Whenever I hear about a horrendous emotional abuse story
I always ask myself who would put up with that
Why would they stay but if I think about it?
the longer my couples are together that I counseled many times the more likely it is that
They've forgotten about the importance of nurturing their relationship and many of us are guilty of doing
Subtle forms of emotional abuse don't believe me
Well, when's the last time you heard your girlfriend say I have three kids at home?
including their husband in that or when's the last time your partner blamed you for something instead of
Dealing with it something emotional
When's the last time you've minimized?
something your partner is done in order to prevent you feeling worse about it or
Do you remember a time when your partner said something that invaded a boundary of yours?
Maybe it caused embarrassment or shameful feelings
Maybe they made a joke about your weight with your best friends and they thought it was no big deal
I mean they could even say I was just poking fun
We were having fun, but that isn't fun
If it's something that makes you feel hurtful or shameful
These are all forms of emotional abuse now, don't get me wrong
This is not for couples. Who are
Truly being emotionally abused if you're truly in an emotional you've married an abuser
Abusers are sick, and you?
Cannot fix them. The best way you can take care of that is to go to a mental health care professional plan a
Plan away an escape way to get out of the house with your children
But this is for more the couples who have just gotten
Easy or careless with the way they treat each other and I think many of us fall into that trap
Trap the longer we're together
We forget the importance of being kind to our partner talking kind and we take them for granted
So we include them we know so much about them. We may invade their boundaries without ever thinking about it
So today I want you to just focus on this and I'm gonna give you some tips. I'm gonna give you five tips
Number one if you're feeling bad about something
Confront your partner directly now if they get real defensive, that's a true form of abuse
That's emotional abuse and I would confront that even more
I may even make a suggestion that the two of you go for therapy
That is not good in a healthy marriage when you confront your partner with something in a healthy relationship
Yet your partner is supposed to open it and look at it and not get defensive but want to work with you in
Stopping and stopping whatever they did that made you feel bad
Secondly set boundaries if your partner is invading boundaries that are the sacred
part of your relationship
Whether it's telling your partner
telling other friends things that are personal about you that you don't want other people to know or maybe
Taking away your me time or trying to put themselves project another project
Into your me time that's an invasion of a very important boundary to you
You want to strengthen that boundary and you want to be able to tell your partner?
How important that is to you don't stay silent about that and don't use a passive aggressive approach in
Trying to work with your partner in that
Thirdly practice giving each other respect. What does respect look like? What did it look like when you two got together?
respect looks like
you wanting the best for your partner and
Feeling that love and support when you go to your partner with a problem
They shouldn't insult you for having the same problem. They should listen. They should want to be your advocate
They should want to help you with that
next work on your self-esteem
If you're taking everything your partner says personally, then you're gonna end up being insulted all the time
And it's not your partner's fault. It doesn't matter if they like the color dress
You wear doesn't matter if they like the same TV show
Doesn't matter if your favorite dress isn't their favorite or your favorite shirt
Isn't theirs your partner's shouldn't be a mini version of you and lastly get back and take back responsibility
For your relationship, you're teaching your partner how to treat you if you put up with poor treatment
You're gonna get more of it. Where is your bar? I want you to set your bar higher
I want you to each set your bar higher and work together to create a marriage or a relationship
You love being part of