Hello everybody my name is Markiplier
And welcome back to "will you press the button?"
Now the first question that we got lined up is
actually rather insulting.
I just came here to have a good time
and I feel so attacked right now.
You actually have to do something productive,
but you have to get off this website.
And I will never do anything productive with my life
EVER
ever, ever, ever, never.
Aww fine.
Fine I'll do something productive,
but it kind of defeats the purpose
because I pressed the button
and now I have to get off the website.
How am I going to do anything productive if I pressed the button and I'm still on the website?
Oh well whatever.
Magic exists and you are the most powerful of the mages
but
you have to vow to never harm or kill a living creature, even if it's for self-defense.
Well, that's fine.
I didn't plan on killing anyone or anything, as it stands in my own life.
Why would when I suddenly get super powers,
of magic,
I would go on a rampaging killing spree? (suspicious...) ( O_o)
I think that's okay.
I'm a force for good! It's great!
You press the button but the button doesn't work. (GASP!)
What the hell!? What's with these catch-twenty-two-I don't unders-
it's a conundrum!
It's a paradox! You can't do this!
I-I won't be a part of this!
Oh God but what will the button do!?
What is the button going to do!?
EUHHGGG
...
I tried!
It didn't do nothing...
...okay.
You become a tyrant of a country and turn it into a super power,
but your country will go down the path of Hitler's Germany.
So basically, you'll be Hitler.
There's nowhere around this, there's no but, there's no catch,
it's just: press this button and you become Hitler.
Well, I don't think I want to be labeled as Hitler today.
I think I'll just move on with my life being Markiplier for at least a little bit.
Restart your life with all the knowledge you currently have,
but,
you can't recreate the relationships you currently have?
(inhale) Ohh...
Oh, that's different...
So you know all this stuff but, like, what would happen with your family?
Oh man you couldn't meet anyone that you know?
Oh God...
I mean, it'd basically be like starting your life over again.
I guess you'd grow up in a different area but still be the same perso-
that would be so weird.
Man, I wouldn't know Bob, I wouldn't know Wade, I wouldn't know Tyler and Jessie
and all my friends back home
I wouldn't have all the relationships I would've had, man
But I'd know things! Like, I would know everything that happened in the world
And I imagine that the butterfly effect wouldn't be too terrible that it'd change things on a HUGE
Scale, I- I guess?
Man that- ohh man I don't know! that's a 49/51 split right there what would you guys have done? (pressed. i have no relationships.)
I- oh man
you can have anything you want but your trapped in a dome for eternity
Eternity is a long time
Lets just say A LONG TIME
We're talking end of the universe eternity
But if I had anything that I want...HOW BIG IS THIS DOME?
Is it the size of my body? Is it a perfectly shaped dome to my bo- I'm assuming
It's like a dome the size of a city maybe?
And for some reason that dome is drifting through the universe and you cant control where it goes?
Would you live long enough to do- I guess you can have anything you want
You get anything that could make ya live long- THIS IS A WEIRD QUESTION
Ahh I don't know!!
BUT I GET ANYTHING I WANT!?
SURE? Am I gonna be alone in this dome??
Is there gonna be nobody with me in the dome THATS A BIG PART OF THIS
Do I have ACCESS to internet outside of the dome?
Is that one of the things that I could have anything I wa- I guess...yaa
If I'm alone in this dome though- BUT ANYTHING I WANT I COULD BRING PEOPLE IN
I COULD HAVE friends in my dome!
And then they would be stuck with me
And then eventually hate me...LETS PRESS THE BUTTON
LETS HAVE A PARTY WITH A BUNCH OF PEOPLE THAT HATE ME!! :D
every party I've been to... birthday parties when I was a child
that's- I'M JUST KIDDING! I never had a birthday party, and that's true *laughs*
You have unlimited money to buy anything except food, but you must fight to the death for your food for every meal
HOLY CRAP!
breakfast, lunch AND dinner?
And who am I fighting? Ple tell me I'm fighting an adorable little bunny and that
DO I HAVE TO EAT WHAT I FIGHT?
OH GOD
DO I HAVE TO EAT WHAT I KILL?!
Is that worth having unlimited money?
What if I'm killing Greg?
Do I have to eat Greg?
Oh god. I'm putting a lot of thought into this that I probably shouldn't
I don't know if I'll-yeah whatever I'll press the button
I'm in a button-pressing mood
You can have three wishes of your choice
but with each wish one person who you know dies
and I'm assuming it's at random
and I'm assuming the rules would be, you can't wish for them back to life. That would defeat the point
cause then you'd just make the wish, they'd die and then you'd, wish goes-
THAT WOULD BE A CIRCLE IN JUST STUPIDITY
put someone through suffering that they didn't need to go through
What are these wishes gonna do?
Can I wish for world peace? Can I sacrifice for the greater good?
Like who- I don't- do I know that many people?
What about- Would all the fans that I've met over the years count in the pool of people that I know?
I mean technically I've met a lot of people out there
and I- That sounds bad for me that I'm trying to soften the blow by increasing the number of people that I know
and that's not what I'm trying to do
I sound like a really meanie puss
I blew up Detroit for a piece of cake
this is still bad
but not as bad as that
I think
that if these wishes are genie wishes
that are unlimited but
restricted by rules
I think for the GREATER GOOD
FOR THE GREATER GO- I'M THINKING ABOUT THE GREATER GOOD
I'm not doing this for selfish intentions
I'm totally doing this for selfish intentions... ( mark? )
but if it's for the GREATER GOOD ( MARK? )
yeah sure I'll press the button (dead.)
Oh god no it was under 50%
OH GOD I'M AN EVIL PERSON
OH I'M AN ASSHOLE
OH NO
I threw my fans under the bus for power
OH WHAT HAVE I BECOME
You will become famous for many things including music, TV shows, etc., but
Every second you aren't on camera, your hair stands up in every place and looks like a hedge.
Oh that's hilarious
I would actually like that
at every moment- that
OH MY GOD
then I'd know when there's a camera on me
because if I'm in my bedroom and everything is sticking out like this
and all of a sudden it goes back to sauve and nice, there's someone spying on me
I would be the secret NSA weapon
or anti NSA weapon
I would know when people are trying to spy on me
that's beautiful
of course
of course I'll press the button
Who wouldn't?
It's the perfect sig-
Half the Earth will become a beautiful Utopian paradise
but the other half will become a barren Dystopian hellhole.
okay
so does that force half of the population to go to the Dystopian hellhole?
or can they move to the beautiful Utopian paradise?
Is there some magical barrier that's keeping them from interacting with each other ( '- ')
because that doesn't seem good
and I mean who's to say who goes where?
I mean... one beautiful Utopian paradise sounds pretty good to me but
3 bill-poin-and a half billion people sta-
What if it's like men in the Dystopian hellhole and women in the Utopian paradise?
What if that's how it's split up?
Well that would change the dynamic of everything really quickly.
It would only have to live there for one generation
Cool!
...or reasearch cloning very quickly.
or stem cell reasearch.
Let's assume that's what it is
and we- we men prevert back to Mad Max style grunting and killing of each other
in the Dystopian hellhole
yeah let's do that
Let's do it! Why not?
You will instantly learn everything that you have to in school
but the internet will explode
WHY NOT JUST STUDY?
hit the frickin books
Why would you risk the internet?
NO!
Don't be lazy! DON'T PRESS THAT BUTTON!
WE NEED THE INTERNET
I NEED THE INTERNET
I NEED TO SEE BOOBS
[screams from lack of boobs]
It literally says you'll instantly learn everything you HAVE to learn in school
not EVERYTHING
you'll literally onl- and depending on what school you're in
like if you're in junior high school and you only HAVE to learn up to algebra 2
that doesn't boat well for everything in your future
and you blew up the internet for that, you lazy, lazy sack of crap
God dammit sure
let's blow it up
fine
[laughs]
You have perfect eyebrows but
You have an uncontrolable desire to punch a baby
[laughs]
I-I already have that uncontrolable desire deep down with in me
It's hard to restrain the baby-punching beast that lives inside [laughing]
yeah I'll take perfect eyebrows
my eyebrows are.. a nightmare?
I don't know. Are they good? I've never really considered how my eyebrows are.
every woman man will love you but
all the people is obese
that's not funny but the way but the way it's written is really funny
all the people is obese
well, I'm assuming considering the way you structured that sentence the the people is a band or something and
and all the people is a band
and they are obese
so I'm going to use my deductive reasoning to say that that's not
That's not all people ARE obese
That means all the people is obese
so, I'll press it
Hey! Let's share some love!
You become the best inventor, scientist, and engineer in the world, inventing a lot of things to make life easier and various uses
but you'll be seen as a villain and as you use your violence
oh if I could be an engineer
OH I COULD'VE BEEN AN ENGINEER
[screams because #references]
uhhh
I'll press it. Yeah sure.
This kind of relates to the "would you rather" that I did
You will be a Jedi in the star wars universe
But you will be followed by a non-killable jarjar binks. (why should anyone care about that?)
Well, see-see the thing is
the Jedi in the star wars universe don't have a very good survival rate.
even if they do get to use the fork
they tend to die, a lot
there aren't many old Jedi
besides Yoda and he still died
Oh sorry spoilers everybody
mmm, so you know, mmm, I
[grunts]
It doesn't- I this- I will not!
I've had a good streak of pressing buttons here but I'm not gonna do that
You become the sexiest person alive but
your IQ drops 20 points
Now, this is a funny question
not because of what's in front of me
but because I know that in the comments, immediately this question would show up
it's gonna be non-stop people
[Mark Mocking His Fans] "Well if I lost 20 points, I'd still be a genius"
Like everyone in the comments in the next page
has 180 IQ and no one could prove other wise
so let's see
[Mark Mocking once again] "That's fine I'll still be above average"
[laughs]
I'd rather be smart
An IQ score of 110 to 120 isn't too bad
Cause 140 is genius level
"So my I is 140 okay I'm still riley [really] smart rnr"
"My IQ is already below 20"
Oh man
Yep, "My IQ is 149, so I would still be above average, thank you very much."
Yeah, everyone in the comments in a member of Mensa
[laughs]
@DEEZNUTSANDSUCKIT : "MY IQ IS 0 SO THERES NO DOWNSIDE"
Everyone thinks their IQ is 140
NO
Oh god
It's like this comment section proves that they don't. They just don't.
Oh my go- OH MY GOD
I'll leave this one with you.
You will find the person of your dreams but they are really into eating small animals.
So take that for what you will
decide what small animals that their eating
or decide the size of animal that they eat underneath that
becuase I'm pretty sure that's a blanket swee-sweep statement
but anything under a Yorkshire Terrier and under is a small animal and they will eat it
They would love to eat it.
So anyway
Thank you, everybody, so much for watching and let me know what you'd pick in the comments down below.
And as always, I will see you
In the next video
BYE BYE
[the markie dance]>>>>>>>>
[seriously, who stays on the video this long?]