proudly declare,
Jermia: My ex was such an asshole.
That's not making him feel good, that's just making him think,
"Why did you date him if he was such an asshole? Wait, if she
attracts assholes, what does that make me?"
Number five is the entitled woman.
Jermia: A real man pays for the woman on a first date.
As soon as you switch from a mindset where you are appreciative
of a man's efforts and go to expectations of efforts, you're
going from a place of gratefulness to a place where you're going to
be p*ssed off if he doesn't deliver them. Again, it comes at men with
a lack of appreciation and men are not going to like it.
Number six, you don't want to embarrass yourself in front of
him, so you say,
Jermia: I don't want to eat in front of you.
A man would much rather you make a mess in front of him
and not care what he thinks about it. Then he would. You try and be
all prim and proper and care so much about his opinion. Guys
appreciate you being yourself and being relaxed in front of them and
going to have to eat in front of him someday, so you may as well start now.
Number seven, you've had a run of frustrating guys back to back.
You starting to lose faith that there's any good men out there.
So you say to him,
Jermia: All men are the same.
If there's one way to ensure you keep pushing the good men away
and attracting the same garbage, it's to tell the new men you meet
that all men are all the same. Not only does it box that guy in and
not give him the chance to make his own impression on you.
It shows that you have bad or negative beliefs about men and expectations
of men. You're going to continue to push the good guys away
and filter in all the crap that you've already been attracting.
Number eight, you've been frustrated with dating in general,
so you go to vent your concerns. You say to the guy,
Jermia: Men always flake on me.
That's what you say. But what he hears is,
"Men must be flaking on this girl for a reason."
His instincts tell him that if other men are flaking on you, there
must be a reason they're doing that and he starts to wonder why that is
and what red flag have I missed in this girl? That means I should
probably get out of here as well.
Number nine, he's met you. He wants to know more about you,
so he asks what you're doing with your life, what you're doing with
yourself, and you answer him,
Jermia: Uhm, I don't really have any goals or ambitions.
I don't think there's a more disappointing statement that
a girl can make on a date than to say I don't have any goals or
ambitions at all. Remember, men want to get involved in the life of
an exciting woman and become a part of her world. So when you
say that, you communicate to him that there's nothing to become
a part of.
Number 10, you're excited to be out on the date with him.
He's charming and he's wonderful. So you let this one slip,
Jermia: I'm so lucky you chose to date me.
If you want to quickly show a guy that you believe he's out of your
league, this is the best way to do it. When you say,
"Oh God, I'm so lucky, I'm so lucky you chose me and I'm so lucky
you're coming on a date with me," you're essentially saying that you
see his value as way higher than yours. Don't say that to a guy.
It's not true. It's different if you're in a relationship and you're both
saying that you're lucky to have found each other, but when you're
out dating people, remember, he's lucky to be dating you too.
Number 11, you might be joking or you might be half serious, but a
guy asks you, "what do you look for in a man?" And you say back,
Jermia: I could never date a guy with a small p*nis.
Imagine if a guy said to you,
"Uh, I'll only date a girl who's at least a D cup." Ick right?
It's superficial as hell and it certainly doesn't make all the girls
who are D cups wanna date him. It just pushes away everyone.
It's the same with a guy when you talk about his size. Guys don't want
to be a part of it because it seems superficial.
And of course, number 12, we couldn't do a video about the
things that you don't want to say to a guy that men hate without
including this classic,
Jermia: I'm fine.
I get it, all right. You wish that we would sense it and figure out what
was wrong. We wish that you would tell us what was wrong. We've all
got to meet in the middle to have great dating and relationships
moving forward, of which communication is always
going to be a lifeblood. The better you can communicate with your
man and the better he comes to communicate with you, the more
positive fulfilling relationships you're going to have in the future.
Well ladies, thanks so much for watching! I hope you enjoyed the
video. Those are the 12 things that you do not want to be uttering to
the guys that you like.
Let me know your thoughts or if you have others,
pop them in the comments below.
Remember, I respond to every single question, so type a response.
Let me hear from you. I'd love to know your thoughts.
Give the video a thumbs up, hit the subscribe button as well with
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you in the next video.
Jermia: I'm not not eating for anyone.
Hey, stop it. This is a you problem. I'm so like, I'm so lucky you chose..
Men always flake on me. I'm constantly getting flaked on, I am the flakiest flake
that's ever attracted a flake. Call me a shot cause I got flaked.
My [inaudible] got mental.